Is Acceptance part of the Big Book or not?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Huntington, WV
Posts: 225
Is Acceptance part of the Big Book or not?
I went to a discussion meeting recently where acceptance was chosen as a topic. It seemed to create a large resentment with some who think that because it isn't a part of the first 164 p , then it is not a part of the recovery plan outlined in the BB. I only pointed out that acceptance os a large portion of the serenity prayer, only because it was an open meeting for rehab participants to be able to come in and share as addicts. Personally, I have no problem with it. Comments?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
If you do a big book search on "accept" and "acceptance" there are lots of hits in the first 164 pages:
Big Book Search Form
Big Book Search Form
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
I too believe that acceptance plays a large part in recovery.
I think the resentment you were speaking of comes from taking certain parts of the book or of parts of the program out of context. I'll be the first to admit that this practice annoys me.
When I was new I remember hearing a lot about page 449 in the Third Edition. We all know that is part of Dr. Paul O.'s story. I also remember people reading that for meeting topics, which didn't make sense to me.
I once had the pleasure of visiting with Dr. Paul. Naturally the conversation turned to his story. While he didn't regret writing it, he was bothered by what we'd done with it by turning it into some sort of sacred cow.
I believe that people use things like slogans and cliches and page 449 to masquerade the fact that they don't have much else in the way of a real answer to offer to the newcomer or to the alcoholic that needs a real answer. And that why some get annoyed with this kind of stuff.
Jim
I think the resentment you were speaking of comes from taking certain parts of the book or of parts of the program out of context. I'll be the first to admit that this practice annoys me.
When I was new I remember hearing a lot about page 449 in the Third Edition. We all know that is part of Dr. Paul O.'s story. I also remember people reading that for meeting topics, which didn't make sense to me.
I once had the pleasure of visiting with Dr. Paul. Naturally the conversation turned to his story. While he didn't regret writing it, he was bothered by what we'd done with it by turning it into some sort of sacred cow.
I believe that people use things like slogans and cliches and page 449 to masquerade the fact that they don't have much else in the way of a real answer to offer to the newcomer or to the alcoholic that needs a real answer. And that why some get annoyed with this kind of stuff.
Jim
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
That vein of acceptance runs through the whole book imo...
"Not part of the recovery plan in the book".........bs...
its a big part of we agnotics...imo
at the very least i needed to accept than god could do for me what i couldnt do for myself...
only my opinion but it sounds like bs middle of the road aa.
i also dont except that addicts should be sharing about there addiction in aa.
alcholics anonymous is for alcoholics...
what about when a newcomer alcoholic walks in ...sits at the back and hears nothing but shares about drugs?.........im in the wrong place...
if im honest its this type of aa that gets me spitting my dummy out..
thats me.
"Not part of the recovery plan in the book".........bs...
its a big part of we agnotics...imo
at the very least i needed to accept than god could do for me what i couldnt do for myself...
only my opinion but it sounds like bs middle of the road aa.
i also dont except that addicts should be sharing about there addiction in aa.
alcholics anonymous is for alcoholics...
what about when a newcomer alcoholic walks in ...sits at the back and hears nothing but shares about drugs?.........im in the wrong place...
if im honest its this type of aa that gets me spitting my dummy out..
thats me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Huge part of the big book...
Isn't there something in the first 164 pages about coming to terms that we as alcoholics can never again drink like non alcoholics... something about the man who loses his legs not expecting to grow them back.... ????
I don't know how a person could read the big book and not get a message of acceptance...
Hmm... like maybe.... THE FIRST STEP!!!!!
Mark
Isn't there something in the first 164 pages about coming to terms that we as alcoholics can never again drink like non alcoholics... something about the man who loses his legs not expecting to grow them back.... ????
I don't know how a person could read the big book and not get a message of acceptance...
Hmm... like maybe.... THE FIRST STEP!!!!!
Mark
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
The whole first step is acceptance, even though the word isn't mentioned. It's still implied. Of course, someone who isn't willing to surrender isn't going to accept anything having to do with getting sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
Part of the Big Book?
Or not.
I love that the 4th Edition moved the story now the little Acceptance minions can't go chanting 449 anymore!
Don't accept the unacceptable. Don't accept a lie either.
The serenity prayer is not part of the A.A. program either. It's just tradition and ceremony.
Don't be hustled into the A.A. Program, please. Have the dignity to find out for yourself if you're an alky or not. Don't accept anything, foo! Find out. Question. Think. Identify.
If an elephant is standing on your toe, don't accept it. Get the hell out from under the elephant's foot.
Lower your expectations and you won't be disappointed? Sure. Whatever you say, Stewart Smalley!
I love that the 4th Edition moved the story now the little Acceptance minions can't go chanting 449 anymore!
Don't accept the unacceptable. Don't accept a lie either.
The serenity prayer is not part of the A.A. program either. It's just tradition and ceremony.
Don't be hustled into the A.A. Program, please. Have the dignity to find out for yourself if you're an alky or not. Don't accept anything, foo! Find out. Question. Think. Identify.
If an elephant is standing on your toe, don't accept it. Get the hell out from under the elephant's foot.
Lower your expectations and you won't be disappointed? Sure. Whatever you say, Stewart Smalley!
Last edited by McGowdog; 09-27-2009 at 09:26 PM.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Personally I find the topic of acceptance hugely important not only to my sobriety but to my serenity
even as far as
awareness
acceptance
action
that aint in the first 164 pages either but it's a handy tool
it's possible to get so rigid and narrow minded about "THE BOOK" that you actually miss the point of the thing
trust God
clean house
help others
have fun
I probably shouldn't, and I have asked for this character defect to be removed, but I can't help but to pull Bleeding Deacon Tails just a little bit, I frequently say I'm here to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed, and people find me frequently offensive, that's OK, I find people frequently are too rigid in their thinking so I give them an "assist" from God to help loosen em up a bit, kinda like we have some members here on other forums that will hear certain words and just lose their fooking minds
God
bark bark bark
AA
bark bark bark
we can come here and do the same thing
acceptance
bark bark bark
Recovery
bark bark bark
If you can't "accept" as in concede to your innermost self, the fact you are an alcoholic, you can't get sober, so I'd say, yeah, it's pertinent
Course I aint the AA Police any more, I leave that job to others more qualified then me, they are easy to spot, they have red faces, point their fingers a lot, stand too close to when they are talking to you, have high blood pressure, start many sentences with "you should" and invariably their home and personal life suck.
So I figger what the hell, if I give these guys something to be p1ssed off about and sumpin to talk about for the next 24 hours like making acceptance the topic at a meeting until their next meeting and next resentment I've done my part to help keep them sober for another 24 hours.
even as far as
awareness
acceptance
action
that aint in the first 164 pages either but it's a handy tool
it's possible to get so rigid and narrow minded about "THE BOOK" that you actually miss the point of the thing
trust God
clean house
help others
have fun
I probably shouldn't, and I have asked for this character defect to be removed, but I can't help but to pull Bleeding Deacon Tails just a little bit, I frequently say I'm here to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed, and people find me frequently offensive, that's OK, I find people frequently are too rigid in their thinking so I give them an "assist" from God to help loosen em up a bit, kinda like we have some members here on other forums that will hear certain words and just lose their fooking minds
God
bark bark bark
AA
bark bark bark
we can come here and do the same thing
acceptance
bark bark bark
Recovery
bark bark bark
If you can't "accept" as in concede to your innermost self, the fact you are an alcoholic, you can't get sober, so I'd say, yeah, it's pertinent
Course I aint the AA Police any more, I leave that job to others more qualified then me, they are easy to spot, they have red faces, point their fingers a lot, stand too close to when they are talking to you, have high blood pressure, start many sentences with "you should" and invariably their home and personal life suck.
So I figger what the hell, if I give these guys something to be p1ssed off about and sumpin to talk about for the next 24 hours like making acceptance the topic at a meeting until their next meeting and next resentment I've done my part to help keep them sober for another 24 hours.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by McGowdog 
OK, let me just put it this way.
I've been to meetings where the topic is acceptance and IMO, they suck weasel-stuff. (edit)
I've been to meetings where the topic is acceptance and IMO, they suck weasel-stuff. (edit)
not all of the meetings suck, but I hear you, I admit it's a topic that will make me groan inwardly, although I think it's an important one
I think the only topic that gives me a bigger interior "Holy mother of God get me out of here" is Gratitude
It's like being at meetings where they tell me to look in the mirror and say 'I love you" to myself, don't you fooking idiots know what a mirror is for? IT'S FOR LOOKING FOR THE STUFF THAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!! like pimples, bad hair days, lima beans in my teeth that have there all night during a date, green stuff on the outside of my nose....
gratitude
mutter mumble gnash teeth
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I wonder if the staff of this treatment center has a list
of topics they want to use in their Open Discussion?
I've never been a patient nor have I chaired
a meeting at any treatment center.
Just curious....I
of topics they want to use in their Open Discussion?
I've never been a patient nor have I chaired
a meeting at any treatment center.
Just curious....I
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I am by no means a thumper but it does annoy me when people use the stories like they are the Program, I only have the 4th addition but I assume page 449 is the "acceptance is key...nothing happens that isn't god's will...life on life's terms" thing?
For some reason "life on life's terms" annoys me too, lol. Maybe I am a bit of grouch.
He got one thing right though, imo. Acceptance IS key and not just in step 1 terms but accepting in the wider sense of not fighting things. I am not well recently and accepting that instead of going into self-pity has been hard for me, but it is crucial.
For some reason "life on life's terms" annoys me too, lol. Maybe I am a bit of grouch.
He got one thing right though, imo. Acceptance IS key and not just in step 1 terms but accepting in the wider sense of not fighting things. I am not well recently and accepting that instead of going into self-pity has been hard for me, but it is crucial.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Open Disgusting Meetings
Originally Posted by Ago
Well in all fairness I don't entirely disagree with you
not all of the meetings suck, but I hear you, I admit it's a topic that will make me groan inwardly, although I think it's an important one
I think the only topic that gives me a bigger interior "Holy mother of God get me out of here" is Gratitude
It's like being at meetings where they tell me to look in the mirror and say 'I love you" to myself, don't you fooking idiots know what a mirror is for? IT'S FOR LOOKING FOR THE STUFF THAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!! like pimples, bad hair days, lima beans in my teeth that have there all night during a date, green stuff on the outside of my nose....
gratitude
mutter mumble gnash teeth
not all of the meetings suck, but I hear you, I admit it's a topic that will make me groan inwardly, although I think it's an important one
I think the only topic that gives me a bigger interior "Holy mother of God get me out of here" is Gratitude
It's like being at meetings where they tell me to look in the mirror and say 'I love you" to myself, don't you fooking idiots know what a mirror is for? IT'S FOR LOOKING FOR THE STUFF THAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!! like pimples, bad hair days, lima beans in my teeth that have there all night during a date, green stuff on the outside of my nose....
gratitude
mutter mumble gnash teeth
I have to admit that I react in the above manner to most open disgusting...'er open discussion meetings. I get so grateful I could puke. I just don't get I guess, because for me gratitude isn't something I talk about, although I have. Gratitude isn't necessarily something I feel, although I have felt it. Making a list of stuff that I should be grateful for and then trying to muster up gratitude has never worked for me. Gratitude is like love and service and all those other things we give lip service to. I just can't sit at home and be grateful. I'll choke on my own gratitude and drown in my own happiness. To me gratitude needs to be expressed through action.
Jim
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
