Utterly confused.
dum vita est spes est
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
Sug,
First and foremost (((Sug))), "[Sug] I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh, [Sobriety] seems like a dream to me now."
Groucho,
Thank you for those kind words. Man, sometimes I wonder if I hide behind my honesty, if that makes sense. To be so honest with others, but yet not completely believe your words even though they come from the heart is some sort of affliction. The heart, IMHO is God-given, and sometimes I believe His words precede my thoughts on the subject. (This is pretty deep and I don't expect many to grasp what I'm trying to say, but yet I still felt compelled to say it). On a positive, I'm flying to see my alcoholic and incredibly faithful servant to God of a father. This will be the first time I've been to his new house in over three years...we are quite different - he is a blue-collar man, raced motorcyles (and got me into them as well), and can explain how an engine works in ways that are beyond my comprehension. I'm a white collar employee, who reads philosophy, makes more in one year than he did in three, and twice as wide as him and most likely several times stonger physically, yet several times weaker mentally. He bought some fishing lures and rifle shells...ha! Damn that's good, a city boy fishing and firing rifles - we are so different yet so much the same. I can't wait!!! I apologize in advance for the diarrhea of the mouth, but hey - I can't sleep and I say what's on my mind.
Trying,
I'm of the opinion you have free will, so you most certainly can if you choose to. Thanks for the contribution and unwritten implication.
PR
First and foremost (((Sug))), "[Sug] I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh, [Sobriety] seems like a dream to me now."
Groucho,
Thank you for those kind words. Man, sometimes I wonder if I hide behind my honesty, if that makes sense. To be so honest with others, but yet not completely believe your words even though they come from the heart is some sort of affliction. The heart, IMHO is God-given, and sometimes I believe His words precede my thoughts on the subject. (This is pretty deep and I don't expect many to grasp what I'm trying to say, but yet I still felt compelled to say it). On a positive, I'm flying to see my alcoholic and incredibly faithful servant to God of a father. This will be the first time I've been to his new house in over three years...we are quite different - he is a blue-collar man, raced motorcyles (and got me into them as well), and can explain how an engine works in ways that are beyond my comprehension. I'm a white collar employee, who reads philosophy, makes more in one year than he did in three, and twice as wide as him and most likely several times stonger physically, yet several times weaker mentally. He bought some fishing lures and rifle shells...ha! Damn that's good, a city boy fishing and firing rifles - we are so different yet so much the same. I can't wait!!! I apologize in advance for the diarrhea of the mouth, but hey - I can't sleep and I say what's on my mind.
Trying,
I'm of the opinion you have free will, so you most certainly can if you choose to. Thanks for the contribution and unwritten implication.
PR
'55 Classic
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 637
PR,
Good to see you again. Just wanted to share this with you. Hope it helps.
I wondered whether I was an alcoholic or not. Honesty, open mindedness, and the willingness to examine my past helped me to find the truth. One of the things that helped me to come to my conclusion as to the true nature of my condition, that I am an alcoholic, was the realization that not every time I drank did I get into trouble, but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking.
I'd go for days, weeks, and even months without taking a drink...but, eventually I would drink again even knowing that trouble could follow. I hated the trouble, but somehow that wasn't enough to make me stop. I guess it boiled down to this, I didn't have a problem with my drinking (a problem drinker?) I had a problem with my stopping. On my own I was powerless over alcohol and could not totally stop drinking and the trouble it caused me showed me that my life was unmanageable by me. (It's sad
when you find that you can't even trust yourself.)
Just a thought.
Good to see you again. Just wanted to share this with you. Hope it helps.
I wondered whether I was an alcoholic or not. Honesty, open mindedness, and the willingness to examine my past helped me to find the truth. One of the things that helped me to come to my conclusion as to the true nature of my condition, that I am an alcoholic, was the realization that not every time I drank did I get into trouble, but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking.
I'd go for days, weeks, and even months without taking a drink...but, eventually I would drink again even knowing that trouble could follow. I hated the trouble, but somehow that wasn't enough to make me stop. I guess it boiled down to this, I didn't have a problem with my drinking (a problem drinker?) I had a problem with my stopping. On my own I was powerless over alcohol and could not totally stop drinking and the trouble it caused me showed me that my life was unmanageable by me. (It's sad
when you find that you can't even trust yourself.)Just a thought.
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