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Old 05-24-2010, 02:27 AM   #1 (permalink)

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wine-aholic or alcoholic ???????????

This is my first time on this (or any alcohol addiction) site.

I really dont know if im an alcoholic - im not interested in spirits, beer etc. however i feel i am addicted to wine.

i have a 3 year old son and my husband works nights, so almost every evening after my son goes to bed, i feel its 'me' time. i open a bottle of wine and have at least 2/3 glasses. if i skip a night and go to bed early, i cant sleep - so i say to myself - i have to drink wine - it helps me sleep!

when we go out for a meal - of course i drink wine - and another few glasses when we get home. i probibly drink wine 6 days out of 7.

i crave wine, the taste of it, how it relaxes me, the feelling of holding a wine glass, i associate it with happy feelings and thoughts.

however, i feel croggy in the morning, get in bad form easily, cant loose the 25lbs i need to and overall am getting a little bit depressed of the whole cycle.

but am i an alcoholic or a wine-aholic.

i just think, im here on my own in the evenings, after working a long day, my husband in work, my child asleep - surely i deserve something nice for myself...

i know my limit and strangely when we go out socialising i dont really drink wine - i would have a few vodka, i think because i enjoy socialising and dont use alcohol as a confidence booster - im quite happy to go out and sip a vodka or 2.

but at home on my own - i am using wine as my friend - my company?

every day i say - i'll be good and go to bed early and wont have a glass of wine - and then half and hour later - i cant help myself and pour a little glass... even one glass relaxes me... its like i use it as a little drug, im just so confused
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Old 05-24-2010, 02:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Wine = Alcohol.

Its like saying "Am I a fisherman or an angler?". They are one and the same.
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".
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Old 05-25-2010, 09:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hello Akiki, I think you have already answered your question by your own testimony. If you need and can't go without anything regardless of what it may be, it's a problem. And by the way, most wine has alot more alcohol then beer. I suggest getting help now. it will only increase beyond control. May God bless you and direct your path.
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Old 05-26-2010, 03:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yes wine is fairly strong alcohol. I have heard of women getting chirrosis of the liver from drinking one bottle of wine a day in a year or two. It can kill you just the same as whiskey or vodka.

I didn't usually drink spirits and the delusion that I therefore couldn't be an alcoholic nearly killed me.

If you cannot stop drinking when you don't want to drink, you have a problem, however you wish to label it.

You say that you drink the wine to be nice to yourself but you also say that you feel groggy in the morning. Why would someone make themselves feel like that every morning to be nice to themselves?

Addictions always get progressively worse. If you are addicted, what will you be drinking in a year or two in the future?

Although you may not relate to alcoholics, many alcoholics will tell you they started just like you with their drinking.
I hope you find your answers soon. Good luck.
"Know that at any moment in your life, you have the choice. You can either be a host to God,
or a hostage to your ego.
It's your call.
Stay inspired [in spirit]"
Wayne Dyer

All quotes from first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
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Old 05-26-2010, 03:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Dear Akiki,

A very warm welcome to the SR Community ! There are plenty of Irish on here and some with the exact same drinking profile as yours!! I was also a wine drinker in the evenings though I also used it as a confidence booster when socialising.. The fact that you have come to SR means you already realise you have a problem - like I did..

You will get lots of very helpful advice, assistance, support and friendship here as I have gotten since joining. I'm 108 days sober today and wouldn't be here without SR...

There's a group of newcomers meeting on a daily basis for 'breakfast' and daily support - here is the link incase you'd like to join us :-)!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2607857 (bring it on day 5).

Please stay in touch and keep posting - get it out of your system and take it day by day!!!

Big hugs mo chara,


Jesus I trust in you!

I put my trust in Thee, Heavenly Father,
and offer up to Thee the united hearts of Jesus and Mary,
the victorious, bleeding wounds of Jesus
and the tears of our beloved heavenly Mother.
Lord, may Thy will be done!
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Old 05-26-2010, 05:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Using alcohol as a way to ease stress does not mean you are alcoholic. Alcoholism has to do with losing control after one starts to drink. It's not the reason why a person drinks--for alcoholics there are no reasons. It's what happens to a person physically after they start drinking.

My suggestion would be to buy a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous and start with The Dr's Opinion. If you can identify with this book, more than likely you are alcoholic. Alcoholics tend to relate very easily. I have met a handful of non-alcoholics who did not relate to it.

Hope this helps.
All Big Book quotes taken from Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Ed.
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Old 05-26-2010, 06:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
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I can understand your confusion - do you mind me asking how old you are? Reason: in my twenties (when living in Dublin! ) I was the same as you - was quite moderate in my drinking but REALLY liked wine (only) nightly and a big 'binge' and treat for me was a whole bottle. Why I know I am an alcoholic is that :

- the wine brought bad things to me - lack of energy, lack of being connected and eventualyl - because I am alcoholic - it progressed. I felt it made me relaxed, happy and was a reward - typical alcoholic symptoms!

My advice- go without it for a month. If you can and it's relatively easy you may have this problem licked. If you can't do without it I'd check out DUblin AA meetings on google as the actual REQUIREMENT for AA is a desire to stop drinking not that you are an alcoholic - self confessed or otherwise.

Good luck!! Drinking alcohol every night is bad for anyone alcoholic or not.

Sober since 22nd March 2006 by the Grace of God and the Programs & Fellowship of AA and NA

Life is Beautiful!
Fake it til you make it...
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Old 06-03-2010, 07:08 AM   #8 (permalink)

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Your story sounds just like mine. It could have been me writing this post.
There is no difference between which drink you pick. They all result in the same.
That being said, I am at around 40 days and I can't believe the changes since cutting out the wine.
Seriously, work the steps and you'll be amazed!
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Old 06-24-2010, 01:56 PM   #9 (permalink)

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I am definitely a wine-a-holic, but have come to realize that makes me just as much an alcoholic. This is just me, though. I also drink to relieve stress, but like you, I was NEEDING it.
I haven't drank in 9 days, which doesn't seem like much, but I feel fabulous. I'm not saying it's been easy. Watching True Blood on Sunday was almost torture, since that's my red wine night. But the clearheadedness and lightheartedness I feel is worth more than the pleasure and comfort wine brings me. I just have to remember that.
Good luck with whatever path you choose.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Well done Buckly......

Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 07-04-2010, 08:03 PM   #11 (permalink)

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I have only been on this site for about a half hour and already I'm seeing people just like me. This post-is JUST like me. I keep telling myself, it's only a few glasses of wine. NOT gin (a whole bottle every night like my mom used to drink) NOT whiskey (like my dad drank daily) just wine. But I find myself having a hard time quitting it. Even though, a)it makes me feel bad the next morning b) it costs a lot, and c)now I have been prescribed a medication which says I shouldn't drink at all...so many good reasons to quit. Being honest with myself, I would say my life was better before I decided that drinking a few glasses of wine every day was good. Now, I just need to be strong enough to QUIT IT. Yes it gives you a high and helps you sleep, but everything is there the next day...
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Old 07-04-2010, 09:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
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elisa1 ...Welcome...

Glad to see a new member
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Old 07-06-2010, 10:02 AM   #13 (permalink)

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Originally Posted by Buckley View Post
I haven't drank in 9 days, ...,but I feel fabulous.
Buckley, as I see in your other post in the Newcomer section, feeling fabulous for a few days has nothing to do with whether or not one can stay sober.

That's the insanity of alcoholism. Feel better, look better, life goes better, happier, so why pick up that first drink again?

That's the whole deal with the 12 Steps. Getting the power required to never have to pick up that first drink again.

The experience from which those 12 Steps were born tells us that we're doomed to keep repeating that cycle of relapse, remorse, solemn oath over and over. That unless we can experience an entire psychic change, there is little hope of recovery.

That's the 12 Step message. Interested?
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Old 07-06-2010, 05:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome! Wine was my poison as well... and vodka!
And suddenly you know... it is time to try something new and trust in new beginnings.
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Old 08-30-2010, 02:38 PM   #15 (permalink)

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Hi and welcome!

I drank wine also. It started out so harmless but after time got out of control.

My husband and I would have such a nice time sitting out on the porch after the day was over and relax with a glass of wine. Soon it became a bottle. Then we would open a 2nd bottle. We felt we deserved it and many time said that life just wouldn't be worth living if we couldn't drink.

Of course like most people our lives were filled with stess and this was how we relaxed.

We both have quit drinking wine and he still will have some light beer but compared to what we were doing this is nothing. He doesn't seem to have the same problem with beer as we had with wine.

I think that from experience I can say that over time, even years you could end up drinking way more than you thought you would. Better to get control now.

Good luck!!!!
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Old 09-03-2010, 02:42 AM   #16 (permalink)

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Watching True Blood on Sunday was almost torture

I watched true blood sober for the first time this week, while it was nice to remember the ending in the morning, it was indeed very hard.
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:57 AM   #17 (permalink)

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Wine kicks my butt more than any "hard" liquor does. Wine is LOADED with alcohol.
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Old 09-03-2010, 01:23 PM   #18 (permalink)

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at the end, i pretty much only drank red wine. . .and some beer. But it still got me drunk, and it still got me in trouble.

Only you can answer the question as to whether you are an alcoholic. However, people without drinking problems don't typically seek out a recovery website.

just sayin
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Old 09-03-2010, 03:53 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey there & WELCOME to SR I'm Irish also so Conas ata tu a chara
For me i fought the fact that i was an alcoholic, i had the impression that an alcoholic was a person who drank out of bags in the park, grubby & homeless......that wasnt me..not yet!!!!
When drinking was costing me more than money, & it was controlling my way of life, my reactions , my capacity to live i had to accept that there was somthing wrong!!!!!
Eventually after years of trying controlled drinking & abstening for a few nights i hit my rock bottom, my life was no longer mine to control!!!!

I believe if you are questioning ure consumption, look at the unmanageabilty of ure life. For me now being an alcoholic in recovery means the only thing i cant do is drink, everything else in life is there for me!
I would suggest reading some literature and attending an open meeting to see if you can identify, because never forget,........................YOURE NEVER ALONE, we are millions!!!
I wish you the best for your path in life & drop into chat some time
if your standing with one leg in yesterday & one leg in tomorrow , you're peeing on today :p
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:43 PM   #20 (permalink)

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Wine is also my drink of choice - at least a bottle a night everynite for past five years. I am trying to quit and even went one day and felt great the next day - though had to take alot of ativan to stop the shakes that day. But then i have to take ativan to stop the shakes every morning. My moment of clarity came last Wednesday when I was taking a cab home from the bar - I had a full on seizure because I drank about 16 shots of rye whiskey in four hours - whey would they even serve me - my last memory was of the tenth one - I am scared I have damaged my brain, liver, my life. I have to quit or I am going to lose my life.
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