Sure I have a drinking problem, want to stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 128
Sure I have a drinking problem, want to stop
It is very hard for me to actually post here as I am admitting to myself that I have a drinking problem. I am a 41 yr old married mum of 3 little kids and over the last 12 months I have been drinking alot more than I have in recent yrs. I have always drank but socially, never at home alone like I do now.
We have been trying to have another baby for over 2 yrs, have had 4 miscarriages and I think that has alot to do with why I drink. I actually binge drink, I was never one to drink during the week, only on weekends when usually I will drink either 2 nights or 3, as much as a bottle of wine and a couple of mixer cans at each sitting. I can't stop at one, I want the feelling of being drunk, I always drink alone, usually when my husband is on night shift or at sport, as I don't want him to know how weak I am.
I just love relaxing at weekends with a dvd, or at the computer, with a few drinks, but I am recognising that I am drinking excessively, as I wake sometimes during the night with a shaky feeling and feel like crap in the mornings.
I am trying to get into fitness and gym, but I am sabotaging my weekly efforts by binge drinking at the weekends. And now, I so look forward to that first drink, that I have been drinking during the week, just a couple of nights usually but that means I am not there for my kids, as I am busy trying to get them to bed so I can have a drink.
So thats another point, I am finding my self with no patience for my beautiful children, I get cranky and tired with them so easily and my temper flares up out of nowhere, I NEVER used to feel like this and am sure this is a byproduct of drinking.
If I could just have one relaxing glass of wine, that would be great, but I can't stop at one, and I think about going for weekends without the relaxing drink in the evening and it worries me. I think, I look forward to that why deprive myself. I am worried that my health is suffering, I am worried that I am shortening my life, and I worry that my kids will suffer. My 7 yr old daughter has told me I drink too much wine, and I hate driving to the bottle shop with them, thinking that this is what they will remember of their mum.
There are so many things I need to and want to do but if I have a night of drinking that all goes out the window. I feel like I am doing all of the many things I do on 60 percent, I feel like a weak, bad, cranky, impatient mother and I want to be a better mum for my babies. I would love to just have one glass of wine now and then, but I don't know if that is possible because I class myself as a binge drinker. I want an alcohol free life, but I don't know how to do that, or if I can do it.
So there it is, any advice would be appreciated.
We have been trying to have another baby for over 2 yrs, have had 4 miscarriages and I think that has alot to do with why I drink. I actually binge drink, I was never one to drink during the week, only on weekends when usually I will drink either 2 nights or 3, as much as a bottle of wine and a couple of mixer cans at each sitting. I can't stop at one, I want the feelling of being drunk, I always drink alone, usually when my husband is on night shift or at sport, as I don't want him to know how weak I am.
I just love relaxing at weekends with a dvd, or at the computer, with a few drinks, but I am recognising that I am drinking excessively, as I wake sometimes during the night with a shaky feeling and feel like crap in the mornings.
I am trying to get into fitness and gym, but I am sabotaging my weekly efforts by binge drinking at the weekends. And now, I so look forward to that first drink, that I have been drinking during the week, just a couple of nights usually but that means I am not there for my kids, as I am busy trying to get them to bed so I can have a drink.
So thats another point, I am finding my self with no patience for my beautiful children, I get cranky and tired with them so easily and my temper flares up out of nowhere, I NEVER used to feel like this and am sure this is a byproduct of drinking.
If I could just have one relaxing glass of wine, that would be great, but I can't stop at one, and I think about going for weekends without the relaxing drink in the evening and it worries me. I think, I look forward to that why deprive myself. I am worried that my health is suffering, I am worried that I am shortening my life, and I worry that my kids will suffer. My 7 yr old daughter has told me I drink too much wine, and I hate driving to the bottle shop with them, thinking that this is what they will remember of their mum.
There are so many things I need to and want to do but if I have a night of drinking that all goes out the window. I feel like I am doing all of the many things I do on 60 percent, I feel like a weak, bad, cranky, impatient mother and I want to be a better mum for my babies. I would love to just have one glass of wine now and then, but I don't know if that is possible because I class myself as a binge drinker. I want an alcohol free life, but I don't know how to do that, or if I can do it.
So there it is, any advice would be appreciated.
Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
Well you have made great progress today, you have found this site and told yourself and the whole world you have a drinking problem and a desire to live a sober life, congratulations!
I was a binge drinker too, but the frequency of the weekend cycles intensified and the periods between drinking kept getting shorter and shorter till the only thing that would break the cycle was unconsciousness. Addiction is quit often progressive. With an excess of substance the brain creates more receptors to handle the excess endorphins. So now one drink triggers all these receptors who are crying out for more, feed me, feed me. But i will just have one drink maybe two and stop.......... not gonna happen
Sorry to say.
Welcome, stick around long enough and you may find the freedom your looking for
I was a binge drinker too, but the frequency of the weekend cycles intensified and the periods between drinking kept getting shorter and shorter till the only thing that would break the cycle was unconsciousness. Addiction is quit often progressive. With an excess of substance the brain creates more receptors to handle the excess endorphins. So now one drink triggers all these receptors who are crying out for more, feed me, feed me. But i will just have one drink maybe two and stop.......... not gonna happen
Sorry to say.Welcome, stick around long enough and you may find the freedom your looking for
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR and our alcoholism forum!:ghug
Good to see your post. You did an excellent job articulating where you are today. There are many paths to sobriety. Many find the easiest way is to utilize a program of recovery. There are many different programs of recovery. A list is in the stickies at the top of this forum. I personally utilize AA and it has worked well for me.
I could identify a lot with your statement about the irritability and lack of patience over small things with your children. In fact that is one of the reasons I sought out sobriety.
Hope to see and hear more from you as you make progress on your recovery.
Good to see your post. You did an excellent job articulating where you are today. There are many paths to sobriety. Many find the easiest way is to utilize a program of recovery. There are many different programs of recovery. A list is in the stickies at the top of this forum. I personally utilize AA and it has worked well for me.
I could identify a lot with your statement about the irritability and lack of patience over small things with your children. In fact that is one of the reasons I sought out sobriety.
Hope to see and hear more from you as you make progress on your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 15
"If I could just have one relaxing glass of wine, that would be great, but I can't stop at one,"
I've only been on here 2 days, but the number of people who sound like they are reading my mind.........
Hello!!!! X.
I'm no expert, not even close, but for me the hardest thing was saying "Hi! I have a problem. It is affecting my life and the lives of people I love. I'd quite like to stop please. Can someone help me?"
You've done this. Admitting this to yourself and others means (to me) that you are ready to do something about it. Read these forums. Be prepared to cry a lot. Try to do a day drink free, then two, then three. It *can* be done. This disease can be beaten and you sound like you have some *very* good reasons for trying as hard as you can....
Yt.
I've only been on here 2 days, but the number of people who sound like they are reading my mind.........
Hello!!!! X.
I'm no expert, not even close, but for me the hardest thing was saying "Hi! I have a problem. It is affecting my life and the lives of people I love. I'd quite like to stop please. Can someone help me?"
You've done this. Admitting this to yourself and others means (to me) that you are ready to do something about it. Read these forums. Be prepared to cry a lot. Try to do a day drink free, then two, then three. It *can* be done. This disease can be beaten and you sound like you have some *very* good reasons for trying as hard as you can....
Yt.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community!
Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Congratulations for seeking a healthier sober life
Blessings to you and your family
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 133
Welcome Sunshine. I can relate to so much of your story. I am a SAHM of 2 young children. In my ealier drinking days (before children) I was more of a binge drinker. Then after children I was home more, not working anymore and slowly began drinking every day. I didn't always get drunk, but I too feel/felt less tolerant, more irritable, and not there emotionally for my kids when I'm drinking. I have had a few starts and stops with drinking and am on Day 2 now without. It feels so much better without the wine (that was my drink of choice also). I can wake up in the morning with a clearer head and feel more rested.
Thanks for sharing and again welcome to the site!
Txsar
Thanks for sharing and again welcome to the site!
Txsar
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Your seven year old is very smart and observant. Please seek medical help to detox safely. The first few days are the worst then it starts getting better. I was a chronic relapser who couldn't go more than a few days sober - now I've got six weeks! So it CAN be done. Just be safe while withdrawing from alcohol. I promise your life will improve when you are sober. You won't always feel guilty and ashamed.
Take it one day at a time! Be gentle with yourself! You can do this! Keep coming back here, lots of love and support here!
:ghug3
Take it one day at a time! Be gentle with yourself! You can do this! Keep coming back here, lots of love and support here!
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Perth, West Oz
Posts: 8
Hi Sunshinebaby, nice to have another aussie on board.
"I would love to just have one glass of wine now and then, but I don't know if that is possible because I class myself as a binge drinker."
Replace wine for beer and I can totally relate. If that was possible for me to do that is what I would have done. I tried moderating my intake but I found out 2 things - 1.) I could not stop at one; 2.)I didn't really want just the occasional beer, I wanted the 'anisthetic" effect of many drinks.
Have you tried just having the occasional wine? If not, why not give it a go for a while and see if that satisfies you.
From many years of trial and error I found that alcohol was just a medicine to treat other emotional/mental/spiritual issues. Eventually alcohol lost any medicating usefullness and became progressively destructive. I've now decided to treat those issues constructively through a psychologist, AA and places like SR. I didn't think I could have any emotional/mental/spiritual problems because I've never had any major trauma, grieving etc. in my life. Life for me on the surface was a bed of roses, I dug beneath the surface and found the truth.
You asked for advice - I suggest looking deeper into why you drink.
As many a person has said before, the grog monster (as I like to call it) is cunning, baffling and powerful. Please take this very seriously. You have done a magnificent thing by posting here and acknowledging your problem. From a veteran of alcoholic tratment, my experience is that anyone who is worried that they may have a drinking problem, does have one and it is more serious than they would care to accept.
Good luck with your journey and continue to seek help from those that have been there.
"I would love to just have one glass of wine now and then, but I don't know if that is possible because I class myself as a binge drinker."
Replace wine for beer and I can totally relate. If that was possible for me to do that is what I would have done. I tried moderating my intake but I found out 2 things - 1.) I could not stop at one; 2.)I didn't really want just the occasional beer, I wanted the 'anisthetic" effect of many drinks.
Have you tried just having the occasional wine? If not, why not give it a go for a while and see if that satisfies you.
From many years of trial and error I found that alcohol was just a medicine to treat other emotional/mental/spiritual issues. Eventually alcohol lost any medicating usefullness and became progressively destructive. I've now decided to treat those issues constructively through a psychologist, AA and places like SR. I didn't think I could have any emotional/mental/spiritual problems because I've never had any major trauma, grieving etc. in my life. Life for me on the surface was a bed of roses, I dug beneath the surface and found the truth.
You asked for advice - I suggest looking deeper into why you drink.
As many a person has said before, the grog monster (as I like to call it) is cunning, baffling and powerful. Please take this very seriously. You have done a magnificent thing by posting here and acknowledging your problem. From a veteran of alcoholic tratment, my experience is that anyone who is worried that they may have a drinking problem, does have one and it is more serious than they would care to accept.
Good luck with your journey and continue to seek help from those that have been there.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by sunshinebaby 
If I could just have one relaxing glass of wine, that would be great, but I can't stop at one, and I think about going for weekends without the relaxing drink in the evening and it worries me. I think, I look forward to that why deprive myself.
Fear of change…For me it felt like I was waiting for life-altering test results. For the longest time I was afraid to quit. I finally had to do it. Hopefully this is the last time I have to quit.
I can remember during my first major attempt at sobriety how I felt when I told myself: “This is the last night of your life that you will get drunk.” I wanted to savor every moment of drunkenness. It sounds ridiculous now, but that's how I felt then. Well, I stopped. The world didn't end. I was still alive.
Now I'm finding things that I can do to fill my "drinking time".
Being sober is like hitting the pause button on my life. I now have the time to slow down and think clear thoughts with a sound mind. I can sit down and plan out how to reach my goals. I now realize that it is impossible for me to do what I dream under the influence. All alcohol ever brought me were useless fantasies and endless longing for a better life.
Sunshine, I’m glad you’re reaching out for help here. Please keep reading and posting. You’ll find lots of support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 128
I am teary and completely overwhelmed at the support from all of you, thank you so much. It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one going through this, and that it can be done.
I woke up this morning, Day 1, feeling excited about changing my life for the better. Drinking was negatively reflecting on all other areas of my life, from my time with my family to my home responsibilites, I was always so tired during the day after staying up late at nights, so house chores wouldn't get done. And also all the things I am so interested in - my hobbies, are being neglected because I am always so tired.
Since I have said to myself many times, I will only have 1 or 2 drinks at the weekends, and that never works, for me I think it is time just to stop. I am not being forced to drink alcohol, but that was what it was beginning to feel like, that it was out of my hands. How I live my life is my choice, and this is what I want to do, become healthy and look after my family.
It pains me to write this but I was at the stage where I would rather put the kids to bed and drink, alone, than to spend time with them, and once I realised that, I knew I had a big problem on my hands.
My weekends will be the test for me, so no doubt I will be online here. Thank you so much again,, and peace to you all.
I woke up this morning, Day 1, feeling excited about changing my life for the better. Drinking was negatively reflecting on all other areas of my life, from my time with my family to my home responsibilites, I was always so tired during the day after staying up late at nights, so house chores wouldn't get done. And also all the things I am so interested in - my hobbies, are being neglected because I am always so tired.
Since I have said to myself many times, I will only have 1 or 2 drinks at the weekends, and that never works, for me I think it is time just to stop. I am not being forced to drink alcohol, but that was what it was beginning to feel like, that it was out of my hands. How I live my life is my choice, and this is what I want to do, become healthy and look after my family.
It pains me to write this but I was at the stage where I would rather put the kids to bed and drink, alone, than to spend time with them, and once I realised that, I knew I had a big problem on my hands.
My weekends will be the test for me, so no doubt I will be online here. Thank you so much again,, and peace to you all.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
One of the best things about using cyber recovery sites
is that we are open 24/7. You also get a wide diversity
of members...using various recovery programs or none
with a wide range of time in sobriety.
We love to share with each other and
new members are especially important.
It's a wise idea to talk with your doctor
and be honest about your drinking consumption
Home alone de toxing can be dangerous
and it's darn uncomfortable anytime.
Just something to think about...
is that we are open 24/7. You also get a wide diversity
of members...using various recovery programs or none
with a wide range of time in sobriety.
We love to share with each other and
new members are especially important.
It's a wise idea to talk with your doctor
and be honest about your drinking consumption
Home alone de toxing can be dangerous
and it's darn uncomfortable anytime.
Just something to think about...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 128
I had a good night tonight. As hubby was on nightshift I would have usually put the kids to bed and opened a bottle of wine, nothing else would have gotten done this evening. I would have woken in the morning very unorganised and tired after a late night of around 11pm or midnight.
But tonight, I had dinner with the kids, watched some tv with them, read them heaps of stories, which we do most nights anyway, put them to bed and now I am having a cuppa tea and I am off to bed soon. I know its the first day, but I feel positive. Peace to you.
But tonight, I had dinner with the kids, watched some tv with them, read them heaps of stories, which we do most nights anyway, put them to bed and now I am having a cuppa tea and I am off to bed soon. I know its the first day, but I feel positive. Peace to you.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Congrats on your decision to stop drinking sunshinebaby, I would like to say waht Carol has said, see a doctor and be honest about your drinking with the doctor.
Depending upon how much and how long one has drank and thier personal health some folks need to be medically detoxed. Detoxing from alcohol can and does kill. I am not telling you this to scare you, but just to where you can do this safely. For most folks the worst of physical detox kicks in on day 3-4, for some they start having bad things like the shakes start the same day they quit. Just see a doctor to be on the safe side, the last things your kids need to see is mom getting the shakes real bad or going into DT's.
Good luck and keep in touch, there are plenty of folks around here to help you through this.
Depending upon how much and how long one has drank and thier personal health some folks need to be medically detoxed. Detoxing from alcohol can and does kill. I am not telling you this to scare you, but just to where you can do this safely. For most folks the worst of physical detox kicks in on day 3-4, for some they start having bad things like the shakes start the same day they quit. Just see a doctor to be on the safe side, the last things your kids need to see is mom getting the shakes real bad or going into DT's.
Good luck and keep in touch, there are plenty of folks around here to help you through this.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
sunshine baby: you told MY story! I have three children...my drinking started as just weekends to unwind (binge, though)...a bottle of wine...maybe another mixed drink or two if the wine wasn't enough. Then I started drinking during the weekdays a few nights a week...just something to do after the kids were down for the night, had the tv on...relaxing. Then it was almost every night.
It totally increased.
I would wake up the next morning...feel cranky with my kids...snapping at them....closing my store sometimes during the week so I could come home for a nap. I didn't want to sign my kids up for sports in the evening because I knew I'd be too tired from the night before to take them!!!
You will find so much support on this site!!! Any time you feel the need to drink, feel free to post here! There's ALWAYS someone here...we have so many time zones represented here!
I'm so glad you're here...pm me anytime you need to.
It totally increased.
I would wake up the next morning...feel cranky with my kids...snapping at them....closing my store sometimes during the week so I could come home for a nap. I didn't want to sign my kids up for sports in the evening because I knew I'd be too tired from the night before to take them!!!
You will find so much support on this site!!! Any time you feel the need to drink, feel free to post here! There's ALWAYS someone here...we have so many time zones represented here!
I'm so glad you're here...pm me anytime you need to.
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