Irritated
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Irritated
Im so irritated, my AH had mail from his company that I handed him. While I was out of the room, but within earshot, i hear him tell my son he can have this money card that may have $1000 on it! I came in after that and saw my son with the card and asked to see it. He reluctantly gave it to me and it has $500 on it. I look at my husband and he just says its for our sons gas expenses. He's a junior in high school! Then he looks at my son and says, "uh oh, I'm in trouble with mom again!" This is money that can help us with Christmas expenses and our own gas expenses driving to see family over the holidays -- we're travelling a lot! I know what he is doing; when no one is looking he is doing what he does with me and trying to buy his sons forgiveness without having to actually say it and own up to anything -- coward. Sometimes I just don't know who this man is or where I went wrong. It disgusts me. I have 5 kids not 4. Just venting, thanks
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He's just now told me he's getting support. I asked what kind of support and he had a frown on his face so I told him never mind it's none of my business. Then with what seemed like great difficulty he says AA meetings. I don't know if I believe him or not but it doesn't matter. whatever.
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I probably should have waited but I went ahead and asked if he has been drinking today and of course he said he promised he hasn't and he's been "good" all week and he's just working hard for Christmas. I hate feeling like I'm his mommy. Again, I don't think I'm believing him and I know I need to trust my gut. I talked to him about the money card he handed our son and I'm not kidding you, the first thing out of his mouth was, "its not like I'm trying to buy him off or something!" I have NEVER accused him of that, not even with the things he buys me, so it must be his own guilt telling on him.
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You are dealing with an A, nothing is normal. It is very hard to accept the crxp that they pull. You need to step back and accept who and what he is. I am sorry, as you need to work your program has hard as you can over the holidays. That is the only thing us alanons can do for ourselves and our kids. We don't want to wind up the crazy wife of the A.
Sorry!!
Sorry!!
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I am so sorry Katchie. The thought of buying the kids makes me sick, the only thing I can say is that after watching all my siblings children with their own fathers or mothers ,kids are smart and while it may not be now they eventually figure out who or what their parents are with no help from anyone. Just keep being the great mother you are . (((((hugs))))
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Originally Posted by Katchie 
I probably should have waited but I went ahead and asked if he has been drinking today and of course he said he promised he hasn't and he's been "good" all week and he's just working hard for Christmas. I hate feeling like I'm his mommy. Again, I don't think I'm believing him and I know I need to trust my gut. I talked to him about the money card he handed our son and I'm not kidding you, the first thing out of his mouth was, "its not like I'm trying to buy him off or something!" I have NEVER accused him of that, not even with the things he buys me, so it must be his own guilt telling on him.
So, you have 5 boys for Christmas. That's a lot. Your laundry room, refrigerator and bathroom must get a workout! Living with one male is enough for me!
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Originally Posted by MissFixit
I hate gaslighting. It confused me for a long time. Not just A's but lots of manipulative people do it and I cannot stand it. Trust yourself. Do not expect him to fess up. He isn't going to without some motive.
So, you have 5 boys for Christmas. That's a lot. Your laundry room, refrigerator and bathroom must get a workout! Living with one male is enough for me!
So, you have 5 boys for Christmas. That's a lot. Your laundry room, refrigerator and bathroom must get a workout! Living with one male is enough for me!
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Gaslighting - trying to convince you that what you are seeing & hearing with your own senses isn't really happening. Which in turn & over time messes with the victim's internal wiring so much so that they lose all touch with reality & their own instincts.
10 Signs Your Man Is 'Gaslighting' You to Make You Seem Crazy | The Stir
10 Signs Your Man Is 'Gaslighting' You to Make You Seem Crazy | The Stir
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Originally Posted by Katchie
Gaslighting...I've heard, or read, that a couple of times on here from others...I'm going to have to look that one up.
A's do it with the following scenario:
"Were you drinking?"
"Ugh, no, of course not. Why do you always doubt me. Gosh, you must the one with the problem. If you loved me you would believe me."
"Oh. I must be wrong. What is wrong with me."
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