Tazman53

Good luck on your journey, but staying sober is the most rewarding journey you can go on as long as you change.

In order to not be a dry drunk I had to change to get sober, there is a difference. I did the dry drunk thing on and off for years, all I would do is quit drinking and change nothing else, I was one miserable honery SOB!

Remember if you change nothing, nothing changes.

Work a long term recovery program to change, I use AA because it not only has a program that works if you work it, but it has the face to face support this alcoholic needs to change any where in this country I go and most places in the world now.

Pilgrim

Signal - awesome on 1 year!!!!

theotherone

Hey Tazman...You sound like the kind of person I wish my husband had the strength to become. You mentioned in another post for families that if I had any questions, I could ask you. Is it possible that if a person only drinks beer (8-12 16 oz'ers a nite), never any hard alcohol, that they do not have a problem???? Is it possible that drinking can make a person "hate" or see family members as intolerable, when all they try to do is make life livable with the "problem drinker"????? Is it possible that this problem drinker does love his family but is so clouded that they become the meanest, nastiest person in the room and continually push the only good they have ever known or have left farther and farther away???? Just need help understanding what is happening....Thanks!

Tazman53

I am not going to say whether or not your husband is an alcoholic or not, I will tell you though that 99% of my drinking was beer! Here are a few simple test you may ask your husband to try to see if he is an alcoholic or not.

1. Tell him to just drink 1 16oz an evening for a week and no more.

2. Tell him to go a solid week with out a single drink and then pick up and drink one beer and not have any more for a week.

3. Tell him to go a week without drinking, then drink half a beer and pour the rest out.

The only thing I will say is if he can do all 3 of those with out a problem, he is not an alcoholic of my type.

Yes, it is also possible that alcohol can make the meanest SOB on the planet a kitty cat. Alcohol can cause an alcoholic to act in many different ways. ALcoholics can act in many different ways drunk or sober.

Yes it is possible, but as long as I had those people as my safety net I always put my booze ahead of them. I did not stop until I knew my safety net was going to dissappear in 30 days and I saw my future....... which was losing every thing I owned or cared about and was left with nothing but to drink myself to death.

Every alcoholic who recovers has thier own personal bottom, some bottoms are much higher then others, some are in the basement, and others the only bottom is 6 foot under.

The only way most alcoholics like me reach our bottom is when our safety net dissappears.

What is a safety net?

Bailing me out of jail.
Calling in to work telling them I am sick when in reality I am to damn drunk to go to work.
Paying my bills for me even if it is with my money.
Buying me anything.
Helping me out of any trouble I get into.
Putting a roof over my head.
Feeding and clothing me.

In other words until I am made to face life head on all by myself will I finally be able to see how unmanageable my life is due to my drinking, as long as others are helping me out of jams or taking care of me I think every thing is fine.

Pick-a-name

Sounds familiar..... my AH of 27 yrs just divorced me under these same circumstances (that and the fact he thought our kids and I were "picking on him" by suggesting the drinking was a problem ;at least for us). Best of luck to you all. See you at F & F?