IceWolf

I'm in recovery, sometimes I slip. I went from a beer drinker to a heavy beer drinker to a beer drinker who had to slam some. Then came the brandy. Now it's vodka or bust. Beer makes me too full to drink fast enough to get the desired effect. Now it's straight, cheap vodka, slugged down in "one misssissippi,....... six mississsippi" increments. I then drink tea for awhile and prehaps have a cough drop to soften the breath. Then repeat. Is this the last stop for alcoholics? I've had enough, it's not for pleasure anymore and I can quit, just not forever even though I know this style of drinking has to be hard on the liver. I've had a near death experience already from Dr Vodka and xanax combined. I had like a 2% blood oxygen level or something and had all these tubes and ventilators hooked up to me. I just feel hopeless at times, like I should just kill myself quickly but I love my family too much to do that.

IceWolf

AmericanSpirit

I think any alcohol that is consumed that leads to the realisation that our lives are unmanageable is what I would call the lowest form of hell.


They all made me feel like I had a front row seat in hell.

nandm

When I came to the realization that I could no longer continue my drinking but I had no idea how to live without drinking I finally gave into trying AA. I will have 7 years of continuous sobriety on March 13 of this year. AA kept me from feeling like I was going insane from the obsession and craving for a drink. It also has given me the skills to live life with peace, comfort, and happiness. If you too are at the point you are ready for a change I would suggest giving your local AA hotline a call.

bye_bye_vodka

Icewolf, vodka had me buy the throat also. You're story sounds close to mine. I started out with beer also for about 15 years, then I was turned on to vodka. I was to the point where I would only use a beer as a chaser. I too used to swig the cheap stuff. I litterally was a blackout drinker evey night.

I found the best way for me to keep of the poisen was to go into detox and follow AA. So far so good.

I know it's tough but this will kill you.

laurie6781

Nope, you still have good old Thunderbird Wine and Living the streets!!! You can stop NOW if you really want to.

You will quit when you are ready and not one minute sooner.

I will pray it will happen before you die.

I say that because I took it too the MAX!! I started to seizure in the ER at .38 BAC as my body was craving MORE. That continued most of the day with heart stoppages. On that last stoppage, after 28 minutes the ER DR was writing the TOD on my chart when my heart started on its own.

I will pray you do not have to take it that far...............................that was a wee bit over 26 1/2 years ago now. So...................................SOBRIETY is a possibility.

Are you ready??

Ice Wolf....there is a lot of Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) here, and I will pray that you avail yourself of it.

Love and hugs,

findingout

Yikes! That brings back a memory for me. I remember the days when I would get home from work and drink a six pack in about an hour and a half and be full but not where I needed to be, so it was back to the store for more. I switched to wine, by the box, and was just starting to move to vodka when I found myself in rehab.

Can it get worse than where you are now? Always. Does it have to? Never. Get off the damn train. It's not going any place you want to be. You should really talk to a doctor. It may not be safe for you to just stop. Yes, it will probably be a little embarrassing, a little uncomfortable, for you to tell a doctor face to face. Do it anyway.

best

If you are ready to do something about the drinking...yes.

If not...don't worry, things can get worse.

Death has a strange way of stopping problems of to much intake of alcohol.
I would say that is the bottom circle.

CarolD

Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum!

It matters not what toxin you drink.
The type is not on your death certificate.

You mention you are in recovery.
Time to restart your committment.

Signal30

The more time that went by in my recovery I realized the the circle of hell for me was the vicious cycle of my alcoholism. Drink to numb the pain. Pain wouldn't go away, drink some more. As time went by in my recovery I realized that the hell were the reasons I drank in the first place. My low self-esteem, damaged pride/ego, personal relations with others, etc. My life was ran by fear and resentment. I was my own worse enemy. I lived my life by my own self reliance. The same self that chose to handle my problems by pouring drink, after drink down my throat. For me it was either I chose to do nothing and the progression of my alcoholism would progress me into oblivion, or I would have to make changes to break my vicious circle of hell. I chose the latter. Day by day I work to maintain my change so I don't return back into that vicious circle. The world won't change for you, you must change first.


Tom

Tazman53

Alcohol is alcohol, it all leads to death!!!

My main gig in the end was beer or anything else I could get my hands on. Your bottom is yours and yours alone. You have many choices for a bottom, unless of course you hit one of the three BIG BOTTOMS then it is no longer your choice of BOTTOM:

1. Insane asylum
2. Prison
3. Death

If you are willing to go to any lenght to get and stay sober then there is a solution, if there is one thing you decide you are unwilling to do to stay sober then you have not drank enough. I drank enough thank God to where I got to choose my bottom, do you want to choose your bottom or go for one of the big three?

lostmdboy

You sound so much like me I could of written that, but I used to chase the Vodka with beer. Or non alcoholic beer that my wife had bought me. It is just no life. The sober life without all that crap is so much happier. Keep reading and posting you find your answer.

bonsai12

Actually alcohol brings happiness to billions of people just not too people that have an allergic reaction to it. When I drink this allergy keeps telling me to have another, then another, then another and before I know it my life is unmanageable and I no longer can differentiate the true from the false. Thank God there is a solution right?

To answer your question is Vodka the lowest circle of Hell no just the alcoholic that swims in it.

musiquefreek

YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME

Taking5

That is not a slip. That is progressive alcoholism. It can get worse, and you don't want to be there.

jstme

Ice,
As several have already stated, that was me. Started with beer so many years ago. Long story short, ended with Vodka. I was to the point I had to have it just to function. Detox, seizures, and still needing more. My downward spiral towards death. Then the living hell of withdrawl.
One of my tools that I use now is a simple phrase "Remember the Pain"
If I and so many others can break the chains of bondage, so can you.

May you find your peace.

Dean62

Welcome to SR, it sounds like what I used to do as well. Tell us more about yourself musiquefreek, we are here to help each other.

CarolD

musiquefreek...
It's good to see a new member
Welcome to our community.

Rimmy

I'm glad to read that you are in recovery, and I don't think anybody here can say that when they decided to "stop", they didn't slip a time or ten. But usually, the slips happen because of what you wrote above; "I can quit, just not forever".

Actually, with the right mindset, you can quit forever. If you choose not to, the result of a slip could be what you wrote next; "I've had a near death experience already". You never can really tell how far a slip will go. You can stop forever if you are ready to. You may not want to, but you have to weigh out your options and decide if you have hit your bottom.

Toomutch

It dosn't matter what you drink.
If you are an alcoholic, and you continue to drink, the outcome will be quite grim.

Freedom1990

I spent many a night hugging the porcelain altar after much drinking of the vodka.

Thankfully, I was presented with the idea of staying sober just for today when I finally started attending AA, and that whole concept has worked very well for me for several years now.