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first post - starting a journey

Old 01-18-2012, 04:23 PM
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first post - starting a journey

This is my first time being part of a group like this so I'm not sure where to start. I've touched on my mother's alcoholism in individual therapy, but I am at a point in my life where I really have to face how it has affected me. I started reading about the characteristics of ACOA and it's pretty scary how much of it I can relate to.

My mother grew up with an alcoholic father who sought recovery and has been sober for over 30 years now. I grew up thinking that drinking to get drunk is just what "normal" parents do, so as a kid I thought that a lot of my friends' parents were "weird." I have struggled with dependence on and off since the age of 17. Due to health reasons I have not had a drink in 6 months. I really wish she would follow in my footsteps, but she doesn't see a problem and she can't give up the wine for even 1 night.

I recently had to move back in with my parents temporarily. I am almost 30 so this is not an ideal situation. It was hard enough watching my mother drink excessively a few times a year on holidays or family trips, but now I see it night after night. It is getting very difficult for me to be around.

Well, I think that's enough for now. I'm looking forward to starting this journey and learning from everyone on the forum. Thanks for listening!
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:05 PM
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Welcome to you, so glad you are here.

Some recommendations, start by reading the (stickies) the permanant posts at the top of the page. Also read back through some of the older posts, there is lots of good information shared there, lots of posts on good books, etc. You may also want to visit the ACOA website (no affiliation with this site) and may want to think about ordering their "Big Red Book" which is their official handbook.

If you need to vent, want to talk, need a shoulder or a hug please don't hesitate to ask.

Again, glad you are here,

Bill
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:56 PM
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Hi, welcome. I'm sorry you have to live in that now. I hope things will soon change for you. Have a good time exploring the valuable information stored here.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:04 PM
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Welcome aboard, I'm glad you're here too.

I recently started posting on this forum, and so far it's been a real life line.

I'm also sorry that you're having to go through living with your alcoholic mother right now. I had to move in with my dysfunctional mother when I was about 30 for a temporary period (I'm 36 now, so it wasn't that long ago), and it was pretty insufferable. I actually contemplated staying in a women's shelter rather than having to deal with her crazy, and crazy-making behavior.

But, the situation did resolve itself. I actually ended up staying with a safe female friend of mine who had similar child of origin issues, and that totally saved me.

I think you will find what you need here!

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Old 01-21-2012, 04:28 AM
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I strongly recommend reading the "stickies" at the top of this forum, particularly the "13 characteristics of ACoAs" and the "Bill of Rights". Perhaps especially the Bill of Rights.

Repeat as needed, "I have the right to not participate in the crazy making behaviors of my family." If you say it enough, you start to believe it. Once you believe it, you will be able to disengage from said behaviors.

If you haven't been introduced to the three C's, please allow me: You didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, you can't Cure it. This is another mantra I repeat to myself with some regularity. It helps diffuse the blame game very nicely.

Welcome to our little slice of the internet.
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