Jfanagle

In addition to all those others for whom AA has been the path that returned our lives to us, I have to add my two cents worth of observations and experience.

As a very confirmed alcoholic it was only when I realized that my own "solutions or self designed programs" weren't sufficient and in fact seemed doomed to failure, that there began to be actual recovery. I still WISH that I was so smart and unique that AA and those silly steps weren't necessary. I also wish that I could assemble things without following those "silly" written directions, but I can't do that either. It just seems to work better when I follow what others have found works.

Believe me I am not poking fun at anyone, I really do wish I could have done it all by myself, but after awhile I just threw in the towel and got in line with those who were sober and here I am today 8 plus years later happily grazing with the rest of the sober, healthy, and seemingly happy sheep.

I know it works, not always why that is, but I have found that I am sober and my life is very nice. Therefore I have quit asking why, just grateful for AA and its people and the steps. We always have room for one more member of the flock.

Baa,

Jon

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Those "silly" steps have saved my life.

You are at the end stage. Do you realize how lucky you are to be alive right now? Honestly, what do you have to lose?

All the best...

Karen

nandm

The question I have to ask is
What is more silly, working the silly little steps and applying the program OR continuing the insanity and continue to go farther down the toilet?

Music

I wonder how many of us, if told by our doctor that we had cancer, and that if we would just work these 12 steps, the cancer would go into remission, would turn to the doctor and say something really intelligent like, "nawww! I think I'll go home and try my own cure?" When the Big Book says this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful, we can take that to the bank.

mysz

hi mike mass

i do understand that i am not managing and this is why i am going back to NA meetings (one tonight actually)

lovingseren

Many people work different programs, find the one that works for you and work it.

In my group, "Women for Sobriety", we have women who have been sober for decades, and some who are brand new to sobriety.

Sobriety and recovery are nurtured by our attitude and our thinking, keep an open mind, listen to others, learn from others, don't allow others to define who you are.

Good Luck to you.

Seren

Good for you for going to NA, I always got a lot out of their meetings.

mysz

thank you all so much for your thoughts and advice. i still think NA and AA is not for me, but i am going to a meeting (NA) tonight. my friend and i are starting SMART recovery groups this week. this appeals to me because there is no 12 steps and it's more interactive. actually this is something i wanted to ask about - my friend is staying with me for a couple of weeks before he goes to townsville to his girlfriend. he gave up heroin about 8 months ago and is now taking suboxone, but he is using alcohol as a substitute along with xanax. this is very convenient for me. he's not very interested in my health problems and likes the fact i can drink with him.

lovingseren

You have every right to ask this man not to drink in your home.
Sometimes we have to set boundaries to keep ourselves safe.
If he does not respect your choice, then ask him to go elsewhere.

I have many friends who use Smart Recovery.:ghug3

Good for you for making healthy choices for YOU.

Seren

mysz

yeah, but having him around gives me a good excuse. it's really hard. i normally live alone and i was doing brilliantly for a while. having him around kind of gives me permission.... i know that is bad

lovingseren

So you are making a choice to keep drinking then Mysz.

mysz

i guess that's what it seems like. but i am happiest when i am healthy, sober, excercising..... i can do this without problems in the bush with my parents, but i struggle when i am alone in the city and/or with a friend who drinks a lot.

lovingseren

If he is a very good friend, he will not drink around you if you ask him not to.

Since he was a counsellor, I would hope he would hear you.

Our focus must be on our own sobriety, we cannot fix others, we can only fix ourselves.

Seren

CarolD

Why not ask your friend to leave
take away his key
and you go for an extended visit with your parents?

That would at least give your liver a break.

You have a limited time to llive.
It's a very painful degrading death.

Get serious and live clean and sober.
That's my advice.

mysz

i am more than welcome at my parents' place (as long as i don't drink), i can stay there for months if i want ........ but i want to prove that i can do it alone! i'm 33 years old - i should be able to manage. i have a problem with this: i want to prove to the world that i'm capable

lovingseren

........Mysz You are still drinking, what is that proving?

Please take a step back and look at how you are thinking, debating and delaying ceasing to drink.
You have already told us you have a deadly liver disease and have been bleeding out, you are only 33, I have seen people like you die...please Fight for Your Life.

I believe we all need support in ceasing to drink, be it a program, a lot of really supportive friends, or family.
Doing this alone doesn't seem to work for a lot of us.

Take all the help you can, you might very well die on "your own".
hugs Seren

CAPTAINZING2000

I try and help other's in the AA program.

mysz

i am going to my parents' in the mountains a week from now. from all you guys say, i might stay a week. i trust my friend with the keys and he has to be close to the chemist where he picks up and he would die without the internet (i'm lucky - my dad is an isp) this is difficult because i thought he woud help me, with the experience he has.

CarolD

Let's all chill please.

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Thanks Everyone