jimhere

Yeah, you want to make sure you've got the right edition when you tell sometime to read page 449. In the Fourth Edition, page 449 tells about some guy prostituting his ass down on the street and picking up cigarette butts out of the gutter. Go read that, it will solve all your problems!


I always like to point out that the people whose stories are in the back of the book did what is in the front of the book. For a long time I wondered where the term "Life On life's terms" came from. Then one day I heard somebody reading Dr. Paul's story. I never liked the term either. Life doesn't make terms. People make terms. I either live life on my terms which is usually not a good outcome, or I live life on God's terms.

I always had a hard time incorporating the practice of acceptance into my spiritual life because of my resistance towards the word as it used in meetings. But several years ago that changed. Someone suggested I read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power Of Now." There are very simple practices in that book using acceptance that have radically changed my approach to the spiritual life.
Jim

stone

LOL





Cool, a fellow pedant.






Tolle is a big influence on my spiritual practice. I love that book and also "Practising the Power of Now".

keithj

Tad off topic, but I can't muster up any enthusiasm to rehash the page 449 thing again.

Just a thought on gratitude. All my life, I could list all these various things that I should be grateful for. Intellectually, I knew I should have gratitude for the blessings in my life. But to actually experience gratitude, I had to work the 12 steps and have a spiritual awakening.

Gratitude had to be experienced on a spiritual level for me to really know what it was. And like Jim said, it had to be expressed through action. There is no place where I feel more gratitude in my heart than in working with another alcoholic.

LegalLady

I believe in the third edition it is on pae 449 and the story is called Physician Heal they self. In the BB 4th addition it is the same story but they changed the name and its on page 417. I can't think of the name of the story but it has acceptance in it. And its a big part of my daily prayers. The acceptance prayer. For me, anything in the BB works for me. Even the Blank Pages. I put my notes on them.

Ago

ultimately my point is while some topics may not be my favorite, acceptance as a topic certainly isn't enough to send some anal brigade of idiots off on some "first 164 pages" rant, and if it did, they deserve to suffer in order to work on their control issues and utter lack of control in their emotional life.

some stuff I hear in meetings make me cringe, what I need to remember is meetings aren't all about me , they are about the newcomer, and acceptance as a concept is critical to early recovery because as a practicing alcoholic I wasn't prepared to accept anything other then all my problems were somebody else's fault, and I didn't have a drinking problem, I had an interval problem, studying acceptance as a concept helped me start learning that I wasn't in charge in more, that I wasn't, in fact God.

acceptance is the bedrock of the spiritual axiom, which is if I am upset, there is something wrong with me, and if I am REALLY upset, there is something REALLY wrong with me, and if I can't manage my emotional life about silly little sh1t like acceptance as a topic at a meeting the truth of the matter is I am not working a very good program and I'd best hit my knees and do some thorough 4-9 or when life hands something real I will not be equipped to handle it emotionally and I might drink.

The only thing funner at meetings then watching bleeding deacons squirm is watching service commitment meetings like group consciences, GSR meetings, business meetings etc

Talk about a pack of ego's on parade

If mine is one of them I have something to learn.

If I don't like the topic of a meeting or the direction it is heading I can always leave, go out for coffee, grab some dinner etc. I have been around the rooms long enough to know when I won't be able to be helpful and add to a situation or when a meeting will rub me the wrong way, although if a valid topic does rub me the wrong way I may have something to look at, some personal growth awaiting me there.

awareness
acceptance
action

is an Al-anon tool, just FYI, that's why I used it as an example, it's not in the first 164 pages of the BB but I see you agree it's a handy tool

All that glitters is not Gold and there are helpful tools that are not included in the first 164 pages, as a matter of fact the first 164 pages frequently tells us to seek those out, be quick to see where religious people are right, practitioners and psychiatrists are frequently indispensable, we realize we know a little etc.

The first 164 pages are a guidebook, not a holy Grail, when we deify that we miss the point IMO. I follow the first 164 pages EXACTLY which is why I have an open mind, it tells me to.

Boleo

I was at a meeting once where the topic was "Gossip".

I left early to avoid the brawls in the parking lot.

McGowdog

I like gossip. Go ahead and talk about me. It fits in with my need for approval (a form of fear that I have). Oh, and I inevidibly find something to give you to gossip about.

Has anyone ever heard the saying, "Don't get a resentment, give one"? I've gotten too good at that lately.

Here's another saying though; "It's ok until it's not ok anymore." Then you see yourself doing it and it's not ok anymore.

Boleo

"These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound."
(page 14)

"That was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe. "
(page 47)

McGowdog

Accept? Isn't that some hairband like Warrant or Poison?

"We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help." pg 25

Ok, I can accept that.

tomvlll

Acceptance of What?

Ago

Acceptance of what IS

not what I want it to be
not what I think it is
Not how I think it should be
not what my delusions tell me it is
not what the little voice in my head tells me it is

until I could accept I was an alcoholic, I couldn't get sober
until I can accept that nothing happens in this world by mistake, that's it's "God's will" be done, not mine, I can find no serenity
until I can accept everyone as being who they ARE not who I want them to be I will always have a resentment with them, or trying to "fix" them

If I don't accept a situation for how it is, I struggle with it and frequently get upset. The more I struggle, the more I lose, whether it's resentments, relationships etc If I can accept a situation for how it is, I change it or myself accordingly if it's necessary.

Things that are rigid, break, things that are flexible, thrive, If I insist on running the show and having things my way, or even think I know the right way, I am headed for deep trouble.

I am a taoist, hedonist, see below

Taoism Sh1t happens.
Hedonism There's nothing like a good Sh1t happening.
Agnosticism What is this Sh1t?
Nihilism Who gives a Sh1t?
Atheism No Sh1t
Buddhism If Sh1t happens, it isn't really ****.
Zen Buddhism What is the sound of Sh1t happening?
Hinduism This Sh1t happened before.
Confucianism Confucius say, "Sh1t happens."
Mormonism This Sh1t is going to happen again.
Islam If Sh1t happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Stoicism This Sh1t is its own reward.
Protestantism Let this Sh1t happen to someone else.
Calvinism Sh1t happens because you don't work hard enough.
Pentecostalism In Jesus' name, heal this Sh1t!
Catholicism Sh1t happens because you deserve it.
Judaism Why does this Sh1t always happen to us?
Zoroastrianism Sh1t happens half the time.
Marxism This Sh1t is going to hit the fan.
Seventh Day Adventist No Sh1t on Saturdays.
Existentialism Absurd Sh1t.
Deconstruction Sh1t happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science Sh1t is in your mind.
Moonies Only happy Sh1t really happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, Knock, Sh1t happens.
Scientology Sh1t happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna Sh1t happens, Rama Rama.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this Sh1t.

Sh1t happens, if I get upset about it, resist it, fight with it, get mad at it, stand downhill from it etc I am the dummy

ie acceptance

Super simple concept

sailorjohn

Dang, that wuz sum pretty good sh*t!

Not sure what that philosophy is, sounds like stoner talk.

stone

Nice.

Calvinism Sh1t happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism Sh1t hapens because you deserve it.

McGowdog

A.A. Sh1t happens because one sh1t talks to another sh1t.

Ago

LOL

to use the Chuck C analogy

and when I get so full of sh1t I have to share it with others, I have to give this sh1t away

Codependency This sh1t is your fault
Mother Clean up your sh1t
Wife You are in deep sh1t

todd6138

the meeting itself was a regular AA meeting; it just happens to be visited by a local treatment center. For those who think acceptance has nothing to do with AA read step three in the 12 and 12.

McGowdog

I don't like the 12 & 12.

Bob23

This may be only semantics, but seems to me that when I admit I am powerless over alcohol, that is an act of acceptance. Total, unequivocal surrender.

McGowdog

Well if that works for you, do it.

Before I can accept or admit being an alcoholic, I have to come to find out exactly what an alcoholic is and what it's not. A lot of people in this world are very confused about it... inside and outside of meetings.

Once I find out what an alcoholic is... through listening to real alcoholics' honest experience... it... let me use a new popular "buzz word" here... resonates with my inductive and capacitive reactance... and X(c) = X(L) at the bandpass or corner frequency and we resonate!

I don't need to say, "I admit it", or "I accept it"... I just realize I have it! I AM an alcoholic! Period.

But if acceptance works for you, get down with it. Many times in my life, I was given a clue about it, but I wanted to prove otherwise.

As was mentioned in this thread here somewhere... we had to "concede to our inner most selves". I like that better than "admit" and "accept". But to me, the suggestions on page 59 and 60 are merely short form wall scrolls. We use the whole book (up to page 164) to describe them steps.

To just look at the word acceptance at it's face value, I'm sure it's a wonderful concept. But it's not one of those things I can force myself to do... even if I wanted to. I do the instructions in the book, and I may come to obtain "acceptance", sort of like a promise. That's how I understand it anyway.