Memorial weekend
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Justaround - I always learned the most in school from the teacher, not the student sitting next to me in class. We all have personal experiences that we can offer as an example, but I think that we need to be careful sometimes in the advice that we give others when we are fledglings ourselves.
Peace.
Peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: seattle, wa
Posts: 34
Justaround,
Well said...Things change and everyone recovers different. I do take a little from what each person says so for me every message has been important to me.
Just wondering...What is "RR"???
Well said...Things change and everyone recovers different. I do take a little from what each person says so for me every message has been important to me.
Just wondering...What is "RR"???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
I was just rereading this thread, and I realized something, I do stay away from alcohol for the most part, I mean i go to weddings and business trips and all that, but I think the main reason I stay away from it now, is that my thinking has changed so much, I just plain dont like being around people getting hammered anymore, I am not threatend by it so much as I just see it for what it is now, I hope I don't sound like I think I'm better than people who drink, it's just that Ive been there done that, I have a new life now, and I focus on my recovery, I too have seen a lot of people, who for whatever reason are not willing to follow this simple program, and end up drunk.
I have chosen to follow the advice of the oldtimers, and it has been working for me.
I have chosen to follow the advice of the oldtimers, and it has been working for me.
Last edited by The Jay Walker; 04-30-2003 at 04:59 PM.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: seattle, wa
Posts: 34
Justaround,
You made a good point when you asked why I went camping in the past. Was it for the drinking or the camping??? That got me to thinking and yes it was for the late night bon fire getting wasted with everyone and drinking all day. It's a little different now because I have kids and I enjoy going on walks through the woods with them and the dog while the guys jeep and bike. Plus,
I wouldn't feel comfortable drinking like I did in the past with my children in an unknown place. I will bring a book and lots of magazines with me so I don't get tempted. Even if it's hard I will not let myself down.
Thanks for the heads up!
You made a good point when you asked why I went camping in the past. Was it for the drinking or the camping??? That got me to thinking and yes it was for the late night bon fire getting wasted with everyone and drinking all day. It's a little different now because I have kids and I enjoy going on walks through the woods with them and the dog while the guys jeep and bike. Plus,
I wouldn't feel comfortable drinking like I did in the past with my children in an unknown place. I will bring a book and lots of magazines with me so I don't get tempted. Even if it's hard I will not let myself down.
Thanks for the heads up!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Temple City, CA
Posts: 52
Re: To Sit Tight
Originally posted by justaround
I appreciate and respect your point of views. Are they working for you? GREAT! Good job, and keep it up. I wish you the best of luck
I appreciate and respect your point of views. Are they working for you? GREAT! Good job, and keep it up. I wish you the best of luck
The bottom-line: each of us needs to do what works for us individually. For me this meant leaving the party scene behind. To each his or her own.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Kristen - it is absolutely not my intention to stir the pot here - I'm hoping like everyone else here that you are able to get youself sober and recovered. However, from what you just posted, it seems that you might be thinking of going on this trip and possibly basing your decision to do so on the advice of Justaround, who just posted this comment in another forum YESTERDAY:
"Stay away from bars and parties where alcohol and drugs are present. If these are the only parties that your friends go to, well then find new friends. Stay away from old using buddies and places. You aren't going to get sober that way, not possible. Especially staying around the same losers who still use, they could give two ***** less if you relapse, in fact they would like you to. Just use your head."
Justaround - It's also not my intention to cause you any humiliation and I am not trying to single you and what you say out, but we take on a big responsibility when we suggest to others what they should or should not do, and I think it's important that we be absolutely clear in our convictions when we do so.
"Stay away from bars and parties where alcohol and drugs are present. If these are the only parties that your friends go to, well then find new friends. Stay away from old using buddies and places. You aren't going to get sober that way, not possible. Especially staying around the same losers who still use, they could give two ***** less if you relapse, in fact they would like you to. Just use your head."
Justaround - It's also not my intention to cause you any humiliation and I am not trying to single you and what you say out, but we take on a big responsibility when we suggest to others what they should or should not do, and I think it's important that we be absolutely clear in our convictions when we do so.
Last edited by margo; 04-30-2003 at 05:32 PM.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 46
Just my two cents worth:
If you don't think you can keep from drinking around people who are drinking, you should not attend gatherings where alcohol is served. If you are firm in your commitment not to drink, realizing all the misery it has caused you in the past and knowing that you will probably go down that same road again if you do drink, and instead choosing something much better, then you should be safe and free to enjoy all the activities "normal" people do regardless of the prescence of alcohol. Only you know. But remember, there is something inside you that cares nothing about you or anything or anyone that you love and only about getting as much alcohol (technically, a poison) as possible, whether you live or die. Who is stronger? YOU or it? Can it force you to grab the container and lift it to your mouth and swallow against your better judgement?
In my experience, people seem to have respect for me when I tell them I don't drink and sometimes I think I catch this little look on their face that says they might be thinking, why can't I do that?.
If you don't think you can keep from drinking around people who are drinking, you should not attend gatherings where alcohol is served. If you are firm in your commitment not to drink, realizing all the misery it has caused you in the past and knowing that you will probably go down that same road again if you do drink, and instead choosing something much better, then you should be safe and free to enjoy all the activities "normal" people do regardless of the prescence of alcohol. Only you know. But remember, there is something inside you that cares nothing about you or anything or anyone that you love and only about getting as much alcohol (technically, a poison) as possible, whether you live or die. Who is stronger? YOU or it? Can it force you to grab the container and lift it to your mouth and swallow against your better judgement?
In my experience, people seem to have respect for me when I tell them I don't drink and sometimes I think I catch this little look on their face that says they might be thinking, why can't I do that?.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: scottsdale az
Posts: 118
To Margo and Kristen
Hello again..
Margo,
You aren't singleing me out...from who? Yourself? As far as I'm concerned I'm singleing you out from my recovery...lol. I'm just joking. You don't have to get mad Margo, it will only make your recovery seem less relevant. I know where you are though, when I was a dedicated member of AA I was dissing RR as well, or at least those who followed it. As to your comment, yes a couple days ago I was an AA member, as I mentioned earlier. You stated this:
I was always the one to listen to the teacher, not the student
Okay, so who is the teacher in recovery? If we don't listen to other recovering addicts, as you stated that you don't, aren't you defeating the whole purpose of AA? There is no student/teacher in recovery. Anybody who has sober time and commited to staying sober is a teacher. My higher power is my teacher, so yes I listen to my teacher...and my students. So, just keep it chill Margo. Your recovery is yours, mine is mine and it is working. As long as you have ONE.
Kristen,
As screen3 had mentioned earlier, if you have any doubt on your mind that you might drink, then don't go. If it just you and your kids, don't bring alcohol. I would suggest going to AA meetings before attending alcohol related situations if you are still thinking about the bottle. Heck, I had to go through a 28 day inpatient program, 5 day detox, and outpatient before I could start feeling comfortable around others that drink. AS Jay mentioned, I just don't have the desire to hang around drunks anymore either. Once you get a good amount of sober time on you, you find out that all those drunks really aren't that funny. But I do go to places with friends who drink a couple beers and I don't mind. They don't offer, and I wouldn't accept anyway. Once you feel comfortable, you could keep attend meetings or check out RR, your choice.
BTW RR is Rational Recovery...type in Rational Recovery on the search log and you will get the home page. I won't post their site because that is prohbited on this site and I will not break the rules for I appreciate this site greatly.
Good luck with your sobriety everyone and have a good day
Margo,
You aren't singleing me out...from who? Yourself? As far as I'm concerned I'm singleing you out from my recovery...lol. I'm just joking. You don't have to get mad Margo, it will only make your recovery seem less relevant. I know where you are though, when I was a dedicated member of AA I was dissing RR as well, or at least those who followed it. As to your comment, yes a couple days ago I was an AA member, as I mentioned earlier. You stated this:
I was always the one to listen to the teacher, not the student
Okay, so who is the teacher in recovery? If we don't listen to other recovering addicts, as you stated that you don't, aren't you defeating the whole purpose of AA? There is no student/teacher in recovery. Anybody who has sober time and commited to staying sober is a teacher. My higher power is my teacher, so yes I listen to my teacher...and my students. So, just keep it chill Margo. Your recovery is yours, mine is mine and it is working. As long as you have ONE.
Kristen,
As screen3 had mentioned earlier, if you have any doubt on your mind that you might drink, then don't go. If it just you and your kids, don't bring alcohol. I would suggest going to AA meetings before attending alcohol related situations if you are still thinking about the bottle. Heck, I had to go through a 28 day inpatient program, 5 day detox, and outpatient before I could start feeling comfortable around others that drink. AS Jay mentioned, I just don't have the desire to hang around drunks anymore either. Once you get a good amount of sober time on you, you find out that all those drunks really aren't that funny. But I do go to places with friends who drink a couple beers and I don't mind. They don't offer, and I wouldn't accept anyway. Once you feel comfortable, you could keep attend meetings or check out RR, your choice.
BTW RR is Rational Recovery...type in Rational Recovery on the search log and you will get the home page. I won't post their site because that is prohbited on this site and I will not break the rules for I appreciate this site greatly.
Good luck with your sobriety everyone and have a good day
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
Hmmm...
I've followed this thread with interest for lots of different reasons, and I must confess, some of the suggestions I have read here have upset me a bit.
In point of fact, I have actually been feeling threatened by some of the ideas posted in this thread...not entirely sure why that would be the case...perhaps those ideas I find questionable threaten my self perception and ideas that have gotten me to this point in sobriety. That's the honest answer, and in my experience, not at all unusual.
I am reminded, though, that it isn't the ideas themself that matter...in sobriety, it is my action and experience that really counts, for through them, I have the potential to learn and grow. My thoughts and feelings will change as my action comes into alignment with spiritual principles and practices, not the other way around.
What I have learned in sobriety thus far is that no matter what I might think about it, I cannot control my drinking once I start, and that it is pointless for me to try to address that particular malady in my thought life alone. For me, making that attempt is like trying to catch the wind in a jar, and believe me I have tried.
It is a peculiar function of my mind that tells me that I can think my way into controlling drinking, when my actions and experience, when I am honest with myself, tell me such a different story. That my thinking and actions have been so far out of alignment for so long tells me even more that something aint quite right here. I've tried and failed so many times in so many different ways using my mind and willpower alone...all attempts an utter failure.
When the book talks about the great obsession of every alcoholic being that he may one day drink like a normal person, that he labors under the delusion that this will one day come to pass...dellusion jumps right out at me, as when my mind and thoughts are so far out of touch with my experience, literally dumping the facts in favor of the idea, then that is dellusion.
And even knowing that I have never been able to control it by my willpower alone, by my best scheming, by my best planning...never stopped me from trying anyway, which is a delussion (my mind being out of touch with the facts of my experience) that continues to plague me, but in different areas.
To think I can still control it with my mind and planning is dangerous for me, as I barely know how to live and make use of this faculty of thinking, of how to live daily, in and out of relationship with my fellow human beings, of how to recognize and integrate the facts of my experience in my mind and heart. Whether alcoholism is or is not a medically quantifiable disease with concrete causes and cures isn't the point for me. Whether I possess any personal power or not isn't the point to me.
So, here is where I am today...here's what recovery looks like for me. Once I start, I cannot stop, nor control my drinking, in any way. OK...that's a simple fact and really fits in my experience. In AA, and through taking the steps, and through going to meetings and listening every once in a while, I have learned how not to take that first drink. BUT...that is but a symptom, not the real source of my true problem as an alcoholic (yup...I really believe that to be true).
There is a second part that I am only now beginning to learn and see, that derives from the second part of step one, "...that (my life) had become unmanageable." I am learning to live all over again. Recovery today for me is all about living as a whole human being free of the dellusion that tells me to ignore the actual facts of my experience, centered in the true realities of life, and then functioning therein. That means learning how to be free of selfishness and egocentric beliefs, resentments and fears, of learning to be honest, truly honest with myself and those about me without harming them or myself, of trusting in this creative intelligence, of in point of fact, relying upon it, whether it inspires me from within or through another (both would seem to be involved...yes???), whether it is a he or a she, whether it wears a white robe, has a long beard and leans on a staff or has no form at all...irrelevant...trusting it, knowing it isn't me alone, that is the essential goal of recovery to me today.
Hope I didn't rant here...needed to say all of that, and thanks for the assistance in clarifying where I am today :-)
Blessings
In point of fact, I have actually been feeling threatened by some of the ideas posted in this thread...not entirely sure why that would be the case...perhaps those ideas I find questionable threaten my self perception and ideas that have gotten me to this point in sobriety. That's the honest answer, and in my experience, not at all unusual.
I am reminded, though, that it isn't the ideas themself that matter...in sobriety, it is my action and experience that really counts, for through them, I have the potential to learn and grow. My thoughts and feelings will change as my action comes into alignment with spiritual principles and practices, not the other way around.
What I have learned in sobriety thus far is that no matter what I might think about it, I cannot control my drinking once I start, and that it is pointless for me to try to address that particular malady in my thought life alone. For me, making that attempt is like trying to catch the wind in a jar, and believe me I have tried.
It is a peculiar function of my mind that tells me that I can think my way into controlling drinking, when my actions and experience, when I am honest with myself, tell me such a different story. That my thinking and actions have been so far out of alignment for so long tells me even more that something aint quite right here. I've tried and failed so many times in so many different ways using my mind and willpower alone...all attempts an utter failure.
When the book talks about the great obsession of every alcoholic being that he may one day drink like a normal person, that he labors under the delusion that this will one day come to pass...dellusion jumps right out at me, as when my mind and thoughts are so far out of touch with my experience, literally dumping the facts in favor of the idea, then that is dellusion.
And even knowing that I have never been able to control it by my willpower alone, by my best scheming, by my best planning...never stopped me from trying anyway, which is a delussion (my mind being out of touch with the facts of my experience) that continues to plague me, but in different areas.
To think I can still control it with my mind and planning is dangerous for me, as I barely know how to live and make use of this faculty of thinking, of how to live daily, in and out of relationship with my fellow human beings, of how to recognize and integrate the facts of my experience in my mind and heart. Whether alcoholism is or is not a medically quantifiable disease with concrete causes and cures isn't the point for me. Whether I possess any personal power or not isn't the point to me.
So, here is where I am today...here's what recovery looks like for me. Once I start, I cannot stop, nor control my drinking, in any way. OK...that's a simple fact and really fits in my experience. In AA, and through taking the steps, and through going to meetings and listening every once in a while, I have learned how not to take that first drink. BUT...that is but a symptom, not the real source of my true problem as an alcoholic (yup...I really believe that to be true).
There is a second part that I am only now beginning to learn and see, that derives from the second part of step one, "...that (my life) had become unmanageable." I am learning to live all over again. Recovery today for me is all about living as a whole human being free of the dellusion that tells me to ignore the actual facts of my experience, centered in the true realities of life, and then functioning therein. That means learning how to be free of selfishness and egocentric beliefs, resentments and fears, of learning to be honest, truly honest with myself and those about me without harming them or myself, of trusting in this creative intelligence, of in point of fact, relying upon it, whether it inspires me from within or through another (both would seem to be involved...yes???), whether it is a he or a she, whether it wears a white robe, has a long beard and leans on a staff or has no form at all...irrelevant...trusting it, knowing it isn't me alone, that is the essential goal of recovery to me today.
Hope I didn't rant here...needed to say all of that, and thanks for the assistance in clarifying where I am today :-)
Blessings
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Thin Ice
Posts: 96
What better way to get your answer then from Bill W. himself. Bill W. is one of the co-founders of AA from the 1930’s
__________________________________________________ _________
AS BILL SEES IT PP 77
R.S.V.P. -- Yes or No?
Usually, we do not avoid a place where there is drinking -- if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, night clubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary parties.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?" Then go or stay away, whichever seems better. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
If you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 101-102
__________________________________________________ __________
__________________________________________________ _________
AS BILL SEES IT PP 77
R.S.V.P. -- Yes or No?
Usually, we do not avoid a place where there is drinking -- if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, night clubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary parties.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?" Then go or stay away, whichever seems better. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
If you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 101-102
__________________________________________________ __________
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
Originally posted by StillInTheDumps
But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 101-102
__________________________________________________ __________ [/B]
But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 101-102
__________________________________________________ __________ [/B]
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Justaround - you are misquoting me. I said, "I always learned the most in school from the teacher, not the student sitting next to me in class."
As subtlety doesn't seem to be working, let me put it this way. Every person who advised that someone newly sober stay away from places where alcohol will be present has years of collective experience under their belts. Ergo, it would seem logical to take their advice in this situation rather than from someone whose opinion of alcohol has gone from an addictive substance to a "silly substance" in a matter of days.
FYI - Rational Recovery has never been "prohbited (sic) on this site" and in fact there is a link to it on this site.
Good luck in your recovery, whatever method you choose.
Kristen, here's the link:
http://www.rational.org/
As subtlety doesn't seem to be working, let me put it this way. Every person who advised that someone newly sober stay away from places where alcohol will be present has years of collective experience under their belts. Ergo, it would seem logical to take their advice in this situation rather than from someone whose opinion of alcohol has gone from an addictive substance to a "silly substance" in a matter of days.
FYI - Rational Recovery has never been "prohbited (sic) on this site" and in fact there is a link to it on this site.
Good luck in your recovery, whatever method you choose.
Kristen, here's the link:
http://www.rational.org/
Last edited by margo; 05-01-2003 at 08:43 AM.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
In general,gentle suggestions based on our own experience are the best things we can offer each other.All I am qualified to tell anyone is what has worked for me.Then I need to let it go.Otherwise the discussion deteriorates into an argument.When that happens,the opportunity to help the newcomer may be lost.
phoenix
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
There is a recovery home near me, and every memorial day and labor day they have a big BBQ, its great, there are a lot of newcomers, and a lot of people from outside come too,
we have a blast, they cook a whole pig underground, and we all bring a side dish, they have a pool, and theres allways a big turn out, this is what I usually do on memorial day. I plan to go again this year, if any of you are from my area, I would be glad to meet you there, and show you around.
we have a blast, they cook a whole pig underground, and we all bring a side dish, they have a pool, and theres allways a big turn out, this is what I usually do on memorial day. I plan to go again this year, if any of you are from my area, I would be glad to meet you there, and show you around.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: scottsdale az
Posts: 118
Re: Hmmm...
Originally posted by SobrietyFirst
What I have learned in sobriety thus far is that no matter what I might think about it, I cannot control my drinking once I start, and that it is pointless for me to try to address that particular malady in my thought life alone. For me, making that attempt is like trying to catch the wind in a jar, and believe me I have tried.
----
There is a simple answer to this...don't drink! By no means have I mentioned to anyone that it is alright for you to drink any amount of alcohol. I couldn't either.
To think I can still control it with my mind and planning is dangerous for me, as I barely know how to live and make use of this faculty of thinking, of how to live daily, in and out of relationship with my fellow human beings, of how to recognize and integrate the facts of my experience in my mind and heart. Whether alcoholism is or is not a medically quantifiable disease with concrete causes and cures isn't the point for me. Whether I possess any personal power or not isn't the point to me.
----
Whether a disease or not, it does not matter. My recovery is to learn to be able to function like a normal human being, have productive relationships, live day to day, not feel belittled and beaten to the ground from this substance. And this has worked for me. Your recovery is no better than mine, mine no better than yours. If you are sober for today, you're doing something right. I just can't go on waking up stressed because I got some addiction that is going to scare me for the rest of my life if I am anywhere near it....ALCOHOL SIGNS, ADVERTISEMENTS, THE GUY ON THE CORNER, UNEXPECTED GUESS, SOCIAL EVENT...AHHHH!! In reality we have to face these situations, not hide form them. If we don't learn how to deal with thses situations, will you be ready when you get that great new job promotion over seas and as custom celebritory offered a drink of expensive liquor?
So, here is where I am today...here's what recovery looks like for me. Once I start, I cannot stop, nor control my drinking, in any way. OK...that's a simple fact and really fits in my experience. In AA, and through taking the steps, and through going to meetings and listening every once in a while, I have learned how not to take that first drink. BUT...that is but a symptom, not the real source of my true problem as an alcoholic (yup...I really believe that to be true).
-----
That is wonderful that AA works for you. I use several concepts of AA as well. You are sharing your experience and opinions. So am I. All that matters is working your own recovery. There is no need for recovery bashing because remember that (This taught in AA) anger towards someone else or thier ideas leads to resentment and who loses this battle? The one holding a grunge or some resentment...and relapse. So keep up the good work, I would love to hear more of your ideas
Blessings
What I have learned in sobriety thus far is that no matter what I might think about it, I cannot control my drinking once I start, and that it is pointless for me to try to address that particular malady in my thought life alone. For me, making that attempt is like trying to catch the wind in a jar, and believe me I have tried.
----
There is a simple answer to this...don't drink! By no means have I mentioned to anyone that it is alright for you to drink any amount of alcohol. I couldn't either.
To think I can still control it with my mind and planning is dangerous for me, as I barely know how to live and make use of this faculty of thinking, of how to live daily, in and out of relationship with my fellow human beings, of how to recognize and integrate the facts of my experience in my mind and heart. Whether alcoholism is or is not a medically quantifiable disease with concrete causes and cures isn't the point for me. Whether I possess any personal power or not isn't the point to me.
----
Whether a disease or not, it does not matter. My recovery is to learn to be able to function like a normal human being, have productive relationships, live day to day, not feel belittled and beaten to the ground from this substance. And this has worked for me. Your recovery is no better than mine, mine no better than yours. If you are sober for today, you're doing something right. I just can't go on waking up stressed because I got some addiction that is going to scare me for the rest of my life if I am anywhere near it....ALCOHOL SIGNS, ADVERTISEMENTS, THE GUY ON THE CORNER, UNEXPECTED GUESS, SOCIAL EVENT...AHHHH!! In reality we have to face these situations, not hide form them. If we don't learn how to deal with thses situations, will you be ready when you get that great new job promotion over seas and as custom celebritory offered a drink of expensive liquor?
So, here is where I am today...here's what recovery looks like for me. Once I start, I cannot stop, nor control my drinking, in any way. OK...that's a simple fact and really fits in my experience. In AA, and through taking the steps, and through going to meetings and listening every once in a while, I have learned how not to take that first drink. BUT...that is but a symptom, not the real source of my true problem as an alcoholic (yup...I really believe that to be true).
-----
That is wonderful that AA works for you. I use several concepts of AA as well. You are sharing your experience and opinions. So am I. All that matters is working your own recovery. There is no need for recovery bashing because remember that (This taught in AA) anger towards someone else or thier ideas leads to resentment and who loses this battle? The one holding a grunge or some resentment...and relapse. So keep up the good work, I would love to hear more of your ideas
Blessings
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 55
justaround...
No arrows intended there. Your notes assisted me greatly in getting to the bottom of some stuff I've had going on for a few days.
Really helped me see where I really am today, and I appreciate your opinions and experience as well :-)
Blessings
Really helped me see where I really am today, and I appreciate your opinions and experience as well :-)
Blessings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: seattle, wa
Posts: 34
Last night I went to my brother and sister in-laws house and they bbq'd salmon and chicken with oysters, veggies and the entire bit. They always go all out with the food drinks and so on. There were some nice bottles of wine that they bought for the occasion, but I just drank water which was fine because I never drink at family gatherings or weddings because I don't trust that I will pace myself and I don't want to make a fool in front of family members. I've done it before when I was in my early 20's, but I just used the excuse that I was just young.
Oh, I almost forgot....I had a talk about drinking with my husband on the way home from Bellevue last night and we were talking about how when ever I get a buzz I start drinking twice as fast and when ever anyone else I am around gets a buzz they start slowing down (Well not everyone, but the majority) This is the first time he has said anything, but the fact that he doesn't think I have a problem. He did say that he noticed I've been doing that more often than not lately.
Anyway, the first thing I thought of this morning was....Gee, it's Friday night which is movie and pizza night for the kids in the neighborhood while the parents sit around drinking and chatting.
I think I may get a babysitter and go to a movie so I don't have to feel pressured.
I have felt so tired this week for some reason. It looks like it is going to be nice out so I think I will head to downtown Seattle and take the kids to Gasworks Park down on the water and see if I can wake up!!!!!!!!!!
Take care and thanks for listening....K
Oh, I almost forgot....I had a talk about drinking with my husband on the way home from Bellevue last night and we were talking about how when ever I get a buzz I start drinking twice as fast and when ever anyone else I am around gets a buzz they start slowing down (Well not everyone, but the majority) This is the first time he has said anything, but the fact that he doesn't think I have a problem. He did say that he noticed I've been doing that more often than not lately.
Anyway, the first thing I thought of this morning was....Gee, it's Friday night which is movie and pizza night for the kids in the neighborhood while the parents sit around drinking and chatting.
I think I may get a babysitter and go to a movie so I don't have to feel pressured.
I have felt so tired this week for some reason. It looks like it is going to be nice out so I think I will head to downtown Seattle and take the kids to Gasworks Park down on the water and see if I can wake up!!!!!!!!!!
Take care and thanks for listening....K
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 59
Well, I had my big seafood boil Saturday and the event was a huge success in many ways. Most importantly, I was able to place myself in a potentially dangerous (for a recovering alcoholic) situation and survive. There are a few critical steps that I took to insure that I was ready to have a party where alcohol would be consumed.[list=1][*]I did not serve alcohol; anyone wishing to drink had to bring their own.[*]I made sure that I talked to my sponsor and asked for help.[*]I made sure I was spiritually prepared to face the situation.[*]I made as many people aware ahead of time that I no longer drink.[*]I worked with my outpatient therapist to write down possible scenarios at the party and to develop responses ahead of time.[*]I focused on what I could bring to the party, not what I would get out of the party.[/list=1]
The second-to-last item was very useful. I did have a couple of instances where someone offered me a drink and I politely declined and told them why not. Both people were very impressed with what I was doing and wished me the best.
It also didn't hurt that my next door neighbor was totally trashed by 11AM and acting like a fool. It was visual reminder that I didn't want to spend my life like that anymore.
Remember, this worked for me and me only. With only three weeks sobriety, I am in no position to recommend this approach to anyone.
Thanks for reading.
The second-to-last item was very useful. I did have a couple of instances where someone offered me a drink and I politely declined and told them why not. Both people were very impressed with what I was doing and wished me the best.
It also didn't hurt that my next door neighbor was totally trashed by 11AM and acting like a fool. It was visual reminder that I didn't want to spend my life like that anymore.
Remember, this worked for me and me only. With only three weeks sobriety, I am in no position to recommend this approach to anyone.
Thanks for reading.
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