makinachange

I feel so sick and tired. I have been drinking 2 or three bottles of wine per day and sometimes throw some vodka in with it. I have decided to up and quit today... after polishing off a bottle of wine before 9am.
I feel sick
I have tremors
I have been secretly throwing up all day
I three up in the walmart parking lot at 7am on a "fix my hangover" booze trip.
I have messed up my digestive system.
Once I even pooped in my pants while throwing up real hard.
I have gotten fat
I stopped my favorite sports
My skin looks looks awful

Tomorrow I am going to AA

Justme57

WOW! does that bring back some memories !

Aweful isn't it ?

Congratulations on your decision to quit, you will find that if you are willing to put in the work, and do the suggested things, you will recover !

Go to your AA meeting with an open mind, listen for the similarities, and not the differences . Hang around afterwards, and share with some people. You will find that they will know EXACTLY how you are feeling, and you will be able to gain support. You dont have to do this alone

best of luck on your journey

HUGX
Leigh

MadTuba

congrats on your decision to save your own life.

Just walk into any AA room and tell them your dying of alcoholism and need help.

You will get it....and you will also be helping them to stay sober.


Bless you and your brave journey!

CarolD

Thanks for reminding me why I stay sober...

You might want to speak to your doctor about
a medically supervised de tox.
Be safe and sober too.

Please let us know how you are doing.
We do understand.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

You can find some strength and support at a meeting..
I'll also suggest for you to check in with your doctor..

You CAN do this!

Karen

tanyapmc

So glad you are here and sharing. thanks for your honesty. I agree with Carol about seeing a dr about detox. You need to do this safely.

Please keep posting.

makinachange

Thank you for all your supportive comments. I am up here in the middle of the night cause I cannot sleep. Tremors are still here and my body is twitching alot. You are right about dying. I have had nights were I feel like I will have a heart attack or a seizure and die in my sleep. Pretty scary. I finally broke down and told my husband about going to AA. He is real supportive of me and wants me to be well. He travels all the time so I am alone here dealing with this.

I did not realize that by posting my message here that I could actually be helping others. That list of ailments is only as few issues I am dealing with. There are many more, all physical. If this behavior continues though I am sure I will be in a downword spiral. I still have my family, a great job and NO DUIs. I need to get out of this while I can.

Thank you for all your help and much needed encouragement.

Justme57

Hi again "makinachange"

yep, there is nothing quite so lonely as being an alcoholic awake in the middle of the night. I am in Aussie, so I am here if you need to yak.
I strongly advise you to make an appointment with your Doc ASAP, and be truthful with him re your drinking. He will be able to advise you the safest way to do this. it CAN be very dangerous, and of course exceptionally scarey alone at night .

Drink plenty of fluids, water or juice, but please see a Doc .

I am with you , and take care

HUGX
Leigh

Pilgrim

Hi mac

Welcome to SR.

Yup - first stop doctor. At least it would be good to know there is someone you can call. There is a sticky thread on the top of the board about detoxing.

We understand.

GlassPrisoner

You don't ever have to feel this way again !

Get to that AA meeting, you're ready.

best

Welcome to a better way of living.
Sober is so much better.

Let us know how the meeting was.

Tazman53

makeinachange welcome to SR. You have made a good decision going to AA and have got a lot of good advice, I would like to emphasize one.

See a doctor ASAP,detoxing without medical help can kill! I medically detoxed, I did not think I had gotten as bad as I had. My blood pressure went through the roof even with the meds they were giving me, I did not know it, but they were giving me anti-siezure meds as well, I did not get the shakes until the 3rd day and that was because they were not giving me enough of the anti-seizure meds, they upped it and all was well.

You are making a wise decision going to AA, getting sober I found was easy, staying sober was the hard part, I got out of detox after 5 days and it was a true mental battle for me to make it home without stopping to get a 12 pack.

In detox they told me if wanted a chance to stay sober to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. I did as they suggested, I went to my first AA meeting the day I got out of detox and got a "Temporary" sponsor. He explained that I needed to be sober a while longer to allow me to make a better choice as to who would be my sponsor is why he would be my temporary sponsor instead of my sponsor right away.

I guess what I am getting at is go to the meeting a bit early, talk to the person making coffee, ask them about what a sponsor is and does. Trust me if they are making coffee, they have a sponosr. Stay a bit late after the meeting.

Sponsorship is a lady for ladies, and a man for a man.

Good luck hon, keep in touch, we will support you here as well and answer any questions you have...... well at least try to! LOL

makinachange

Taz, I am so happy about your post. I just got back from walking the dog and had major cravings. I would be so easy for me to go out and get a fix but I am going to take your advice. I have been to the doctor recently and although I did not tell him about my problem, he did put me on Prozac and blood pressure meds. I have my BP under control thank goodness. I bought a juice machine and got some good recipes for using fruit to help the detox. I am going to go to AA and then go to the gym.

Thanks all of you for your support. I need a drink right now real bad but I just had an aweful bowl movement and it reminded me what my goal is. Tremors are starting to disappear and I hope to god I can get some sleep finally. I need to take this one minute at a time.

God bless all of you.

Justme57

Hi again makin,
Goodonya! sounds as if you are hanging in there
I just thought, i used to find choccy milkshakes VERY good for cravings too!

Let us know how your meeting goes
Thinkin' of you

HUGX
Leigh

Jfanagle

Makinachange,

I don't do this for everyone, but if you really want to stay sober as of today I will share October 15TH with you as your sobriety date. I was going to keep it all to myself, but if you really want a better life I will move over and make room for you.

You will find a few more like me in the rooms of AA. It works, it really does. Just follow direction, don't drink and keep coming back NO MATTER WHAT!

Jon

Cathy31

Welcome, get to that meeting and you will not look back!

Don't back down - there is a gift of desperation that we're given - don't let it get away! This disease kills!!!

Cathy31
x

Justme57

'morning makin'
How are you today ?

You know, cath is right when she says we are given a gift of desperation.............. I would never have made the decision, and worked on my recovery without it

I hope you use it too!

I will NEVER forget how desperate I was when I first found this site and AA, all in the one desperate day ! What a blessing !

HUGX
Leigh

fraankie

thanks for posting
i can count my blessings that i did not drink today
go to AA



best
fraankie

makinachange

Hey everyone. Thanks again for all the support. I went to an AA meeting today and found it extremely humbling. To be prefectly honest, I walked in and saw a bunch of older men, scruffy looking, tired looking and I was not sure what to expect. I really did not real like I belonged there until many of them spoke about their addicitions and I was real impressed with the kindness and sincere attitudes they all had. Just goes to show ya that you cannot judge a book by its cover. The stories all were different but each one had a part of it that I could relate to. I am very inspired and I learned so much. At first I did not think I belonged there. These folks were truly "hard core" but after I left and went out and had dinner and a few glasses of wine, I realized that I belonged there in every sense. The wine at dinner made me feel great but I know I will pay for it later.

I am going back tomorrow and again and again until it sinks in. I thank God for the stories these folks had to share I now I do not feel alone in this anymore. Although I did drink today, I did not have nearly the quantites I usually do and I may just be able to function tomorrow without it at all. I must say that after a few drinks today, I came home and was finally able to get some sleep. I have not slept in a long time. When ya have too much too drink, sleep does not come naturally.

Let's keep chugging along and hopefully I can do better tomorrow.

Justme57

That is FANTASTIC!

DO keep going back, you will learn a lot, and make so many supportive friends

Thank you soooooooo much for coming back to share that , you have made my day !




HUGX
Leigh