17 days, but tomorrow may be difficult.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Douglas, MA
Posts: 43
17 days, but tomorrow may be difficult.
Ok so here I am at 17 days sober...yay for me. I've been good up til now. Once again went out last night to my buddies, really didn't expect a hugh party but there low and behold before I knew it there was at least 40 people all drinking. I kept my cool, and stayed sober, wondering I was still up at 6:30 in the morning with all the drunk the people. I twas pretty damn fun though.
My concern is how I am going to handle tomorrow. Football is my life, and up until 17 days ago football and drinking went hand in hand. Tomorrow however I am going to the Patriots game. This is going to be about 60,000 people there, and i'd say more than half will be drinking. I don't know how I will be able to control myself in the playoff football atmosphere. I guess I just go and see where I end up. One way or the other I'll have to deal with my actions.
My concern is how I am going to handle tomorrow. Football is my life, and up until 17 days ago football and drinking went hand in hand. Tomorrow however I am going to the Patriots game. This is going to be about 60,000 people there, and i'd say more than half will be drinking. I don't know how I will be able to control myself in the playoff football atmosphere. I guess I just go and see where I end up. One way or the other I'll have to deal with my actions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
If you are concerned and are truly serious about your recovery, I would reconsider going to the game if you know it will be overwhelming. I know this isn't what you want to hear but I know my sponsor would say this to me (and he has, although not a football game, it was a social function). I don't put anything in front of my sobriety, not football, not women, not my job. I can't afford to mess around with this anymore.
I can put myself in your shoes and I do understand that this is not what you want to hear, it is an option that would help you maintain sobriety.
I can put myself in your shoes and I do understand that this is not what you want to hear, it is an option that would help you maintain sobriety.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Pats ...
Whatever you are doing when you are hanging out with drunks...
just continue to do.
I know you are flirting with danger when you go to
these slippery places ...but you have to decide how much your
willing to do for your new healthy life.
Keep in focus....remember your de tox misery
Whatever you are doing when you are hanging out with drunks...
just continue to do.
I know you are flirting with danger when you go to
these slippery places ...but you have to decide how much your
willing to do for your new healthy life.
Keep in focus....remember your de tox misery
Banned Troll
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 97
Well first of all I know your going to the game no matter what. That’s what I would do and that’s what my sponsor would tell me to do. Actually my sponsor would ask if I had an extra ticket.
Guess what that’s perfectly ok because as a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous I no longer have to avoid alcohol. I was going to get into the Big Book quotes but there are just too many that make reference to meeting alcohol head on and not avoiding it. You know if you go to this game with the intent of watching the Patriots and enjoying some football then you’re going to be ok. If your intent is to go watch the Patriots and sneak some pleasure out of the atmosphere your already drunk.
Enjoy the game, I saw the Red Sox slaughter the Yankees and I didn’t need any help from the beer cart or the bars that surround Fenway Park.
Guess what that’s perfectly ok because as a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous I no longer have to avoid alcohol. I was going to get into the Big Book quotes but there are just too many that make reference to meeting alcohol head on and not avoiding it. You know if you go to this game with the intent of watching the Patriots and enjoying some football then you’re going to be ok. If your intent is to go watch the Patriots and sneak some pleasure out of the atmosphere your already drunk.
Enjoy the game, I saw the Red Sox slaughter the Yankees and I didn’t need any help from the beer cart or the bars that surround Fenway Park.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Wow - to say, I guess I'd just go and see where I'd end up? That's way too risky for me.
Staying sober is hard, and I know I could not be around people who were drinking for quite a long time after I stopped drinking.
I wish you well.
Staying sober is hard, and I know I could not be around people who were drinking for quite a long time after I stopped drinking.
I wish you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Douglas, MA
Posts: 43
Football is first and for most in my life during the 6 months or so that it is played, so to even to think about not going to the game isn't even a thought. I'm gonna try and do my best to not drink, but this is not something I can guarantee. My dad probably won't allow me to seeing how he was the one that brought me to the ER while I was going through withdrawels, so that alone will probably keep me from drinking....I wish myself luck, as game time is drawing near.
(gotta sneak this in) Go Pats!!
(gotta sneak this in) Go Pats!!
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 773
I would go to the game. Perhaps the other posters warning you not to go are just jealous that you have a ticket! The Big Book even states: "that as long as we are spiritual fit, we can go wherever we want." The AFC playoff game IS a big deal and to stay home would be foolish.
Tiburon
Tiburon
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
*pointedly ignores Tiburon's remark*
Pats -
the deal is - what do YOU think you're going to do?
when you get there, I mean.
you don't have to tell me.
be honest.
put ducks ... in their rows, here.
how important *is* sobriety to you?
now weigh that ...
with what I *know* you already *know* is probably going to be your choices youre'going to make.
Pats -
the deal is - what do YOU think you're going to do?
when you get there, I mean.
you don't have to tell me.
be honest.
put ducks ... in their rows, here.
how important *is* sobriety to you?
now weigh that ...
with what I *know* you already *know* is probably going to be your choices youre'going to make.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm all for living life and road-testing sobriety...but 17 days in? Sheesh.
...and statements like
...
sound awfully like an excuse in waiting to me Pats.
It's not up to your Dad or anyone else - if you want this, you do the work. All times all situations. Period. We pour the stuff down our throats. We *can* guarantee it, if we really want it.
I'm afeared - prove me wrong
D
...and statements like
'I'm gonna try and do my best to not drink, but this is not something I can guarantee'
sound awfully like an excuse in waiting to me Pats.
It's not up to your Dad or anyone else - if you want this, you do the work. All times all situations. Period. We pour the stuff down our throats. We *can* guarantee it, if we really want it.
I'm afeared - prove me wrong
D
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Last Pats game I was at...I did not drink and we had one really great tailgate party before and after.
You don't need drink. If a desire to drink hits you... work through it a moment at a time if need be. The moment will pass.
No first sips or only one beer. By saying no to a sip or just one beer...you will do well.
My last beer was never a problem...it was always that first one.
Just think... you will be sober and remembering every moment of every play of a game that will go down in history... Pats 18-0 and on to the Super Bowl
You don't need drink. If a desire to drink hits you... work through it a moment at a time if need be. The moment will pass.
No first sips or only one beer. By saying no to a sip or just one beer...you will do well.
My last beer was never a problem...it was always that first one.
Just think... you will be sober and remembering every moment of every play of a game that will go down in history... Pats 18-0 and on to the Super Bowl
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
thanks Best -
which is my point -
'can I DO this?'
how bad ?
that's the kind of stuff you ask yerself.
and -
who am I going to be around?
is that a factor?
because I'm praying for a nuking, myself -
an all out upset suprise blow the pats off the field upset, myself.
which is my point -
'can I DO this?'
how bad ?
that's the kind of stuff you ask yerself.
and -
who am I going to be around?
is that a factor?
because I'm praying for a nuking, myself -
an all out upset suprise blow the pats off the field upset, myself.
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Would I go to the game? Absolutely! And I know there is no way your not going, short of Mars hitting your house tonight.
In your shoes, knowing some of your story, here's what I would do.
Find a friend your going with that doesn't drink and ask them to be your "sober buddy". Or ask someone that isn't really drinker to stay sober with you. Ever have a swim buddy at summer camp - same thing. I know where your at and you know where I'm at - that way no one sinks.
Did you attend an AA meeting? If you did and you picked up a chip - put in your pocket and take it to the game. Pull it out and look at it every 10 minutes. Don't have a chip - print this off and keep it your pocket. A gentle reminder that there is no reason to blow how far you come in the last few weeks.
I want to see a post (sober) from you Sunday night, congratulating San Diego on a victory!
Go Chargers!
In your shoes, knowing some of your story, here's what I would do.
Find a friend your going with that doesn't drink and ask them to be your "sober buddy". Or ask someone that isn't really drinker to stay sober with you. Ever have a swim buddy at summer camp - same thing. I know where your at and you know where I'm at - that way no one sinks.
Did you attend an AA meeting? If you did and you picked up a chip - put in your pocket and take it to the game. Pull it out and look at it every 10 minutes. Don't have a chip - print this off and keep it your pocket. A gentle reminder that there is no reason to blow how far you come in the last few weeks.
I want to see a post (sober) from you Sunday night, congratulating San Diego on a victory!
Go Chargers!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 94
I too am a huge football fan. If I thought that there was even a remote chance that I could pick up at a game, I wouldn't go.
You have TV...it's warmer, better view, more comfortable seats.. oh and no alcohol.
You have other choices.
You have TV...it's warmer, better view, more comfortable seats.. oh and no alcohol.
You have other choices.
Banned Troll
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 97
Big Book Pg 132
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
Big Book Pg 103
Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!
Big Book Pg100 101 102
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
Big Book Pg 146
You may need to encourage him to play once in a while.
Big Book Pg 123
Perhaps they created the impression that he (the alcoholic) is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite.
Big Book Pg 120
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointment or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
Big Book Pg 103
Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!
Big Book Pg100 101 102
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
Big Book Pg 146
You may need to encourage him to play once in a while.
Big Book Pg 123
Perhaps they created the impression that he (the alcoholic) is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite.
Big Book Pg 120
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointment or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.
GO PATS
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Luck has nothing to do with it. 30,000 other people drinking has nothing to do with it. You are putting yourself into the situation and you have the full responsibility for what happens. It sounds like a perfect setting for pulling out any of the excuses I used to use to justify drinking, especially "It's a special occasion, I'll just stop again tomorrow." But you don't have to drink, and if you get though it without drinking, it won't be because you are "lucky".
But I'm from Detroit, what it this "playoff football atmosphere" of which you speak?
But I'm from Detroit, what it this "playoff football atmosphere" of which you speak?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by bonsai12 
Big Book Pg 132
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
Big Book Pg 103
Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!
Big Book Pg100 101 102
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
Big Book Pg 146
You may need to encourage him to play once in a while.
Big Book Pg 123
Perhaps they created the impression that he (the alcoholic) is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite.
Big Book Pg 120
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointment or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
Big Book Pg 103
Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!
Big Book Pg100 101 102
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
Big Book Pg 146
You may need to encourage him to play once in a while.
Big Book Pg 123
Perhaps they created the impression that he (the alcoholic) is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite.
Big Book Pg 120
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointment or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.
GO PATS
That's a good post, I was the one who first said that I wouldn't go, but I was just saying what I would do. I like that post because those are some parts of the big book that I can look forward to. Doing things like going to a football game or a party without having to drink. Just normal things.
I'm not Patsfan, and I know for me I'm not spiritually fit enough to put myself in those situations yet. I hope to be someday but it's not today. I''m not the kind of person to rain on another's parade, but if I went to the game I'd rain on my own parade. Have fun at the game, and don't drink.
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