The hardest thing for me to understand!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
The hardest thing for me to understand!
For me the hardest thing for me to finally understand was that it was not the 10th or 20th drink that got me drunk............................... it was the first drink that got me drunk!!!
Once I have that first drink I have no idea when I will stop, I may stop at 2 or 20, I may not stop until it is all gone, the money is gone, I fall asleep, or I pass out.
It took me 10 years to figure out that the first drink was the one that got me drunk!
Now as long as I avoid that first drink I will never get drunk!
Once I have that first drink I have no idea when I will stop, I may stop at 2 or 20, I may not stop until it is all gone, the money is gone, I fall asleep, or I pass out.
It took me 10 years to figure out that the first drink was the one that got me drunk!
Now as long as I avoid that first drink I will never get drunk!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
You are not alone. Took me a minuet to understand this myself (yeah right).
For years I thought if no one was mad at me my drinking was under control.
The key for me today is knowing that the first drink will lead me back to a place I never want to go again. Key 2 is knowing this will never change.
For years I thought if no one was mad at me my drinking was under control.
The key for me today is knowing that the first drink will lead me back to a place I never want to go again. Key 2 is knowing this will never change.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 51
When you get hit by a TRAIN; it isn't the CABOOSE that kills you.
I just wrote and told my two adult beer drinking sons of my decision to quit once and for all. The way I explained it was that their mom drinks a glass of wine because she appreciates and enjoys the flavor. I drink it to see how much it will relax/numb me. That, I believe is an alcoholic.
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Yeah, it's like that saying 'one beer is too many, and a thousand isn't enough' (or something to that effect).
I remember my uncle, who used AA, saying that a long time ago. Didn't make sense to me then, but it sure does now.
I remember my uncle, who used AA, saying that a long time ago. Didn't make sense to me then, but it sure does now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
It's the first drink that gets me drunk! -----
I gotta say, that might be one of the few 'sayings' that I truly like.....and I always loved the cartoon that went with it.....showing an alcoholic sitting on a barstool and ordering two drinks from the bartender (who looks perplexed), but the alcoholic explains, "I'm an alcoholic; I can't have that first drink; it's the one that gets me drunk, so I'll just start with the second one." ..... as they say on TBS....very funny.....lol
NoelleR
I gotta say, that might be one of the few 'sayings' that I truly like.....and I always loved the cartoon that went with it.....showing an alcoholic sitting on a barstool and ordering two drinks from the bartender (who looks perplexed), but the alcoholic explains, "I'm an alcoholic; I can't have that first drink; it's the one that gets me drunk, so I'll just start with the second one." ..... as they say on TBS....very funny.....lol
NoelleR
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I always wondered why the first one tasted so good but no matter how many I had after it, not one of them tasted good at all.
When I was running a landscaping company, after a day of working in 90 degree weather and come home for just one beer always sounded great. Could never have just the one because I wanted to continue that same feeling of taste and refreshment that only the first one would give.
Was I ever shocked when this one day I had no beer and all that was in the house to drink was...lemonaid.
Needing fluids of some sort, I sucked it up and figured I would have lemonaid before I die of thurst.
WOW!
No one ever told me how refreshing a first glass of lemonaid could taste.
Wow Wow... even a second glass tasted as good as the first. Never had that happened with beer.
I didn't learn that the firrst beer was my proplem till much later but I did learn that there are things that taste better and refresh better then a beer, so when I did seek to stop the alcohol intake, I already knew that I could get by without seeking that first beer...coke/pepsi/lemonaid...all gave me that first glass of refreshment at day's end on a hot summer's day.
Maybe one day I will try plain ole water *LOL*
When I was running a landscaping company, after a day of working in 90 degree weather and come home for just one beer always sounded great. Could never have just the one because I wanted to continue that same feeling of taste and refreshment that only the first one would give.
Was I ever shocked when this one day I had no beer and all that was in the house to drink was...lemonaid.
Needing fluids of some sort, I sucked it up and figured I would have lemonaid before I die of thurst.
WOW!
No one ever told me how refreshing a first glass of lemonaid could taste.
Wow Wow... even a second glass tasted as good as the first. Never had that happened with beer.
I didn't learn that the firrst beer was my proplem till much later but I did learn that there are things that taste better and refresh better then a beer, so when I did seek to stop the alcohol intake, I already knew that I could get by without seeking that first beer...coke/pepsi/lemonaid...all gave me that first glass of refreshment at day's end on a hot summer's day.
Maybe one day I will try plain ole water *LOL*
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: London
Posts: 12
It's very good that you stopped. If you were drunk from just a single drink you were probably suffering from advanced liver disease. There comes a point where just a tiny amount of alcohol makes you drunk because the liver is so damaged. Hopefully you get confirmation that your liver is recovered before returning to sensible drinking mate. All the best.
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
I'm assuming, Erriksen, that Taz wasn't being literal. 
Unless I'm wrong, he's just stressing the idea that if we never take that first drink we can never get drunk. For an alcoholic, after that first drink, all bets are off - the "allergy" is triggered, the damage done.
Unless I'm wrong, he's just stressing the idea that if we never take that first drink we can never get drunk. For an alcoholic, after that first drink, all bets are off - the "allergy" is triggered, the damage done.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi again Erriksen....
Let me remind you of this....your first post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...greetings.html
Have you returned to drinking?
I certainly hope not.
Let me remind you of this....your first post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...greetings.html
Have you returned to drinking?
I certainly hope not.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I'm assuming, Erriksen, that Taz wasn't being literal. Unless I'm wrong, he's just stressing the idea that if we never take that first drink we can never get drunk. For an alcoholic, after that first drink, all bets are off - the "allergy" is triggered, the damage done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: London
Posts: 12
Thanks tellus, I think I understand now - is this an AA mantra type thing? I am not sure what "drunk" means in this context.
Hi Carol, thanks for remembering me after all this time. I haven't posted for a while. I took 6 months away from drinking, after a mildly uncomfortable withdrawal. I decided to drink again while on summer holidays and since then have returned to controlled drinking. Some weeks I have nothing, some weeks I have one or two, some a bit more.
I believe the problem was one of self control. I don't believe the disease model but each to their own.
Like many things, booze taken uncontrolably will cause problems. I just find that steering away from excess has worked so far. Like anyone who is still in this world there is a danger or relapse to excessive drinking behavious but that is of course true of anyone!
Hi Carol, thanks for remembering me after all this time. I haven't posted for a while. I took 6 months away from drinking, after a mildly uncomfortable withdrawal. I decided to drink again while on summer holidays and since then have returned to controlled drinking. Some weeks I have nothing, some weeks I have one or two, some a bit more.
I believe the problem was one of self control. I don't believe the disease model but each to their own.
Like many things, booze taken uncontrolably will cause problems. I just find that steering away from excess has worked so far. Like anyone who is still in this world there is a danger or relapse to excessive drinking behavious but that is of course true of anyone!
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by Erriksen 
I believe the problem was one of self control. I don't believe the disease model but each to their own.
Like many things, booze taken uncontrolably will cause problems. I just find that steering away from excess has worked so far. Like anyone who is still in this world there is a danger or relapse to excessive drinking behavious but that is of course true of anyone!
Like many things, booze taken uncontrolably will cause problems. I just find that steering away from excess has worked so far. Like anyone who is still in this world there is a danger or relapse to excessive drinking behavious but that is of course true of anyone!
Welcome back to SR.
To me it is irrelevant whether or not alcoholism is a disease because the bottom line of it for me is when I enjoyed my drinking I have no control over it and when I tried to control it I got no enjoyment from it. The consequences of my drinking physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially were out of control for me. If you are able to control your drinking then more power to you. I for one can not live like that alcohol has me beat. I prefer not to put my hand back on the stove to see if it is hot, I will just assume from past experience for me that the stove will be hot and I will get burned.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 449
Erikksen, I too believe that not everyone who abuses or has abused alcohol in their past or present lives are alcoholics and suffer from the disease. There are some people who binge drink but aren't truly alcoholics.
However, I know that for a while, I was able to control my drinking. I went a week without alcohol from time to time. Or I'd have one or two a few nights per week. But during that time, I thought about alcohol. I still had to "plan" what I would drink. I was still trying to control it. And because I had to think about it and control it, I know now that really, it was controlling me.
Non-alcoholics don't have to control their drinking. Why? Because it just isn't an issue with them.
I was in serious denial for a long time...
However, I know that for a while, I was able to control my drinking. I went a week without alcohol from time to time. Or I'd have one or two a few nights per week. But during that time, I thought about alcohol. I still had to "plan" what I would drink. I was still trying to control it. And because I had to think about it and control it, I know now that really, it was controlling me.
Non-alcoholics don't have to control their drinking. Why? Because it just isn't an issue with them.
I was in serious denial for a long time...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Erriksen whether alcoholism is a disease or not does not matter to me, I know I am an alcoholic!
I know for a fact after 5 years of repeated attempts at controled drinking that once I have that first drink I can not honestly predict what will happen after I have that first drink, there was a time during those 5 years that I could have a couple of drinks and go for a week or 2 without another drink. But I am an alcoholic, when ever I was not drinking I was thinking about drinking, my 5 years of "Controled" drinking led me to the point where I was not only mentally, but physically addicted to alcohol!!!!
Oh sure before that I would fool myself all the time telling myself over and over again "I got it under control now!"
It took me years to come out of the denial phase of alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic, before I am finished that first drink I am thinking about another drink whether I have that second drink or not!
I know for a fact after 5 years of repeated attempts at controled drinking that once I have that first drink I can not honestly predict what will happen after I have that first drink, there was a time during those 5 years that I could have a couple of drinks and go for a week or 2 without another drink. But I am an alcoholic, when ever I was not drinking I was thinking about drinking, my 5 years of "Controled" drinking led me to the point where I was not only mentally, but physically addicted to alcohol!!!!
Oh sure before that I would fool myself all the time telling myself over and over again "I got it under control now!"
It took me years to come out of the denial phase of alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic, before I am finished that first drink I am thinking about another drink whether I have that second drink or not!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
Boy oh boy, do I ever relate to that. I just 'couldn't' have "just one glass" of wine. It was always two or three or four. And then the bottle was gone, but I wasn't done drinking. So I went out and got another bottle. And before I knew it, the second one was gone too.
So now I just don't buy the first bottle, I don't drink the first glass. It's the only way I can control my drinking - by NOT drinking at all.
And yes, I too found that when I enjoyed my drinking I wasn't controlling it, and when I was controlling it I wasn't enjoying it.
So now I just don't buy the first bottle, I don't drink the first glass. It's the only way I can control my drinking - by NOT drinking at all.
And yes, I too found that when I enjoyed my drinking I wasn't controlling it, and when I was controlling it I wasn't enjoying it.
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