alex7373

I drank a lot in my 20's. From like 24 to 29 i drank just about every night. Sometimes just a couple beers, sometimes i'd drink til i passed out. I didn't know if i was an alcoholic and i didn't want to find out, so I just kept drinking. It just became a routine - hit the bar on a friday night, drink beer and watch football on sunday, grab a six pack of beer on the way home from work on tuesday.

when i turned 30 i went to the doctor and my doc said if i keep drinking the way i was i would get fatty liver. So i figured it was time to tone down the partying. It did take a tole on my body. I went from being in great shape to looking bloated and tired all the time.

so i just stopped drinking altogether. The first weekend was kinda tough but after that I didn't crave alcohol at all. I went about 4 months without drinking. Instead of going to the bar i'd go to the gym. I totally changed my lifestyle.

then this past christmas at dinner i had a glass of wine. I guess i wanted to prove to myself that I could have a drink and I wouldn't fall back into the same routine. And I passed my own test. I had a couple glasses of wine and that was it, I didn't start craving alcohol the next day or anything. On new years day I had 2 beers while watching football with my dad. The me in my 20's would have probably polished off 8 beers.

I don't crave alcohol like i did in my 20's. I'm much more into fitness and healthy living now. Which makes me wonder..was I ever an alcoholic? During my twenties I couldn't go without boozing up. Now the idea of drinking beer while i watch tv is so foreign to me but if i'm out at dinner i'll order a beer with my steak.

In my 20's to deal with stress i'd get drunk. Now if i want to deal with stress i'll go to the gym.

i'm still trying to figure out why during my 20's i was so addicted to alcohol and now i am not

is it possible to abuse alchoho at some point in your life but not be an alcoholic?

Tommyh

for some people probally so...but I was not one of them

AndrewBeen

For me it took a long time to understand what was happening to me. When I was in my 30s I might have written a post very much like yours. It wasn't until I was in 40s that I realized how powerful and longterm the problem was. I know I am an alcoholic but it took me decades to realize it. Maybe you are different, and if so you are indeed fortunate. If not, the sooner you discover it the better.

CarolD

Welcome to :SR!

It seems you are doing well in your lifestyle.
Why concern yourself with the past?
Congratulations!

Tazman53

You betcha, I have had friends over theyears that were party animals in their youth, they drank to get drunk and party, unlike me as they matured they backed off or in some cases basically quit. I was a different story.

I must say I do find it odd you are here though, do you think a lot about drinking even though you don't?

sugErspun

Absolutely,

The alcoholic cannot stop or moderate because they want to.

In AA there is the example of the heavy drinker - who on the outside may appear to be alcoholic and may even need medical attention (rehab, detox) to get his life back on line. But if outside circumstance (i.e. warning of a Doctor) becomes 'operative' - they can stop or MODERATE....alcoholics cannot do either.

That is my opinion by the way..(happens to be outlined clearly in Alcoholics Anonymous as well).

alex7373

I don't think about drinking day to day but on a friday after a long days work the thought of a beer sounds really good. I told myself I wouldn't drink by myself anymore and that when i did have a beer it would be in the company of friends and in moderation. So I'm staying true to that.

There is a lot of guilt when it comes to my heavy drinking in my 20's though. I feel like i wasted a lot of time and ruined some relationships not to mention did some damage to my body.

When i decided to stop the heavy drinking i looked at myself in the mirror one morning and i took a really good look and i didnt like what i saw.... the bloated belly and face, skinny arms,just unhealthy looking.

so yes i think about drinking a lot but i'm also determined to get healthy and right now that's what is motivating me.

barb dwyer

what bballdad said.

Mandarina

When my parents got divorced they both started drinking heavily. They had both been moderate drinkers before their marriage fell appart.

My dad drank quite a lot for a few years, but when he settled into his new life he stopped abusing alchohol and only had a drink now and then on occation.

My mom on the other hand spiralled downwards and out of control. She just kept on drinking more and more, getting DUIs and getting into all kinds of trouble. She finally went into rehab and has been sober for seven years now (go mom!)

Anyway, I always thought of it kind of like depression. Some people have clinical depression, that is not connected to the way their life is going, but to the chemistry in their brain. Others suffer from situational depression that is caused by some kind of crisis in their life. My father used alchohol to escape the pain he felt because of the divorce and when that pain finally subsided he stopped drinking eccessively. But my mother had this phychological and physical reaction to alchohol that could have been triggered by anything and would have destroyed her if she hadn't quit completely.

So my opinion (I'm not an expert) is that people can go through periods where they drink too much without neccesarily being alchoholics. If you are being honest about not craving alchohol and having no trouble drinking in moderation, you're probably one of them. If you find that your drinking starts being a problem again, we'll still be here.

Best wishes.

barb dwyer

You know you have a problem ... when you have a problem ... stopping.

hughs dad

I agree, just because you have abused alcohol in the past does not mean you are an alcoholic. It's possible for a non-alcoholic to get drunk and it's possible for an alcoholic to just have two beers one night. Only you can determine if alcohol is making you life un-managable. It sounds like you are doing great.

Best of luck...

zoomer

IN the end of my drinking I too only drank about 2 beers a night. I was once told that I abused alcohol and that I was not an alcohlic. To play it safe I threw in the towel and don't drink at all because I never knew when I was going to step over the line. I hated the hanger overs that is why I only drank 2 a night. I drank a lot in my teens and early 20s and was sober for a number of years (going to treatment and going to AA. When I was told I was not an alcoholic, it just gave me permission to drink. And I drank. I drank for a number of years (not like when I was in my teens),but drank when I should not of. Anyway after all the knolage I had with AA and treatment it just messed up my drinking and my mind,so again to play it safe I do not drink with the help of AA. It's been 3 and a half years and I know without some support, I'd still be drinking something because I could justify it all just being an abuser. Most people in AA have stories worse than mine and drank a lot more,but you never know when you can cross over from being an abuser to real deal. The only requerment to AA is the desire to stop drinking. I use to be able to stop for months at a time,but I'd go back and have a bender. I never blacked out,never got a DWI,but I put myself in dangerous situations when I was younger and even drank a couple of beers at night when I was pregnant. Today I want a sober and healthier life style. I don't give myself or let people give me permission to drink because as far as I'm concerned I drank enough in my life time to give up drinking. I remember in my late teens drink like 15 or so drinks a night along with a black beauty or coke to keep me going. I did't do it every night nor every weekend,but I was a party girl and looked forward to my party. In my mid 30s I would drink 4 to 6 and have a hangover and want to sleep the day away. I never drank more than that except once and I threw up. I guess the question could be "am I giving my self permission to drink even though I'm not an alcoholic." Coming here you maybe justifying wanting to drink again or just seeing what people may say so you can drink again. I do miss drinking at times,but it's just safer if I don't drink. It's easy to forget too why I don't drink,that is why I go to AA and to websites to remind myself. Just reading people's bad reactions to alcohol is enough to keep me sober. I never want to exspericance somethings that people have to go through. I'm greatful that I never had a black out,never had DTs, just nervous breakdowns that drinking did not help. In my younger days though I did miss a lot of work from hangovers,today I'm proud to say that I can hold down a job and never once called in sick from drinking. We have a saying in AA "but there for the grace of God go I". You just never know when you may cross over...

Pick-a-name

I have lots of curiosity about situations like this. My 30y marriage just ended because my exH's drinking was causing major problems in our family/marriage.

Throughout our 30yr he has "ebbed and flowed" on the drinking,but never stopped completely. Many years it was hardly"there" and he started,ran and sold a very profitable business,etc.,etc......actually the times his drinking was least noticible,was when all his energies,etc were being poured into work. (fwiw,looking back for the kids and me,it was very similar to the drinking days,until his mood changes,etc increased). Either way he was "checked-out" from us lots of the time.

At one time he recognized he was drinking "too much" and decided to try the healthier route...add the O'Doul's....that became "lite beer"......etc.,etc. Things went along pretty well until there was a major stressor of some kind,and the drinking "kicked up". Our son's heart surgery at 17y and his mother's death seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back this last time. He walked out of the house and divorced me.

He is still drinking.....wine now,that he buys by the case (for the price break ). No DUI's (yet),rarely drinks in public still (that I am aware of) but his judgement is off and his personal life is in a turmoil,to say the least. Do you call that alcoholism? (I do,fwiw)

I'm curious to hear what others think. ExH is a very self-controlled person who is spinning out of control but still trying to keep the facade that he is "in charge" of his life,etc. Maybe he is.........and even though he can still stop drinking at a certain point each night (he has his drinking "rules"),it seems like it is not so much that it does not and will not happen, but it just has not happened,yet. jmho

p.s. he comes from a family of a's who are also professionals who also have other "explainations" for their "breakdowns",Rx addictions,etc.

(hope this is not "off-topic" nor a hijack.....I wonder about this,too. I spent a few years partying in college in the 70's but notice many of my old friends still continue to equate getting high with a "safistication and grown-up fun"). btw;I wonder about myself at times,so my solution is to not drink. I also stopped smoking years ago,for the same reason.


I guess my main question would be..........is it worth the risk? If it is really not a "big deal",why would I want to take the chance that it COULD be a problem? There in lies the crux of the matter,imho. In an non-recovering alcoholic,(not saying you are or are not) that "option" of NO ALCOLHOL is really not an option and that seems to be where the "what is" and "what isn't" to our own thinking begins.