Greetings!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: London
Posts: 12
Greetings!
Hi everyone, I thought I would introduce myself after several months of lurking through this wonderful forum.
I have recently quit drinking, this is day 26 for me. I've been a heavy drinker, or should I say alcoholic, for 17 years now (half of my life). I knew straight away when I started drinking that it affected me differently from my friends. Even at the beginning I always wanted more, I was always the last person to stop drinking in any given session, and even at that early stage I needed emergency alcohol so I could continue my drinking later on in private. All the signs were there. Even when a close member of my family
died of alcoholism a few years into my drinking career I carried on regardless. For the past 7 years or so it's been a steady 2-3 bottles of red wine on average of 5 nights a week. Needless to say, I have suffered severely physically, spiritually, and financially.
I am sure many of you are familiar with the mind games and self-deception involved in moderation attempts. Of course all attempts at this in the past few years have only led to an escalation in my drinking frequency and amounts. The longest I had stopped for was 6 weeks, last year.
Through reading many posts on this forum I came across the extracts of Milam's book 'Under the Influence' and decided to buy it for myself. I had never really accepted the disease model of alcoholism, despite the evidence supporting it. The book presented the case for the disease model very convincingly and I have had a complete rethink of my beliefs.
So, anyway, I stopped completely 26 days ago after a two week binge. I knew it would be a hairy experience and it proved to be just that. Fortunately I did not experience DTs but I was jolly close, experiencing mild hallucinations in addition to the customary sweats and tremors. Strangely, I have not
experienced any cravings for alcohol.
I've had the voice in my head subtly nudging me towards having a drink and suggesting I can moderate - this time! I have accepted I can never drink alcohol again, and it doesn't scare me. Perhaps that is a big step. I know, as I always have, what my future is if I continue to drink. I don't have the feeling of bleakness when I think of a future without alcohol. By reading this forum and other sources, Milam's book, and of course prayer, I feel different this time.
Well i've probably gone on too long now. I hope that by maybe sharing some of my experience I might possibly help someone else, because I have certainly profited from reading other people's posts in here.
I have recently quit drinking, this is day 26 for me. I've been a heavy drinker, or should I say alcoholic, for 17 years now (half of my life). I knew straight away when I started drinking that it affected me differently from my friends. Even at the beginning I always wanted more, I was always the last person to stop drinking in any given session, and even at that early stage I needed emergency alcohol so I could continue my drinking later on in private. All the signs were there. Even when a close member of my family
died of alcoholism a few years into my drinking career I carried on regardless. For the past 7 years or so it's been a steady 2-3 bottles of red wine on average of 5 nights a week. Needless to say, I have suffered severely physically, spiritually, and financially.
I am sure many of you are familiar with the mind games and self-deception involved in moderation attempts. Of course all attempts at this in the past few years have only led to an escalation in my drinking frequency and amounts. The longest I had stopped for was 6 weeks, last year.
Through reading many posts on this forum I came across the extracts of Milam's book 'Under the Influence' and decided to buy it for myself. I had never really accepted the disease model of alcoholism, despite the evidence supporting it. The book presented the case for the disease model very convincingly and I have had a complete rethink of my beliefs.
So, anyway, I stopped completely 26 days ago after a two week binge. I knew it would be a hairy experience and it proved to be just that. Fortunately I did not experience DTs but I was jolly close, experiencing mild hallucinations in addition to the customary sweats and tremors. Strangely, I have not
experienced any cravings for alcohol.
I've had the voice in my head subtly nudging me towards having a drink and suggesting I can moderate - this time! I have accepted I can never drink alcohol again, and it doesn't scare me. Perhaps that is a big step. I know, as I always have, what my future is if I continue to drink. I don't have the feeling of bleakness when I think of a future without alcohol. By reading this forum and other sources, Milam's book, and of course prayer, I feel different this time.
Well i've probably gone on too long now. I hope that by maybe sharing some of my experience I might possibly help someone else, because I have certainly profited from reading other people's posts in here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by Erriksen 
Hi everyone, I thought I would introduce myself after several months of lurking through this wonderful forum.
Needless to say, I have suffered severely physically, spiritually, and financially.
I am sure many of you are familiar with the mind games and self-deception involved in moderation attempts.
So, anyway, I stopped completely 26 days ago after a two week binge. I knew it would be a hairy experience and it proved to be just that. Fortunately I did not experience DTs but I was jolly close, experiencing mild hallucinations in addition to the customary sweats and tremors. Strangely, I have not experienced any cravings for alcohol.
I've had the voice in my head subtly nudging me towards having a drink and suggesting I can moderate - this time! I have accepted I can never drink alcohol again, and it doesn't scare me. Perhaps that is a big step. I know, as I always have, what my future is if I continue to drink. I don't have the feeling of bleakness when I think of a future without alcohol. By reading this forum and other sources, Milam's book, and of course prayer, I feel different this time.
Well i've probably gone on too long now. I hope that by maybe sharing some of my experience I might possibly help someone else, because I have certainly profited from reading other people's posts in here.
Needless to say, I have suffered severely physically, spiritually, and financially.
I am sure many of you are familiar with the mind games and self-deception involved in moderation attempts.
So, anyway, I stopped completely 26 days ago after a two week binge. I knew it would be a hairy experience and it proved to be just that. Fortunately I did not experience DTs but I was jolly close, experiencing mild hallucinations in addition to the customary sweats and tremors. Strangely, I have not experienced any cravings for alcohol.
I've had the voice in my head subtly nudging me towards having a drink and suggesting I can moderate - this time! I have accepted I can never drink alcohol again, and it doesn't scare me. Perhaps that is a big step. I know, as I always have, what my future is if I continue to drink. I don't have the feeling of bleakness when I think of a future without alcohol. By reading this forum and other sources, Milam's book, and of course prayer, I feel different this time.
Well i've probably gone on too long now. I hope that by maybe sharing some of my experience I might possibly help someone else, because I have certainly profited from reading other people's posts in here.
Welcome to the rest of your life. I believe that you've been blessed to be able to recognize some of the most important aspects of alcoholism. We play mind games with ourselves all the time. Many times after we've been sober for years. I too was blessed when I had no cravings since I made a decision to get help over 20 years ago. Your ability to pray and the belief that you're paying to someone or something puts you in a very good position to receive help.
My suggestion would be that you consider attending an AA meeting. No one there will diagnose you as being an alcoholic. You will find many folks who've been exactly where you are now. Your desire to share your experience is desperately needed at AA. Helping other people is the goal we set for ourselves when we begin the program of AA.
I would caution you that after 26 days you may be experiencing a sense of power over alcohol. If you are, be very careful. Our disease is always waiting to jump on us when we least expect it. Good luck and "Keep coming back."
. Welcome to the forum and congratulations on 26 days.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Thanks for sharing Erriksen...Welcome!
I too used the info in "Under The Influence"
to quit drinking.
I have not had a drink since I read it in 89.
I also use God and AA to live a fantastic life.
Blessings...
I too used the info in "Under The Influence"
to quit drinking.
I have not had a drink since I read it in 89.
I also use God and AA to live a fantastic life.
Blessings...
Take it like a bear...
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the den
Posts: 348
Originally Posted by Erriksen
I've had the voice in my head subtly nudging me towards having a drink and suggesting I can moderate - this time!
I can't moderate any drink or drug of abuse, a lot of foods and some types of sex. I'm an addict.
But, hey, that's just me...
Stagebear
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: London
Posts: 12
Thanks for all your advice and encouragment.
As far as feeling a power over alcohol - I have found this to be a trap in the past and hopefully I am much more aware of it now. One of the things that can be taken from lapses in abstinence is that we learn from them and hopefully use these hard earned lessons in future. Sometimes I enjoy the apparent power I have over the voices telling me I can drink but at the same time have to remind me how much of a deadly matter it all is.
I have considered AA and can see how much it has helped many people, but decided against it for the time being.
As far as feeling a power over alcohol - I have found this to be a trap in the past and hopefully I am much more aware of it now. One of the things that can be taken from lapses in abstinence is that we learn from them and hopefully use these hard earned lessons in future. Sometimes I enjoy the apparent power I have over the voices telling me I can drink but at the same time have to remind me how much of a deadly matter it all is.
I have considered AA and can see how much it has helped many people, but decided against it for the time being.
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi Erricksen, glad you got back to us,
I know how you feel about not craving alcohol. However, on the 30th day I had wicked cravings and mental anguish, I didn't drink, and I have my family at SR here to thank for that........
I wish you continued sobriety...hope3
I know how you feel about not craving alcohol. However, on the 30th day I had wicked cravings and mental anguish, I didn't drink, and I have my family at SR here to thank for that........
I wish you continued sobriety...hope3
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