Dee74

I was gonna wait til the year was up, but I look churlish now LOL

congrats Bugs :ghug3

D

tennis71

Thank you for sitting with your patient until the end. Someone did that for my grandfather in a local nursing home. He passed just prior to our nightly visit. It meant the world to hear that someone was with him before we got there.

:praying

BP44

Bugs, I can only share my experience. I have picked up birthday chips when I was not involved in AA. I did not celebrate with a home group cause I didn't have one. The first birthday chip I picked up in October of 1992, and the only place that made sense for me to pick it up was at an AA meeting at the treatment center where I was treated. It was the place where most people knew me. As time went on I quit celebrating birthdays altogether, had a weekend binge in 1993, then a prolonged relapse in 2000 that lasted 4 years. When I came back to AA last March, I dove in, got a sponsor and did the work. I became a part of the group. In doing so, when it came time to celebrate my birthday this past March, it was an incredible experience. I had watched people celebrate with home groups, but had never been a part of that. During this past year I have gone to every month's celebration, and have found every one of them inspirational. We have no less than 10-15 people celebrate a birthday each month, potluck before and a speaker. The message is simple: the great fact is this and nothing less, that we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences that have revolutionized our thinking, our attitude toward life, the world and it's people. If you can share the message of change, you will give hope to a newcomer. I have no idea what your sponsor's agenda is. I would hope that it is to carry a message of hope. Happy Birthday!!!! It is a Big Deal!!!!

dave47

Congrats Bugs, and congrats for doing what your heart tells you is right- as I am sure
you will do in this case, best wishes.

navysteve

I think you need a new sponsor. She showed you the measure of her spirituality by her attitude. I do not do anniversarries myself. I do get coins and do let people know how long "WE" have been sober. I find them to be more about back patting than recovery, the worst type of anniversaries are the one from people who do not go to meetings except for their accomplishment. I personally have many spiritual beliefs which do not fit into what alot of people in AA believe, I am curious as to why you feel that yours are so different that you cannot attend meetings? If you believe AA is not for you, then I understand, but if you think that you are an alcoholic then I hope you reconsider. I quit meetings for almost 7 years. I found that I was selling myself short. If you have spiritual beliefs which are not mainstream, then there will probably be others coming behind you. YOu can show them how you stay sober where others may not be able to. I have met many in AA who had different beliefs, from agnostic, Wiccan, to fundamentalist Christian. Ther realm of the spirit is open to all.

Dee74

I'm glad it works for you, and I have the greatest respect for AA in general - but some of us, like me, believe that AA is not an essential requirement to getting or staying sober Steve

D

navysteve

Did not mean to sound off as if it was. I have said on other posts here that some people just need to stop drinking and that AA is not for everyone. I was addressing Bugsworth, who seems to think that her spiritual beliefs exclude her from AA. I believe that AA is open to all alcoholics who are seeking recovery. If you have a different way, then I am happy for you. I have a friend who got sober through the church. He has never been to a meeting, nor do I suggest that he go. He has something that works and I respect that

Dee74

sorry - early morning here Steve - must have misread it

D

navysteve

No problem. I have been guilty a time or two ( ok, maybe more) of pontification

bugsworth

Thank you Steve for your reply. While I did get my start in aa I have chosen to no longer utilize it in my recovery. I have tried many times to explain how my religious beliefs and life experiences have taught me that my "higher power" does not operate according to any specific set of directions, it would seem futile to try again. My sobriety is and always has been up to me.

I suppose I could have stayed in aa and utilized the support group (fellowship) aspect of the program but it is hard combat those who view you as "around" aa not "in" aa. It was not a decision I took lighty as I realize how serious my addiction to alcohol was. Today life is good, not perfect but the way it was meant to be for right now. I am always open to learning and look forward to my future and everthing it holds.

Will there be times I struggle? Of this I am sure, I have learned much in this last year and I remain confident that the foundation I laid is a strong one.

Again thanks to all for your replies and well wishes!

navysteve

Sure,

But I still don't understand how your spiritual beliefs are so outside AA? I know agnostics with great sobriety. Many in the rooms believe that impossible. I am not trying to promote AA. I do respect your decision.

" Will there be times I struggle? Of this I am sure,"

You don't have to suffer from alcoholism anymore. The twelve steps work for all, but if you believe you have a way that works for you then best wishes. Tell your former sponsor that she should direct her energies toward someone who is willing to do what she did. If she continues to bug you consider a restraining order

bugsworth

LOL No restraining order needed! For what it is worth her aa recovery was not easy. She spent 20 years in aa to just have reached her 5 year anniversary. Not a path I wish to follow.

I no longer suffer from alcoholism, but I like everyone else at some point will be put to the test...only time will tell.

CarolD

Ok...I am curious Bugs
what did you decide to do about your upcoming anniversary?

I hope you will tell us the date so we can

bugsworth

I thought about it most of the weekend and have decided not to celebrate in the traditional aa way. Thats not to say that I won't celebrate LOL!

My anniversary date is June 1st, hard to believe it is right around the corner!

Thanks to all for your kind words and wisdom.

navysteve

Just a note:

Celebrating anniversaries is not an AA tradition. Signing cards/buying balloons and presents do not go on in all AA meetings. Where I am now, on your sobriety date when they ask who has X amount? You stand up, they give you a coin, you sit down. Your friends don't take over a meeting and tell how wonderful you are or how much you have grown, in other words, the meeting continues to be an AA meeting. I don't think that cheapens it or diminshes anything ( except the personal accomplishment which is unfounded).

bugsworth

Steve, I am confused by your last line...

"except the personal accomplishment which is unfounded"

could you explain?

RufusACanal

Some folks in the world believe that personal accomplishment is a detriment to a life dedicated to God. This lopsided humility says that we are nothing and God is everything. I do not hold with this self-righteous philosophy of complete and utter powerlessness and object minimization of the human spirit. The idea that any behavior that could lead to something other than humility is wrong, reeks of a puritanical belief system.

Celebrating the accomplishment of a new life in recovery has been a part of AA since the beginning of Group Number 3, Cleveland.

"There is evidence that early on many people in AA carried personal momentos to remind themselves of the importance of their sobriety. Clarence H. Snyder - "The Home Brewmeister had his last drink on February 11, 1938 and he carried this medallion made from a silver dollar and a watchfob up until just before his death on March 22, 1984. It has been dated back into the mid-1940's, if not before, and the holes represent 46 years of sobriety. Clarence started AA group #3 in Cleveland in 1939, and in the beginning had a higher recovery rate than Bill and Dr. Bob combined."

Courtesy of barefootsworld.net

Tazman53

Hey Bugs just celebrate by not having a drink and smiling!!!! We all celebrate in our own way, there is no wrong or right way if one is sober and happy then what they are doing or not doing is working for them! I have yet to meet one person in or out of AA that maintains thier sobriety the exact same way as someone else.

Congrats again Bugs.

navysteve

I do not believe that I am personally responsible for my sobriety. I had alot of help from an infinite creator. Others can read into that what they wish. I do not feel that it is lopsided humilty to acknowledge that I am sober only through the grace of God ( My belief).

Celebrating AA Anniversaries is a group tradition, not an AA tradition. There is a huge difference. I was not saying it is wrong, but it is obviously not for everyone. I am glad that people in AA celebrate recovery in different ways, unfortunately there are huge cries of angst against those of us who prefer a subtler way. I have a coin in my pocket as well and it says to thine own self be true. The steps brought me to this conclusion, not lopsided humility. I enjoy the spotlight too much. I know where I belong in AA.

I hope that answers your question

RufusACanal

Steve,

...by the way, I was making a general statement. I don't think I mentioned you in my post.

I do believe that I am responsible for my continued sobreity with the support of a loving God and the main difference is accountability; nothing more and nothing less. Have an excellent day!