Impurrfect

(((Bill))) - so glad that your first meeting with your new therapist was a good one. One thing I've learned about SR is that no matter what I have come up against in my recovery, someone here gets it and that is so much a comfort.

I don't even really belong in this area - neither parent was an A, but I've gotten a lot of great wisdom and understanding from you all, learned quite a few things (stepmom is an A), and I'm grateful to you all.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Willybluedog

You know Amy, everyone belongs here regardless of circumstances.

The fact that we all come from different backgrounds and experiences yet we all know what it's like to walk in the same pair of painful shoes gives me much comfort.

There are many people who I love, but they have no concept of the trials and tribulations we go through daily.

I look at it this way, I have two families, one is composed of biological family and friends, mostly good folks, some weak, some evil, some just sad and lost, but they for the most part have no idea what has happened behind closed doors.

Then I have my family here at Sobery Recovery, these are the battle hardened brothers and sisters who have looked the demons in the eye, some may have surrendered to them for a period of time, but most have fought them, spit on them, and laughed in their faces, the demons can control them no longer, I am so proud of this family!

We survivors share a bond that most people don't understand, I am part of something wonderful here.

I am not afraid to tell any of you that I love you, that I cry for you, that I pray for you and your families, that I feel your pain like it was my own, and I am so proud that you are my friends and my family.

Thank you Amy and everyone else for being part of my family, thank you for looking out for each other, thank you for carrying those who cannot walk alone, for saving the lives of those who had nowhere else to turn and may have ended it becuase they felt so alone.

Just thanks,

Bill

MMkM

Getting involved with their legal affairs is just another way to stay in contact with the family.

If I am understanding correctly the person who did something to you (a relative) showed up and you were expected to be there with that?

No way.

Glad you put your foot down, but how dare your father tell you that - get over it.

I think it is adding stress to you to take on this role. Is there not an attorney who could act as executor? Don't let them guilt you with this. There are others who could take on this besides you. They get paid out of the proceeds.

Impurrfect: Of course you are welcomed here. I have read some great advice from you and other people on the other family and alcoholics forum. We all share the need to have tips on how to deal with this stuff. Always love your pets in your sig line - so cute.

Impurrfect

Thanks!! I'm actually beginning to realize why I DO seem to "fit" into this forum. Stepmom has her addiction issues, even though she's not really my "mom-figure" - I love her, but we're only 15 years apart in age, and it's just not a "mom-daughter" relationship.

She was raised by alcoholics, married to an abusive alcoholic (until he died of brain cancer) and raised her 4 kids with him. She's codie-to-the-core, and my dad has become one also. She's had issues with addiction, and is now raising my niece who has been drinking since she was about 11? Dad has become a control-freak codie, and it's like the whole family is just majorly dysfunctional.

So, I'm thinking you don't have to be raised in it to be affected by it. I'm dependent on dad, thanks to the consequences of MY addiction, but I'm getting a very real glimpse into the life all of you had. One day I will get out of school, get a real job and get my own place. I'm trying to look at this as a learning experience..why I don't want to sink into codie land, why I don't want to go back into addiction, and why I must work my recoveries (addiction and codependence) with everything I've got

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

DesertEyes

Wow, Bill, that is _so_ well said. This "family" of recovery really is something unique and wonderful. This little corner of the internet has become a wonderful haven because of the members who have made it their "home". Including you, Bill, because your honesty and courage serve as an example to others who arrive in great pain, and to the many thousands who read but never post.

Recovery rocks

Mike

Willybluedog

Mike,

Thank you for your kind words, you do so much for all of us here, 3,036 posts speaks to your dedication to this site and the people who come here.

I don't know what I would do without you and so many others who have stepped up for me.

God bless you,

Bill

GingerM

I'm so glad to hear this WBD. I must have spent a month or more with nightmares and flashbacks after my dad was arrested. I eventually gave in to pharmaceuticals (the kind a doctor has ovesight on, not the kind you buy from a store) just to get more than 3-4 hours of sleep. I've been off them for a couple of months now, but in that initial stage, as much as I didn't like it, I had to.

I do hope you're managing to get, if not more, at least higher quality sleep.

I'm exceedingly glad to hear that you had a good session - good therapists are hard to find and it sounds like you found a good one right out of the gate. That will do wonders. Obviously it won't make everything go away all at once, but just having someone who can work with you as you try to navigate the fallout will be exceedingly helpful to you.

Willybluedog

Thanks Ginger,

I so appreciate the support, I take Prazosin for control of nightmares and it has done a great job until recently, it is a blood pressure medicine that they have found controls PTSD related nightmares, there are no known side-effects, it does not do anything as far as making you go to sleep, it is just a dream eliminator.

My big problem with sleep is pain control, to take enough darvocet to control my pain I have to be realy doped up (which I really hate) otherwise I sleep 2 hours, up 2 hours, and repeat.

Thanks again,

Bill

DesertEyes

Bill, pardon me if I have asked you this before. Have you visited our chronic pain forum here on SR?

Recovery and Pain Management - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Mike

Willybluedog

Mike, I have been looking around here for a page like this but had not found it, thanks so much, I will dig into it right now.

Bill

GingerM

I've been there, done that Bill. You have my sympathies. Most of the heavy duty pain killers make me ill, so I always ended up doing 800 mg ibuprofin + 2 extra strength tylenol before bed. That would usually buy me 5 - 6 hours. Not great, but better than 2 hours. Then again, some nights, I was like you - if I could get 2 hours, that was good.

I do hope you can find a way to manage the pain. I think I've tried just about every major pain killer out there (and a few weird ones that friends swore by but didn't do anything for me). Obviously, the difficult part is that the less sleep you get, the more difficult navigating problems (or functioning) becomes. With that, it's now 0430hrs and I need to go to work.

Willybluedog

Thanks Ginger, appreciate the ideas, my problem is that most of my pain is nerve pain and nothing works very well for that, I take a combo of tegretol, gabapentin, and cymbalta, with n very rare occasions darvocet when it's to the point my wife is ready to send me to the barn.

Off to work at 4:30 AM, so sorry!

Bill

GingerM

ugh. Nerve pain. ugh ugh ugh. Very many sympathies from me. Yeah, nothing really works well for that.

[warning: very very dark humor incoming] Have you considered a well sealed garage and a running engine?

At the worst of my pelvis separation, I had nerve pain radiating down both legs that felt like my thighs were literally burning. Yeah, there's not much that will touch that without knocking one unconcious (or so sayeth all the medical types, including two anesthesiologists I knew).

Sending wishes for some relief of some sort - chronic pain doesn't help with one's' coping abilities.

Willybluedog

Ginger itgot so bad at one one that I seriously considered having my left hand removed, my wife who is a RN (and normally a very calm, angelic person) went absolutlely bat-crap on me, she could not believe that I would even entertain such thoughts guess I really tried to minimize the pain and the non-stop creepy crawlies that I was feeling, then she went with me to all my doctors and went nuclear bat-crap on them. Finally they started experimenting with different meds and added a tens unit to my therapy.

It's amazing what having a nurse with you at an appointment will do for you!

Impurrfect

(((Bill))) - I can't imagine dealing with nerve pain day in and out, and give you major kudos. I'm glad your wife went with you to dr. appointments. I haven't had my nursing license since 2006, but I still know the right questions to ask and how to get someone's attention Stepmom doesn't like the fact that I know when she's abusing medications, getting the same thing from different doctors, so she stays very vague.

I keep reading about advances in "nerve issues" but sadly, it seems a long ways away until they find an answer. I truly pray for you to have some relief, but it just doesn't seem fair that, with all you have going on in your life, you have to suffer.

Mega hugs and prayers to you!

Amy

Kialua

Bill, I understand. I've been using a tens unit for my nerve pain from a foot operation for many years. The tens unit is pretty good. I seriously considered a foot amputation as well. I thought gee, these guys with those foot spring things can go mountain climbing, racing, play baseball, etc. I can't even go shopping without hanging onto a cart. They talked me out of it, they wouldn't actually do it anyway. Shoot. There is phantom pain from amputations, so what's the point of that I guess. But it's getting better, or I'm just learning to live with it.

They told me that, (I think it was) Prozac was initially developed for nerve pain (and the side affects were found to be beneficial for depression and anxiety). So they want me to consider that next.

Kialua

Bill, I understand. I've been using a tens unit for my nerve pain from a foot operation for many years. The tens unit is pretty good. I seriously considered a foot amputation as well. I thought gee, these guys with those foot spring things can go mountain climbing, racing, play baseball, etc. I can't even go shopping without hanging onto a cart. They talked me out of it, they wouldn't actually do it anyway. Shoot. There is phantom pain from amputations, so what's the point of that I guess. But it's getting better, or I'm just learning to live with it.

They told me that, (I think it was) Prozac was initially developed for nerve pain (and the side affects were found to be beneficial for depression and anxiety). So they want me to consider that next.

Kialua

double post sorry

Willybluedog

Kialua, I got no benefit for nerve pain from Prozac, but I did get some relief from Cymbalta, just recentlt switched back to Gabapentin from Lyrica, Lyrica worked well for about a year but then just seemed to stop.

They have the worst sysmptoms under control, that was in the shouder where I had the compund fracture, it felt like there were hundreds of worms crawling under the skin and in the muscles, it felt like the LSD bad trips they show on TV when the guy is trying to get the spiders off himself.

Now it's mainly numbness, tingling, little electric shocks, etc. and I drop stuff, that makes me crazy, I have to use both hands to carry my freakin coffee.

I also take tegeretol twice a day and have gotten some benefit from that as well, over the counter I have used DMSO and Bigel Oil (menthol and elderberry oil) you can get them at a feed store or probably a western store or equine store in the bigger cities. Get the gel if they have it.

Willybluedog

Amy, thanks for the post and the ongoing support.

I try to always treat my pain as a reminder that I almost died in that car crash but that God chose to let me live.

I know in my heart that I had an angel there with me that day, if you loook at the pictures of the wreck on my facebook page you wonder how anyone could walk away from that.

God bless you, dear, you are a great friend.

Big hugs to you,

Bill