delilahz

You know outside of your significant other, I find that friends can be even more damaging to the cause. All of my friends still drink like we are in college (we are all still in our 20's). We all still plan big events for everyone to get together (mostly weddings lately) and everything surrounds drinking. The thought of even going to one of our things and not drinking seems impossible and unbeleivable to me at this point... but I am only on day 2 so we will see. Pretty pathetic that I think I cant have fun without drinking but I guess that is normal. It seems like it would be easier if I could just pick up a different bad habit and party that way instead... which obviously is a terrible idea and would leave me in the same place only typing all this under a different category (think NA...). Just my thoughts..

GlassPrisoner

So do mine, but we're in our 40 s

I made it through last July 4th, which was exactly as you described. Only this year, I didn't drink. And you know what ? I still had fun. The camaraderie, the talk about old times, etc were still there. Even though they kept repeating the same stories....and they weren't as funny as I remembered.....

sobercompton

Delilahz, I agree entirely.

My friends and I are all in our late twenties and our drinking habits haven't changed much since our college days. We just see slightly less of each other, as we all have began to settle down a bit.

Like you, all our socialising revolves around having a beer and to make things worse -one of by best friends isn't far behind me down the road to alcoholism. However, I feel I will be able to handle these situations by drinking as many soft drinks as I can stomach, before making my excuses and leaving.

What really scares me, are the big events like weddings. Where there's free booze, you're expected to drink and you can't just get up and leave when you want. I have a terrible track record with weddings and always end up embarrassing myself horribly. The last time, I ended up driving home drunk to everyone’s knowledge. Not a good thing!!

findingout

The thing is, we can NOT drink at these big events where the booze is free and we CAN get up and leave an event if we begin to feel that our recovery is in jeopardy. Not only can we, we absolutely have to do it if we are going to maintain our recovery.

I think for me, one of the dangers of big events is that they used to be such perfect covers for my alcoholism. Hey, it's a wedding, everybody's drinking, everybody's getting drunk. Except everybody wasn't. And since I was always one of the last people to leave a situation where the booze was flowing free, it seemed like nobody ever left early. But of course they did.

I need to keep reminding myself that it is perfectly acceptable to attend the wedding ceremony and skip the reception, or to attend the wedding and the dinner part of the reception and leave before the real drinking starts. People in recovery do it every day.

earthmama

As for "drinking events"...

I went to my first such event almost 2 years into sobriety. A Swedish friend was having a midsummer party, which involves many drinking songs and many shots of strong liquor. I wasn't sure how it would feel to be there, but I ended up having a great sober time, and the BEST PART was leaving knowing that I hadn't done anything I would regret later. I didn't have to try to get more than my fair share of the alcohol while trying to appear I was drinking the same amount as everyone else, I didn't have to worry about driving home, I didn't owe anyone an apology for my ridiculous behavior at the end of the night. I enjoyed myself and woke up the next day with a clear head and a light heart.

When I was newly sober, I worried about things that weren't happening yet - how would I handle a party? a wedding? a holiday? - and a fellow alcoholic explained to me that I only needed to worry about staying sober TODAY, and the rest of that would work itself out. And you know what? She was right!!

One Day At A Time !

L Ron Hoover

Good post, earthmama.
It's only TODAY that matters. Took me a while to learn that, but it makes things go a lot easier.

LRH

redbear

How are your meetings going it is good to see you around hear. I went to dinner with AA friends the other night and found it alittle difficult, beer goes great with steak...I did have to excuse myself to the rest room to have alittle chat with myself. I try to give myself encouragement that I can beat this...it only took a couple of minutes, a little chat and a view deep breath and I was back into the swing of thing, and I enjoy the evening, talk, laughed and gave myself a pat on the back becuase I took it one night at a time....take care

sobercompton

I'm doing really well thanks redbear. 10 days sober today!

So far I've been to 5 meetings and they have been great. I've built up a network of contacts that I regularly speak with and feel I'm moving forward with my life - it's really working for me.

Before getting sober, the last 6 months or so, I really turned into a bit of a recluse and didn't go out or speak to anyone. The meetings have really given me an opportunity to get back into the real world and start interacting with people again. I still haven't plucked up the courage to actually share in a meeting yet (although I have come very close), but it's only a matter of time.

It is so nice being able to relate to other peoples stories and meet people of a similar age (I'm 29) with the same problems as me. I was worried everyone that attended the meetings would be 45+, even though I know people suffer with alcohol problems at a much younger age.

I live in a big city and have a huge choice of meetings to go to, which is really nice because I can get out and explore a bit. I have no problems just turning up, I just don't say anything when I get there

Everyday, I feel much better than the last. I'm happier, the fog in my head is slowly lifting and I feel more in tune with the world. My real personality is returning, much to the enjoyment of my partner who had to constantly put up with my mood swings, irritability, anxiety and depression.

I'm only at the start of my journey and have a long way to go. The reason I feel so good now, is because things were so bad before - I'm still nowhere near back to normal.

I have had no cravings for alcohol and I don't think I will do. I was a huge binge drinker. I was never bothered about alcohol while not drinking but as soon as I had that first drink, it would be 24 hours drinking for the next 2 weeks or so, or until I physically could not have another, or did something monumentally stupid, which I've done a lot of. So for me it's all about not having that first drink. One day at a time. That's why I need the AA, to remind me that I can't have that first drink. I'm sick and tired of coming out from a bender and struggling to get myself back to a semi-normal state, to only go and do it all over again - thinking this time will be different. It never is!!!

I hope life is treating you well.

Tazman53

sobercompton congrats on the 10 days, sounds like AA is giving you everything it gave me. Hang on to it, it is a great ride!

parentrecovers

thumbs up, sobercompton!

snowgoose

Great news on ten days, keep it up and follow suggestions.

RufusACanal

Best to you !

earthmama

Wow, it was great to read your update, sobercompton! I'm glad you're finding what you need in AA, and you're checking out different meetings and making contacts with people. What a great start!!

Stick around, it's an amazing journey