desypete

selfishness is the key here
i always thought i was an ok guy as i would buy anyone a drink ( but soon found out who not to buy a drink for as they wouldnt get me one back )

i thought i was a great person on the outside but i didnt want you to know how bad i was to live with at home

to the outside world i could be ok but i was the biggest fraud around
i wouldnt know this about me if it wasnt for doing the steps
i need to change my life around if i am ever going to have long term sobriety

anyone can stop drinking but how do you stay stopped ?

if i put the drink down then i have quit it and that should be all there is to it

but it isnt as the person who drinks is still the same person they think the same and react the same as they dont know how not to do it

if a probem comes along the answer is to have a drink on it as it will some how magicly fix the problem
or if there is a sports event on we must have a drink as everyone else is drinking and its the normal thing to do
its all in our minds and our hearts were the root of the problem is

just putting down the drink will do nothing to change our thinking or how we behave but a 12 step program will fill that hole

the idea is to be free from drink and enjoy life each day without a drink or without it being hard work

also to cope with problems head on instead of running away into the bottle

it took me 4 years before i could finaly see i was the same person without the drink only i didnt do some of the major things i did in drink. but i was still selfish wanted everyting to go my way or no way
i was still trying to change others even in aa i wanted them to do like i did and not what was best for them

all these things are hidden from me as i can not see them until i get honest and they steps shown me how to really get honest
step 4 and 5 are the keys to start it off with

i look back at some of my early shares in aa meetings and i can not believe it was me yet it was but today thanks to the steps and aa and the people i have woke up to me and leaning a new way to live my life without trying to control everything

today i am happy to not be stuck with a drink in my hand or drink to play a part in my life
i read on here the suffering people are going through making it a week and then going back on the drink again etc
i am happy i am not like that today anymore
but the answers came to me only when i had finaly admitted i am powerless over booze or to put it another way
i can not control drinking

the steps are needed to show us who we are what we are, and living the program daily is a life changing excersize that will bring us a new life
but we have to work on it daily even when we dont want to