Gottalife

Step one identifies the problem, well canvassed above. Step two, the solution. The big book couldn't be simpler on this topic. "Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe in a power greater than myself. As soon as a erosion can answer in the affirmative we emphatically assure them they are on their way"

Summarised in the abcs, the three ideas, that we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable, that probably no human power can relieve our alcholism, and that God could and woul if he were sought. " Being convinced, we were at step three". Are you convinced? This may be a couple of hours work ( and a lifetimes drinking) with a sponsor to reach this point.

Step three invites us to consider why we should appoint a new manager, then it becomes a decision which we put into effect by taking the rest of the steps. The only proof that step three is done is when we commence working through the rest of the steps. The book tells us it is all inclined to come undone if we waste time hanging around step three.

Also, it doesn't tell us that we must have a God of our understanding at this early point. That comes later. In fact I think it says something about the power being something impossible for us to understand or fully comprehend at this stage.

Gottalife

We were talking about denial last night. It manifests in all kinds of ways. Parkinson's law: procrastination is the deadliest form of denial, is right on the money when it comes to denial in terms of the solution.

But, possibly, denial at any stage is more like a psychosis than anything. It may be something that we can do nothing about as we may not even know it is there. Much like the obsession of the mind. It comes back, we don't see it coming.

There have been plenty of times in my drinking history, and even in my early attempts to sober up, that denial was a key factor. I could not see the truth of the situation. Being open to doing something about my problems, I could not see the true nature of my condition, couldn't connect the dots so to speak. This was not choice, it was like blindness. Same with recovery, I couldn't see that what had worked so well for others would work for me too. I couldn't see the similarities, my mind was on the differences. The main difference being the insane belief that in spite of all the evidence, I could sort myself out without any help. The belief that we are different (denial) is one area where we are all the same.

Why do people fail to take the steps and end up relapsing? Perhaps because they don't think they need to, and that can be denial or lack of information- it's not always down to the illness.

A chap I knew went ten years dry, then the obsession came back. With itcame the denial of the problem and the solution. Nothing of his previous AA experience remained, it had been completely neutralised. He never broke out of that mindset, and died a short time later.

The only way I know to ensure the obsession and denial stay away is to get on with the steps today, recover, and stay recovered. If it comes back, there is no guarantee of another chance.

Pagekeeper

This is very common, from my experience. It's called the obsession of the mind. "More About Alcoholism" goes into detail about this insanity.

The only way to not go back is to develop that daily reprieve. Each step is like a building block, we are building an "arch" in which we walk through to freedom. Until then, we rely on faith and trust.