Sportster

Why is it that I can drink way too much wine one night, get up the next day and say yeah, I'm going to go to a meeting and I'm putting the drink down. A day goes by, I start to feel better and then the next day I'm pouring another glass of wine. Why I keep doing it even when I really don't want to, and I've been doing it for forty years, just makes me crazy I guess.
No crime, no drama, nobody getting hurt except I always feel like crap and I am depressed about it.
OK so there is probably a million or more alcoholics who feel just the way I do. Maybe we need to form a political action committee and get some favorable legislation like free thirty day trips to a Carribean spa or something.
Just kidding, I don't want anything except some control over my life.
Thanks for listening,
John
Sportser is just something I ride.

nandm

Definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." I say that only because there came a point in my drinking that I was at a very similiar place to what you describe. I could not understand the insanity of what I was doing. I would set out not to drink but yet by that evening my mind was heading toward "but one or two would not be bad", "this time I won't drink so much", "I just need to drink beer instead of wine", and the excuses just would keep coming until I picked up once again.
Sick and tired of being sick and tired? That would perfectly describe me at the end of my drinking.

lol, your too funny that was a good one. I've never been to the Carribean. Sounds like fun. Guess we need to start looking for some alcoholic legistators.

What a feeling. It is so ironic that when we start drinking in our lives we never realize until we have lost that control of our lives that it was even possible to do so. There are many ways to gain your life back. Check out the recovery programs listing in the stickies at the top of this forum. Lots of different programs out there. AA happens to be the one that worked for me. Today I have my life back. I had given up hope that it was even possible.

Loved that as 1500 Vulcan is just something I ride...

CarolD

John...

Have you read this link?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

reed

Creature of habit I suppose...

Why does the sun rise? and are the stars just pinholes in the curtain of night? Is the wind the breath of God?

Hmmmmmm.

Next day you decide your finished with drinking go to an AA meeting & get involved, perhaps this might help. Get commited to not drinking.

sugErspun

Sportster,

Do you think that the control you are seeking is something that you can think yourself into getting?

I know about not being able to control my drinking, or even being able to stay stopped.

What is your experience with attempting to quit?

Cathy31

I think it's called the power of addiction. I do know that if you follow through and pick a date, perhaps phone someone to meet you outside the meeting so you don't back down - and just go to the meeting you can acheive all you want - and so much more...good luck! JUST DO IT! In your sportster!
Cathy31
x

Slowbriety

I did that because I was INSANE. Not to say that Im not insane now, just not as much.

Sportster

Every time I have a short time sober I begin to delude myself into thinking I can be a social drinker. I did quit once for ten years, went to a lot of AA meetings in the first year or so then drifted away thinking I didn't need the meetings anymore. I gradually picked up again because afterall two glasses of wine a day is supposed to be good for you. Hahaha
I have been going to a meeting every Friday night since last summer but I haven't joined the group, and haven't felt the magic yet, and I'm still drinking. I'm reluctant to give in to the whole thing and Im still not comfortable enough with this group to allow them into my life for anything more than that hour I spend there. I like to go there and leave it there.
Today is another quit day for me. I'm thinking I must give in and admit to myself that I cannot drink at all. I know, one day at a time, or even one hour, minute at a time. I think I'll just put it in Gods hands and let Him take care of it. I was brought up to believe that God is everywhere and is even within me, so while leaving it in His hands I will also take a look inside for some strength.
Thanks for listening,
John

least

My story is sort of the same. I'd vow to stop drinking and find myself pouring yet another glass of wine. I finally quit 11 days ago and every time I'm tempted to buy a bottle I remind myself that I CANNOT drink like "normal" people. I cannot afford the money spent on wine and I cannot afford to destroy my 11 days sober time as I'm not going to start all over with withdrawal and the agony it brings. I CANNOT afford to pick up that first drink. I just keep telling myself that and so far, it's kept me from picking up. You can do it. Just consult your doctor for a safe detox and take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Best of luck to you!:ghug3

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi John,

This is what worked for me.

I'm glad that you are here..

Karen

RufusACanal

John,

Acceptance, willingness and surrender would help. You have the experience and the answers, why not follow through. It really isn't anything more than being full of booze and asking a Power Greater than you to take your life and do with it as He would. You have been to meetings where folks have changed their lives. Make a decision and get to work, it's just that simple. Best to you.

lostmdboy

You sound a lot like me too, but I really began to drink a lot. Blacking out almost every night. I really feel that to "feel the magic" of a meeting you need to be sober, and just do not go. Go early, and leave late. Help clean up, and yalk to some people. Then get a sponcer, and work the steps. In AA things just do not happen, because you kinda want them. The happen because you work for them.

Tazman53

I will back what the lost one shared, there are folks who get and stay sober just by going to meetings and not drinking. My first 2 months after I got out of detox I thought that was all I needed plus a sponsor. I was going to a minimum of a meeting a day at that time, I was calling my sponsor every day and thought I was doing good, then the stinking thinking started back up and drinking again started sounding better and better, I came very close to drinking again.

Well fortunantly some of the stuff the old timers in the meetings were shareing seemed like a darn good idea to try. They said the best shot at not only long term sobriety, but the serenity and peace spoken of in the rooms lay in working the steps with a sponsor. In chapter 5 "How it Works" it says "Half measures availed us nothing." started to stand out like a sore thumb to me!

Just going to meeting and having a sponsor did not lead to the magic for me, I am like the alcoholics described in the BB, I needed to thouroughly follow thier path, and that meant working the steps with a sponsor.

Once I started to work the steps with my sponsor the "Magic" started to happen for me, then the Miracle happened for me, thanks to me working the ENTIRE suggested program my obsession for alcohol was lifted. For alcoholics like me the statement "Half measures availed us nothing." holds very true.

There are folks who need nothing more then meetings, I know folks personally with 20+ years sober due to nothing more then a ton of meetings, many of these folks have been going to daily meetings for 20+ years. Working the ENTIRE suggested program has allowed me to be able to happily be able to live life on lifes terms happily sober and now not going to meetings every day.

Meetings are but a small part of the suggested program, are half measures availing you nothing? Might be a good idea to try the whole suggested program, then less then half of it.

sugErspun

Half measures don't even get you half, they get you nothing.

Nice post Taz.

CarolD

You know what to do because you did it before...

I felt blocked from God when I was drinking.
My miracles began to happen once I quit.

Blessings

Signal30

Well it's kinda simple.

You won't drink if you really work the program. There's more to AA than quitting drinking and going to meetings. The meat and potatoes of the AA program is working the 12 steps. If you have the willingness, you will be willing or want to go to any length to get it. Perhaps you haven't hit your bottom yet. Maybe it will take you to lose something to find the willingness.

Or maybe not. Only you can decide. You are the one who has to walk the path.


Tom

Freedom1990

John, greetings from another former sportster rider

My sponsor usually reminds me that 'why' isn't as important as is 'what am I going to do about it now'.

I 'thought' I could be a social drinker after 4 years in recovery. Needless to say my experiment failed miserably, and I was soon more out of control than ever before. The mental anguish in between drunks was the worst.

I know I've got another drunk on my punch ticket, but I'm not going to gamble that I have another sobering up on it. I'll stay sober just for today, thanks!

msh58

i thought i'd quit when i no longer had cravings for alcohol. Like one day it would just end.

CarolD

msh58....Welcome back...