I strongly recommend reading the "stickies" at the top of this forum, particularly the "13 characteristics of ACoAs" and the "Bill of Rights". Perhaps especially the Bill of Rights.
Repeat as needed, "I have the right to not participate in the crazy making behaviors of my family." If you say it enough, you start to believe it. Once you believe it, you will be able to disengage from said behaviors.
If you haven't been introduced to the three C's, please allow me: You didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, you can't Cure it. This is another mantra I repeat to myself with some regularity. It helps diffuse the blame game very nicely.
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