Ozark

since I posted here. Nothing really has changed. Would like to quit drinking, but just cannot seem to get started. Maybe I don't really want to deep down. Not drinking more, but not less either. Still have a nice manhattan before dinner, and somewhere between a half and a full bottle of wine over 2-3 hours after while reading, watching TV, playing low stakes on line poker etc. My doctor, who I've shared my concerns with, said to just stop after 2 drinks. Funny thing is, I don't really like how I feel after only one drink, so I just keepgoing anyway. That first drink just doesn't feel the way it used to....used to be mellow, but now just makes me feel kind of odd, and really ruins my mood or desire to do anything constructive after dinner. Yet, I still make that manhattan, as if I going to miss something important if I don't. We just reyturned from a vacation in the Carribean. I used to drink a beer with lunch, but after trying one the first day, I did not like the way that made me feel, so stuck to iced tea with lunch rest of week. Isn't it odd that I now don't like the feelings I get from that first drink.....the one that I so looked foreward to every day for 30+ years? So, why the heck can't I just stay away? I just don't know. I really don't want to do AA.....I do not like the relgious overtones to it, although I am not an aetheist.

On another note....I worry about Ken67.....I was following his progress, and I fear for him now.

Signal30

Wow. Lots of people coming back all at once.

Have you lost enough?

Are you willing to do the work it takes to be sober and happy? Half measures avail nothing. You either do it or you don't. Doing a little work is not enough and is not much different than doing nothing at all. It takes a full effort to be physically and emotionally sober. It's that simple.

Tom

PaulL

Your level of drinking looks a lot like mine was. And I can sure relate to your statement above. I could see where alcohol was leading me, and that's not the kind of old guy or grand dad I wanted to be.

I quit 6 weeks ago. I've still got my health and my marriage. I'm looking forward to great things in the future... not the downward spiral from alcohol.

Tazman53

I recall hitting the point where one did not do it anymore, then 2, then 3............. eventually there was not enough to get the job done, there was no pleasure to be had by drinking, but by that time I had to drink to exist, the power of choice was gone, I had to drink.

Many quit long before hitting that point in drinking.... I didn't, I kept thinking that one day that old feeling would come back, it never did, it just seemed to get further and further away.

Ozark I can see where the overtones are for some, but those overtones seen by many dissappeared for me as I worked the steps, I find myself more and more spiritual as the days go by, but do not feel any religous urges or fears. I feel closer to my creator then I ever have in my life, but feel no need for any type of religion.... that is me though.

My drinking had reached the point where I knew I was going to have to get spiritual or die! The main difference I see between religion and spitiuality is religion deals with worshipping some diety to achieve some eternal salvation, where as spirituality deals with today, the present and maintaining contact and guidance from a power greater then myself, no worship or rituals.

BTW my sponsee is agnostic and yet he is still spiritual.

CarolD

Glad you are here with us again...
Welcome Home!

Russelrb

Tazman nailed it. Quit or face the consequences. Be it cirrhois, heart attack, kidney failure, metal disorder, car accident, alchohol will get you before your time. It will usually be painful and slow and often times alone. Simple choice really once you think about it. I had my scare and the good Lord helping, I am never going back to that ugly place. Not to be rude but you doctor sounds like a dolt. Signal30 nailed it, you can't do this half way.

If I can do this for a year and a half, anyone can . Good luck to you and keep seeking help, even if it is just here. That my friend is a very good start.

Ozark

but my doctor is far from a dolt. He made it a point to ask about my drinking last time I was in, and that visit was for an earache. He is trying to see if I can just moderate, and if I cannot, then he says he will help me further. I know the next time I visit him he will step up the inquiries. These kind of comments are absurd....it's no wonder people don't post all the time.

Russelrb

I am very sorry for my remarks. I did not mean to offend you in any manner. Please know that I only want you to live a happy, long, sober life. Many doctors refuse to look at alcohoism as as serious disease (as they may be drinkers themselves). I sincerely hope you get the answers you are looking for. Again, I am sorry.

ken67

Thank you so much for your concern....I'm still here, 25 days sober now.

Best of luck to you....you can do it if you want it.