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Old 08-31-2017, 03:38 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2017
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Al Anon's 12 Step Program with a Sponsor?

Hi everyone

I recently began going to Al Anon this week and am loving it. It helps me with problems I have grown up with in my family and relationships. I just wanted to ask how many of you out there have had sponsors and have gone through the steps of it all. How important is it to have a sponsor? How did you pick the right sponsor?

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Old 09-01-2017, 01:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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The steps is the program of Al Anon. A sponsor will guide you through the steps. It's important to do the steps in Al Anon and not just attend meetings. It's also important to do the steps with someone who's done them and is on the other side of them.

I was told to go to a few meetings, and listen to people's shares. If someone's shares resonated with me for whatever reason, I should ask her if she was available to take me through the step work. She didn't necessarily have to be a similar story but more that she spoke good recovery and it sounded sincere. Meaning, she walks the walks and doesn't just talk the talk.

Sometimes people have too many sponsees and may say no. Ask if she can suggest another person.

Good luck!
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Old 09-12-2017, 12:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It was important for me to have a sponsor. I went to about 5 weekly meetings before I decided to ask a lady who I admired and whose recovery shone each time she came into the room. Her husband was an addicted/alcoholic with schizophrenia and my son was an addict, so our path that brought us there was different but our recovery was really the same.

I often referred to her as a she-devil with a heart of gold. She agreed to sponsor if I would agree to complete assignments she would give me (regarding each step) and meet with her once each week between meetings to review how I was doing and for her to guide me along.

It was the best decision I ever made, to this day I am grateful that she was there when I needed someone to help me. That was 1999 I think, it seems like yesterday and yet it seems a thousand years ago.

One thing she taught me that I still do is to take time each year and once more go through each step, as it applies to my life today. As my life changes, how I work the steps and how they apply to me changes too.

Take your time but choosing a sponsor may be the best gift you give yourself.


Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.
~Thomas Moore
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I think I sat in meetings for 8 months before I sought out a sponsor. I asked a few. Some weren't prepared to do this. Some had too many sponsees. I was fired by one of them. I am thankful for their honesty. In the end, I found a great sponsor.
I wish I sought out a sponsor much earlier but each person moves at their own pace. I agree with some other comments. It's important to actually work on the steps with a sponsor. My life got better by going to meetings. My life changed when I started working the steps with a sponsor. My life changed again once I started to sponsor other fellas.
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