Willybluedog

Plath, happy birthday to you, so sorry your husband did this to you, and your MIL playing round 10,000 of passive agressive theater.

Just know that many people here care very much about you, and are actively rooting for your happiness.

Please remember when things get tough, you have a family and friends that love you, and you get to watch your son grow a little more every single day.

:day5

Plath

Thank you, Kialua and Bill. Bless you both for being here. No, I would be shocked if anything changed anytime soon...hehhmm.

They came over, and it wasn't so horrible (although for the first half hour I was practically ignored in favor of my son...as if they don't live in the same building and see him on a regular basis...although he is pretty darn precious, if I do say so, heheh).
But really, not even a "Happy Birthday" when they walked in. Technically, my birthday is tomorrow, but we have plans, and this was the "cake and ice cream" night. Hrmphh.

It was okay enough, but a fairly irritating experience in general. They evidently thought it was scheduled for tomorrow night...hmm..

The MIL had her bit of wine, and wasn't in a bad space, so it turned out okay. I was able to hold my tongue and not make snarky remarks, and held back from talking about too much personal stuff...so, for today, the behavior was at least semi-acceptable, and that's better than infuriating, right?


Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, and for being here when I need to "talk", or just vent.

I feel like I should be responding a bit more to other threads, but I guess I'm kind of wrapped up in what's going on for me right now (mostly good stuff and birthday-related), but I'll be back after the weekend is over, hopefully with a postive post-birthday outlook.

dbh

Happy Birthday Plath!!!

Wishing you a wonderful day & year ahead.

db

Plath

Thank you, dbh!

tromboneliness

Dang -- I was hoping they wouldn't, so you guys could have more cake!

T

Plath

Ha ha, Tromboneliness.


My MIL is so much like my own mother that it's almost absurd. She has more of an ability to not just blurt out obnoxious, inflammatory comments than my own mother (thankfully), but I'm beginning to learn (again) that her behavior is just plain unpredictable.

For my birthday she gave me an astrological emblem necklace that she had given to her own mother (who, as I understand, was quite a horrible person to be raised by), as her mother and I are/were the same astrological sign, and she knows that I study astrology.

So, uh...I *think* that she meant well by giving it to me; I don't think there was any cryptic meaning behind it, I think she just wanted to give me something perhaps very personal...

And what she wrote on the inside of my birthday card was downright odd...
That I have become a very special DIL, and a good friend, etc.

WTH?

As with my own mother, I'm still learning to not be surprised if I'm greeted warmly like a friend, or ignored, given belittling digs or backhanded compliments, or whatever she just feels like at the moment.

I am sure that I also possess these traits, so I don't really know what to do about all of that, except to keep my distance and not expect anything--good, bad, or otherwise.

On a positive note, I had a wonderful birthday; her and her friend babysat pretty much all day while my husband and I went to the art museum to see an exhibit with paintings by my favorite artist, went downtown to places I like to go, etc.

So...back to getting on with life, and working on my own behaviors, right?
Hehhmm....

micealc

Replace Negative Conditions With Positive Cognitions
..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx................................. .Saying Nice things About Myself.
Negative Cognitions............................... Positive Cognitions
I don't deserve love ..............................I deserve love; I can have love
I am a bad person..................................I am a good loving person
I am terrible ..........................................I am fine as I am
I am worthless and inadequate .....................I am worthy and worthwhile
I am shameful .....................................I am honorable
I am not lovable ..................................I am lovable
I am not good enough.............................. I am deserving
I deserve only bad things......................... I deserve good things
I cannot be trusted ...............................I can be trusted
I cannot trust myself............................. I can (learn to) trust myself
I cannot trust my judgment ........................I can trust my judgment
I cannot succeed ..................................I can succeed
I am not in control ...............................I am now in control
I am powerless ....................................I now have choices
I am weak......................................... I am strong
I cannot protect myself ...........................I can (learn to) take care of myself
I am stupid....................................... I am intelligent
I am insignificant and unimportant................ I am important.
I am a disappointment .............................I am ok just the way I am
I deserve to die ..................................I deserve to live
I deserve to be miserable......................... I deserve to be happy
I cannot get what I want.......................... I can get what I want
I am a failure, I will always fail................ I can find success
I have to be perfect & please everyone ............I can be myself, I can make mistakes
I am permanently damaged ..........................I am healthy, I can be healthy
I am ugly .........................................I am attractive
I should have done something...................... I did the best I could
I did something wrong .............................I learned (can learn) from it
I am in danger ....................................It's over, I am safe now
I cannot stand it................................. I can handle it
I cannot trust anyone............................. I can choose who to trust
I cannot let it out ...............................I can chose to let it out
I do not deserve to be happy ......................I can have & deserve happiness
I am hopeless and Irresponsible....................I can be Responsible and Reasonable.
I am Bad...........................................I am fine.
Say these often>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I found this so good for Relaxing.....Mary Maddix>>>>>>>>>>>.Short
http://api.viglink.com/api/click?for...13305201497123