AmericanSpirit

I am curious to know more. Every time in all of the 20 something years of my drinking, I would convince myself I could drink again, convince myself it would be the last time, convince myself I deserved a drink, I see a pattern here. If my mind was made up to drink, I would drink, eventually. It was inevitable.


I now obsess over sobriety, and refuse to even argue with my mind over any possibility to drink. As soon as the thought has seeped into my brain, I force it to leave. I consciously tell myself NO! If it is something I believe body mind and soul, I'm OK. I used to obsess over the excuses why I should, or why it would be OK just this once.


I think our minds or so powerful, and if we allow ourselves to entertain the thought of drinking, the possibility of failing could very well become a reality.


I think for the very first time in my life, I realise relapsing is a concious choice if I choose to make it. For me anyway.


Your thoughts?

1963comet

For me it was those thoughts that got me drinking. And if I ever had them thoughts again, I would more than likely drink.

Today I know that I can not drink. An acually it does not even bother me anymore. I love my life today.

That is the biggest blessing for me knowing I do not entertain them thoughts anymore.

ManchurianC

Very good AmericanSpirit.

I'm working on that - to banish even the remotest possibly of drinking from my mind.

I have seen on here that people can be sober for ages, and then they start drinking again and are in a desperate state.

A relapse is a bit like Russian roulette -You might just have one drink and then pull yourself together, or it might be the bullet, and you can't stop and drink yourself into a wretched painful death.

Sugah

I have had actual, physical cravings for alcohol that came out of nowhere, but what was missing from it was the obsession to drink. I actually had to figure out what my body was feeling! It was more than a curiosity -- and a reminder that I'm not cured of alcoholism, that my alcoholism is only in remission -- than it was anything else.

But as for the urge to drink, the mental talking-myself-into-it, it's been gone since I put the drink down in 2002. I had "tried" to do it many times before that, and I think I finally figured out why the last time was (so far, so good) the last time.

In all those other attempts I made, the only thing I was remotely willing (and sometimes begrudgingly so) to change was that I drank. I wasn't willing to change anything else about my life, my habits, my thoughts, my feelings, my values. In other words, I was only willing, half-heartedly, to go to the length of putting the plug in the jug. Once I was ready and willing to go to any length to get and stay sober did I find any measure of success. Some things didn't have to change. I still wear flannel shirts. I didn't give my kids up for adoption. I still live in the state of Pennsylvania. But much has changed, and in almost all things, I welcomed the change if it meant I could go another day without a drink.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

lovingseren

My mind is full of anything I choose to put into it.

Being mindful of my thinking, and kicking out negative, "stinking" thinking has been key to my sobriety.

I believe a relapse starts long before we pick up that drink, it starts in our mind, we allow certain thoughts to swirl around in our minds, and if we don't kick em out, they grow and grow.

Seren

nandm

Very well put!

Eddie Haskell

Our family on my fathers side has a history of drunks and my mother saw a poster while she was in prison visiting my brother (11 OWI's) that said "relapse is part of recovery" and she got mad and I think to a certain point she still doesn't know what I was talking about when I explained it to her.
My analogy was that if you're in recovery and "slip" that that's all it is is a slip and you need to continue with recovering. Then I said if the sign said "relapse and you're a loser", how many people do you think would continue to work the program? We're a sensitive bunch us drunks, we would see the second sign as a reason to drink...see it says it right there, I'm a loser and I'm going to the bar. Self esteem I believe, plays a major role in how successful you are at recovery that is why there is such a big push to "accept the things you can not change", kind of a global pardon for past behavior, not that you're still not responsible for your actions but what's done is done, now move on.
In the past when I got out of treatment, (I went through treatment 5 times, 2 outpatient and 3 inpatient) I would get out and have every intention of succeeding , sometimes going to 3 meetings a day when I was starting to rationalize. It would be EXACTLY like the Devil was on one shoulder and my conscience was on the other just going at it and eventually I would give in to the the stronger urge, my addiction.
Can't let that "maybe just one" thinking linger at all!

bugsworth

Eddie, I can see why your Mom would be mad...relapse is NOT a part of recovery. While I agree no sign should say you're a loser, no sign should say relapse is a part of recovery. I have seen that phrase send more than one person out to the bar with a signed permission slip to drink. Another excuse to why one can pick up if you ask me.

barb dwyer

I think that , for me, it glosses over the stark reality that it's a LIE.

Relapse ... while unfortunate ... can be fatal.

Implying that everyone does it ...
without the responsibility that NOT everyone ...
makes it out of a relapse alive.

And in THIS alcoholics ind - diminishes somhow the memory of those who so very badly WANTED to make it back ... and didn't.

RufusACanal

Relapse is simply another drink for someone not done drinking.

Eddie Haskell

I never thought about my answer to her I just thought some smart person made up a recovery sign and I needed to defend it. I must be doing okay, I didn't see that permission slip looking me in the face! I will have to have another look at that.
I did get called into treatment a week early because a bed opened up, my addiction says I have a week in the bank for a special occasion

tiburon88

Relapse IS a part of recovery because very very few people succeed in staying sober the first time.

nandm

Relapse may be part of the recovery process but it does not have to be part of the recovery program. I tried getting sober many times without a recovery program only to relapse. But once I found a recovery program I have not relapsed and know it is not an option for me.

tiburon88

I hope New England loses in the Super Bowl. I think the New England Cheaters aren't as good as their record indicates. Randy Moss is overrated as well. Whoops, I guess this doesn't have anything to do with Alcoholism.
:sorry

nolonger

I can believe that people need many attempts at trying to get sober before it takes. I did. But "Relapse is part of recovery" is an incredibly dangerous slogan to give to people in rehab. You can see roughly what they mean (don't give up trying to give up), but their idea is so badly expressed that it almost seems to say the opposite of what it wants.

nolonger

Exactly.

xOVERMANx

I Have No Choice Whatsoever In Drink. No Matter What I Will Always Drink, I'm A "mental Defective". If I Drink I May Lose House And Home And Everything I Have, Including My Life, But Still I Drink. Both My Mind And Body Are Broken And In No Way Will I, Broken As I Am, Be Able To Repair Myself. The Only Thing That Saves Me Is Believing That A Higher Power Can Restore Me To Sanity. This I Firmly Believe.

Tazman53

This is something many folks have a hard time admitting, but every person I have seen who has quit relapsing has shared that in looking back on every one of their relpases it was a decision they made to drink that started long before they picked up that drink!

When one gets honest with them selfs and realizes that every time they slip/relapse that they are 100% responsible for their relapse, that they made a decision to drink then they will be able to understand that relapse is not a MANDANTORY part of recovery and they will if they choose to quit relapsing.