mitkey

Hello to everybody on this forum.

I'm wondering if anybody here is familiar with the topic in the title. To provide some details:

I'm 31. My mother has been drinking regularly for about 20+ years (she is 64 now). Perhaps she's been drinking for an even longer time but the family did not know back then.

The frequency of her drinking has fluctuated a bit over the years, but on average, she gets drunk (a lot) once per 14 to 30 days. In between, she does not drink (perhaps except for a beer, max. one per day). Sometimes she is able to stay clean for a couple of months.

When she's drunk, she's reckless and aggressive, insulting everybody around, I guess I don't have to go into details. Otherwise she is a nice person.

I was wondering if this classifies as alcoholism, i.e. a physiological dependence on alcohol -- I would expect that she would have drunk more and more over time if she were dependent.

Could the addiction be purely psychological? My mom is quite an anxious person. Wouldn't a psychologist be of a better help? The problem is, she won't go to one (she is frightened of that, and a bit too proud).

Thanks for reading
Mitkey

Kialua

Hi, welcome. Are you living with her? Does she live alone? How do you know she only gets drunk once in a while? She may be drinking without your knowledge. Just a guess. I don't really know if she qualifies for being an alcoholic based on what your wrote. But there are other more knowledgeable people that will be along soon to weigh in.

aeo1313

That was my pattern of drinking and I would say I'm an alcoholic. Once I start I can't control how much I drink or what my behavior will be.

This is something your mom will have to figure out on her own.

Thank you for posting this to show me that even though I didn't drink often my drinking still affects those around me. Your post has made quite an impact on me and I thank you so very much.

With that said, please take care of yourself, and welcome to SR.

mitkey

Kialua, aeo1313, thank you for your replies and your welcome. I feel really bad for replying so late. I thought I would be notified on my email if somebody replied -- but never got a notification. Hopefully you are still around.

aeo1313, I'm glad my post helped you. I wish you good luck in staying sober! Can I ask you how or why you started drinking? How did you manage to keep it infrequent? Was there any trigger for this?

Kialua, my mom lives with my father back in my hometown. We typically know that she's drunk by the way she speaks (she gets a lisp for example), although that typically means she's quite drunk already.

Kialua

No problem, I haven't been around here much myself. My alcoholic dad drank all day every day till 80 years old so that's all I know. It certainly is a problem, but until she seeks help, you should study up on the whole thing. Read through some of the stickies posted above, they are really helpful.

There is a way to be notified on the email:

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mitkey

Thanks, Kialua! I'll take a look at the stickies ...