A long road - Part 2
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My friend's husband was very addicted to Warcraft and refused to get a job all while she was pregnant and working her tail off. He was a complete jerk. Finally, his parents came over and took the computer. He has never played since, got a great job and is now a wonderful father and husband. He is completely ashamed of that whole year. He is good guy but that was a bad year. 
Addiction is addiction whether it's alcohol, a substance, sex, gambling....even the internet.
Addiction is addiction whether it's alcohol, a substance, sex, gambling....even the internet.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Wow, LMN, I think that there must be a lot that I do not know about these online games. Perhaps he is caught up in a lot of that, along with online porn(he admits but its art), and his relentless drive to learn more about programming.
this gives me a bit of hope. Hes a complete jerk too, but maybe there is hope for him.
I am glad your friends hubby got straightened out!
this gives me a bit of hope. Hes a complete jerk too, but maybe there is hope for him.
I am glad your friends hubby got straightened out!
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by chicory 
Wow, LMN, I think that there must be a lot that I do not know about these online games. Perhaps he is caught up in a lot of that, along with online porn(he admits but its art), and his relentless drive to learn more about programming.
this gives me a bit of hope. Hes a complete jerk too, but maybe there is hope for him.
I am glad your friends hubby got straightened out!
this gives me a bit of hope. Hes a complete jerk too, but maybe there is hope for him.
I am glad your friends hubby got straightened out!
Oh there is so much garbage on the internet. I knew a couple of people who were completely addicted to a spades game on pogo. They were on pogo 18 hrs a day, at least. Also, I once read about a virtual realty game site. People spend so much money for virtual land. It like a different world within a world. Both of these sights are also "hook up" sites too.
Chic, don't underestimate him.....he can get on the internet....if there is a will, there is way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
The thing is he has all this entitlement, "he is angry".... he has no right to expect a free ride, he has to pull his weight, contibute and get a job.
Like all adults.
If he is programming, able to follow intricate game plans, he is capable of WORKING.
Like all adults.
If he is programming, able to follow intricate game plans, he is capable of WORKING.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I remember when I took him back in, after he had lived at the shelter, and then at the friends who rescued him from it. friend moved and he was going to be homeless again. he had been just walking the streets, friend locked him out during the day. He was so exhausted emotionally when he came here. and he agreed willingly to go to counsel, in order to stay.
he went twice for evaluation, and once for a counsel session. she left, due to an injury , and he did not make an appt with someone new. I should have been stronger then, but I was so glad to see him healing from his emotional mess, and spent time doing stuff, getting him out and he was away from drinking and was white knuckling it, I think.
got him surgery for his sinus issues-malformation of terbinators? and he felt better for a while. it drove him nutty for years and years. still isn't right, but some better. indigent services can be less than adequate, sometimes.
anyway,yes, he can do a lot of amazing things. he is a hard worker, and able . its very sad to see this sort of waste.
I know I cannot fix him. but I can stop enabling his addictions. I have to remember that its the loving thing to do. even though he thinks I am the most vile, crazy,evil manipulator in the world right now.
hugs
he went twice for evaluation, and once for a counsel session. she left, due to an injury , and he did not make an appt with someone new. I should have been stronger then, but I was so glad to see him healing from his emotional mess, and spent time doing stuff, getting him out and he was away from drinking and was white knuckling it, I think.
got him surgery for his sinus issues-malformation of terbinators? and he felt better for a while. it drove him nutty for years and years. still isn't right, but some better. indigent services can be less than adequate, sometimes.
anyway,yes, he can do a lot of amazing things. he is a hard worker, and able . its very sad to see this sort of waste.
I know I cannot fix him. but I can stop enabling his addictions. I have to remember that its the loving thing to do. even though he thinks I am the most vile, crazy,evil manipulator in the world right now.
hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I will turn this around...He is manipulating his own mother who saved his buttisimo more than once, who loves him to the point where she goes without and ruins her health. and she didn't do this to harm him, she just didn't know what else to do.
Repaying you and honoring your should be his top priority, if he has anger, it is directed at the wrong person, he can look in the mirror.
pull the plug mama, had him over to God, HP, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, he is stealing your life and joy, upsetting your stomach and verbally abusing you.
if you can, spend a lot of time outside the house this week. don't argue with him.
Repaying you and honoring your should be his top priority, if he has anger, it is directed at the wrong person, he can look in the mirror.
pull the plug mama, had him over to God, HP, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, he is stealing your life and joy, upsetting your stomach and verbally abusing you.
if you can, spend a lot of time outside the house this week. don't argue with him.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
chicory......I care. I would like to see your son get help and for you to be free of these mental burdens. It sounds like he has talents that could be used for very gainful employment if he had job training and placement (among other things). He has also shown that leverage works with him---from his last experience with homelessness.
Boundaries have to be absolute if they are to be effective.
Chicory....I really do fear that you have enforced a toothless boundary. I just see him wiggling his way all around this "partial internet". He sounds too smart to fall for this!
Chicory--remember when my computer crashed, last week? The technician that fixed it (replaced it) discovered that a neighbor is using (stealing) my internet!!!!!!!!!!!!
The boundary of "no internet" means NO INTERNET. He is just going to be reinforced that your words are hollow. And, nothing changes!!
There has just got to be a way to turn the internet off and have portable technology for yourself.
Did the internet service twist your arm because they are afraid of losing you as a customer? Loosing you money?
Are you afraid of him hurting you if you have a mobile device and he doesn't?
These are just questions that are running through my mind, right now.
It is not too late to "shore up" your boundary. I strongly suggest that you establish a time, for certain, next week for the internet to be turned completely off.
I do believe that it is turn over more rocks time...and, find someone who is knowlegable about technology to advise you on how to handle this from a technology point of view. Most all youngsters know more than I do about it!!!!!! Seriously. Sometimes, we have to go to others for the help that we need.
Chicory.....you have a goal for him to be living independently, and, for you to get your life back. You have made a remarkable start towards this. Please don't put this goal in jeopardy by dropping the ball in the first quarter.
Let this be a bump in the road, rather than the end of the road.
Remember that if Curling can become an Olympic sport.....then, all things are possible!.
dandylion
Boundaries have to be absolute if they are to be effective.
Chicory....I really do fear that you have enforced a toothless boundary. I just see him wiggling his way all around this "partial internet". He sounds too smart to fall for this!
Chicory--remember when my computer crashed, last week? The technician that fixed it (replaced it) discovered that a neighbor is using (stealing) my internet!!!!!!!!!!!!
The boundary of "no internet" means NO INTERNET. He is just going to be reinforced that your words are hollow. And, nothing changes!!
There has just got to be a way to turn the internet off and have portable technology for yourself.
Did the internet service twist your arm because they are afraid of losing you as a customer? Loosing you money?
Are you afraid of him hurting you if you have a mobile device and he doesn't?
These are just questions that are running through my mind, right now.
It is not too late to "shore up" your boundary. I strongly suggest that you establish a time, for certain, next week for the internet to be turned completely off.
I do believe that it is turn over more rocks time...and, find someone who is knowlegable about technology to advise you on how to handle this from a technology point of view. Most all youngsters know more than I do about it!!!!!! Seriously. Sometimes, we have to go to others for the help that we need.
Chicory.....you have a goal for him to be living independently, and, for you to get your life back. You have made a remarkable start towards this. Please don't put this goal in jeopardy by dropping the ball in the first quarter.
Let this be a bump in the road, rather than the end of the road.
Remember that if Curling can become an Olympic sport.....then, all things are possible!.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Today I think he must have sold something for some beer. he has lots of extra computer stuff, and he went down the street yesterday, probably the guy who he has done computer work for.
he seemed to be napping, until a few minutes ago. I heard a loudish noise, and came out of my room to investigate. Asked him if he heard anything. he was sullen and said, " I always hear things". I just acted like nothing, and said "Ok, just thought I heard a door". Went back in my room. And here he comes, starting his crap. Said, " I was just expressing my frustrations about not being able to talk to my friends, and blah blah blah. I made no reply.
I am just so so tired of his stuff. mentally off kilter or no..he is raising my bp, my chest feels this anxiety, as soon as I hear him being mad.
If he starts being more destructive, I guess I will call the mental clinic. I wonder if it should be the police, but hate to do that, if he has mental issues. I am sure the jails are full of people who have mental issues, though. they would arrest him , if he does something physical, which actually, I would have the police come then. But police wont arrest him unless he is causing a disturbance, to the neighbors, or destroying property lik
he just came to my door and said You are a f-ing evil c---.is it time to call them? or do i try to ignore?
he seemed to be napping, until a few minutes ago. I heard a loudish noise, and came out of my room to investigate. Asked him if he heard anything. he was sullen and said, " I always hear things". I just acted like nothing, and said "Ok, just thought I heard a door". Went back in my room. And here he comes, starting his crap. Said, " I was just expressing my frustrations about not being able to talk to my friends, and blah blah blah. I made no reply.
I am just so so tired of his stuff. mentally off kilter or no..he is raising my bp, my chest feels this anxiety, as soon as I hear him being mad.
If he starts being more destructive, I guess I will call the mental clinic. I wonder if it should be the police, but hate to do that, if he has mental issues. I am sure the jails are full of people who have mental issues, though. they would arrest him , if he does something physical, which actually, I would have the police come then. But police wont arrest him unless he is causing a disturbance, to the neighbors, or destroying property lik
he just came to my door and said You are a f-ing evil c---.is it time to call them? or do i try to ignore?
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
Chicory..please do not take chances..you know if this is the usual or
otherwise when he gets angry..so make a call to your daughter/s and
pack an overnight bag..just be safe..he has had something taken away
and violence could be his next move..
Don't second guess this..I agree to not engage verbally..yet have a plan!
otherwise when he gets angry..so make a call to your daughter/s and
pack an overnight bag..just be safe..he has had something taken away
and violence could be his next move..
Don't second guess this..I agree to not engage verbally..yet have a plan!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I agree, call your daughter and your son in law, it is waay waay past time to consider his feelings...NO ONE CAN CALL YOU THESE NAMES....IT IS WRONG TO BEGIN WITH.
if he is drunk, it is a nasty combination that could result in him hurting you. PLEASE don't put up with this garbage. call your son in law, NOW.
scratch that, get in the car and go now, just go, take your stuff quickly, tell them in person.
if he is drunk, it is a nasty combination that could result in him hurting you. PLEASE don't put up with this garbage. call your son in law, NOW.
scratch that, get in the car and go now, just go, take your stuff quickly, tell them in person.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
he began to kick stuff, yelling, calling names, I smelled beer.
I told him I am not going to take this. I picked up the phone to call mental crisis line, but hit 911 first, hung up before the first ring.
called crisis, talked a few minutes, they suggest calling police, since he is being what they call violent. He said he was leaving, took off. Police showed up and talked to me for 1/2 hour. a cop I know from work-he is sometimes security police for us. he is sons age. He was so kind. said that I sound like a battered woman...but first he shared his life. told me that if he was my son , he would want me to file a report, and have him arrested for domestic violence. because of his off hand remark yesterday, saying he hated to say it, but I could use some sense slapped into me. then today, in my face calling me the worst of names. never raised a hand to me and at no time did I feel he would.
cop said he could arrest him, he would sit in jail til mon., and a restraining order would be placed, until he goes to court. he could not come back, until what ever happens at court. I could not bring myself to do this . I did promise him however that if this happened again tonight, I would do it. He shared some stuff about his life,,, his mom a coke addict, he was beaten by numerous stepdads, but never once called his mom a name.
I just wanted son to get mental help, first, before going this step. but he is just pushing this issue. He has been drinking. saw the beer in his room nasty old quart of milwaukee.
he came back about 10 minutes after the cop left. He asked if I was going to call the bullies again. still spewing nastiness. I was on phone with daughter then, and she heard it too.
we are coming to the decision that it is out of our hands almost, that he is going down this road all on his own ... drinking doesn't help.
he came a minute ago, saying I wasn't the mom who raised him. that was I gonna call the flunkies again, and give him three more useless days in jail. he isn't drunk, but that "mean, been drinking ,and pizzed because theres no more beer" state.
so, if he does anymore destructive stuff, or tries threatening me again, I will call the police and have him thrown out. the cop agrees that this town heroin is bad.. its like pot used to be, available and everyone does it. it is horrid in this town. poor slummy place.
but, if he does it, its not me who makes him. he will be making those choices all on his own. he could just as easily decide to ask for help, stay at the shelter, and go to "Work Place One.
Maybe he wants to self destruct.
My heart was beating like a drum, and I am just not believing this.
He is being really quiet and not going too far with what he says, but its early.
I hate this, but its what is going on. I appreciate your help...I just can't understand.
I told him I am not going to take this. I picked up the phone to call mental crisis line, but hit 911 first, hung up before the first ring.
called crisis, talked a few minutes, they suggest calling police, since he is being what they call violent. He said he was leaving, took off. Police showed up and talked to me for 1/2 hour. a cop I know from work-he is sometimes security police for us. he is sons age. He was so kind. said that I sound like a battered woman...but first he shared his life. told me that if he was my son , he would want me to file a report, and have him arrested for domestic violence. because of his off hand remark yesterday, saying he hated to say it, but I could use some sense slapped into me. then today, in my face calling me the worst of names. never raised a hand to me and at no time did I feel he would.
cop said he could arrest him, he would sit in jail til mon., and a restraining order would be placed, until he goes to court. he could not come back, until what ever happens at court. I could not bring myself to do this . I did promise him however that if this happened again tonight, I would do it. He shared some stuff about his life,,, his mom a coke addict, he was beaten by numerous stepdads, but never once called his mom a name.
I just wanted son to get mental help, first, before going this step. but he is just pushing this issue. He has been drinking. saw the beer in his room nasty old quart of milwaukee.
he came back about 10 minutes after the cop left. He asked if I was going to call the bullies again. still spewing nastiness. I was on phone with daughter then, and she heard it too.
we are coming to the decision that it is out of our hands almost, that he is going down this road all on his own ... drinking doesn't help.
he came a minute ago, saying I wasn't the mom who raised him. that was I gonna call the flunkies again, and give him three more useless days in jail. he isn't drunk, but that "mean, been drinking ,and pizzed because theres no more beer" state.
so, if he does anymore destructive stuff, or tries threatening me again, I will call the police and have him thrown out. the cop agrees that this town heroin is bad.. its like pot used to be, available and everyone does it. it is horrid in this town. poor slummy place.
but, if he does it, its not me who makes him. he will be making those choices all on his own. he could just as easily decide to ask for help, stay at the shelter, and go to "Work Place One.
Maybe he wants to self destruct.
My heart was beating like a drum, and I am just not believing this.
He is being really quiet and not going too far with what he says, but its early.
I hate this, but its what is going on. I appreciate your help...I just can't understand.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
call them, he's drunk and angry and apt to hurt you in his frustration. maybe a night in jail will let him know there's serious consequences to his actions.
Darling, dear, chicory! Please get some help to keep you safe!
Much, much love from Lenina
Darling, dear, chicory! Please get some help to keep you safe!
Much, much love from Lenina
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
Originally Posted by Fandy
It's YOUR house, you do what is needed. He is simply throwing a tantrum and not getting his way.-- this is what ADDICTS DO BEST
it's not your son's business how you spend your hard earned money, he certainly is not contributing to the household.
you have nothing to feel guilty about, he has had a very soft life and keeping it that way won't help him or you...You have reached your saturation point, the sponge is soggy and dripping. You said enough and stayed strong, he is holding his breath waiting for you to stop him from turning blue.
He is very smart and manipulative, he is hitting below the belt with the nasty remarks, you expect that from a 12 year old not an adult. He wants what he wants--this is what ADDICTS DO BEST
it's not your son's business how you spend your hard earned money, he certainly is not contributing to the household.
you have nothing to feel guilty about, he has had a very soft life and keeping it that way won't help him or you...You have reached your saturation point, the sponge is soggy and dripping. You said enough and stayed strong, he is holding his breath waiting for you to stop him from turning blue.
He is very smart and manipulative, he is hitting below the belt with the nasty remarks, you expect that from a 12 year old not an adult. He wants what he wants--this is what ADDICTS DO BEST
I have a back bone, yes...and you are not helping him any by YOUR GUILT on not "being" the best mom for him growing up....i feel you are keeping him there STUCK with you in this cycle...only you can brake the cycle...LET HIM GO...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Chicory, it's possible the judge would order him into therapy. very possible. It might take that to make your son realize there are consequence. all he had to do was get a job and pull his own weight for a very cushy life. jail may be the best thing. hey, my sibs survived jail. In fact, that's what got them help! But that didn't really happen until Mom passed over.
I think this is a gift. Please do it.
Love from Lenina
I think this is a gift. Please do it.
Love from Lenina
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
I just don't know what to say chic. I'm heartsick for you, and praying hard for a good outcome. I'm thankful you've been sharing your feelings here and not trying to bear the burden all alone. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Chic, he has verbally abused you, even the police have said it. If you do not want to remove him from the house, pleas leave, bring the disabled cat in his carrier and go to your daughters.
you are going to have a flipping panic attack, your bp is probably through the roof and you cannot function or think in this terrible abusive atmosphere. HE has NO RIGHT to abuse his mother. let him go, you have to, because he is dragging you into an early grave just from the stress.
Chic, I am going to say what so many others have said to help people. If your daughter called you and told you HER adult child or adult step child was treating her this way, you would be HORRIFIED. we are horrified for you, we care and we can see what you can't right now. He could come into your room and beat you while you sleep, he is THAT pizzed off.
you are going to have a flipping panic attack, your bp is probably through the roof and you cannot function or think in this terrible abusive atmosphere. HE has NO RIGHT to abuse his mother. let him go, you have to, because he is dragging you into an early grave just from the stress.
Chic, I am going to say what so many others have said to help people. If your daughter called you and told you HER adult child or adult step child was treating her this way, you would be HORRIFIED. we are horrified for you, we care and we can see what you can't right now. He could come into your room and beat you while you sleep, he is THAT pizzed off.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Ok, fourmaggie, I am gonna address what you say. I have heard it before from someone else here.
First... That I am keeping him stuck with me in this cycle. Do you mean this as if this is my dream? Do you think this was my problem that brought him here? Do you think I enjoy this, or find some sort of satisfaction from it? Do you think that I tell him to stay, or make him think that its normal or ok?
Secondly...That I am doing this because of guilt over not being the best mom. Well, I do hate that I did not teach him to be more self sufficient, but my girls turned out wonderful, responsible, and we have the closest relationship that you could want.
I feel guilt that I did not get him some therapy, or have him evaluated young in life.. I feel almost guilty that I wasn't smart enough to realize that he needed it, but, that isn't my fault, really. I did what I knew how to do. I loved them completely, and thought that was enough. my parents were both alcoholics, and I wanted to love my children in the way that I always wanted to be loved. turns out I did not know healthy boundaries, and my son has some sort of mental personality disorder, and I wasn't equipped to see it. He was so smart, in gifted classes, given special assignments by several teachers.
I think I made him think he was special, smart, gifted, everything he did wonderful...I don't know. I do think I have some responsibility for his attitude towards me. I did not hold good boundaries. I raised three children alone. with no good jobs. dad is a piece of work who has always undermined me to my kids. has always disrespected me to my son. and son spews that to me when hes mad. when he isn't , he seems to adore me and always listens to how I am feeling or what is bothering me. he does have a heart, but like a jekyll and hyde. wow, how someone can act when you take their drug away.
I know you speak from your experience in recovery groups, and I am sure you don't mean to imply that I get a charge from this. But I really do not understand that implication. If your son grows up and goes the wrong way, and you try to help, maybe for longer than you should, would you think that you were doing it for some sort of acclaim? or that you were keeping him in that situation for your own selfish reasons?
I think there is a better way to say it, that I am a coward and am hurting him by not making the smart decisions. I have enabled for too long. I fear him dying, since he has no common sense, believe me. no one in the family thinks he could survive. but we are all reaching the point where we are seeing that there isn't much choice, he is forcing my hand, and maybe, it will be what helps. but I cannot say that it does not frighten me out of my skin. I do not want my son to die under a bridge, and it has happened. will I be able to live with myself if it did? no. but will it happen? probably not... but the fear if it is horrible.
Yes, this may be a gift.
If I am anything , it is that I am a person who has been treated as a nonperson from the get go, and it is easy to sacrifice my happiness for the safety of someone I love. happiness is optional. but, who knows.. maybe he will manage, and grow up if he gets enough hard knocks.
I have been homeless as a child, we had to live with family. so I know how it feels to have nothing, and how good it felt to have a bed to sleep in , and food to eat, and love around us. I think that is where my deepest fears control me.
First... That I am keeping him stuck with me in this cycle. Do you mean this as if this is my dream? Do you think this was my problem that brought him here? Do you think I enjoy this, or find some sort of satisfaction from it? Do you think that I tell him to stay, or make him think that its normal or ok?
Secondly...That I am doing this because of guilt over not being the best mom. Well, I do hate that I did not teach him to be more self sufficient, but my girls turned out wonderful, responsible, and we have the closest relationship that you could want.
I feel guilt that I did not get him some therapy, or have him evaluated young in life.. I feel almost guilty that I wasn't smart enough to realize that he needed it, but, that isn't my fault, really. I did what I knew how to do. I loved them completely, and thought that was enough. my parents were both alcoholics, and I wanted to love my children in the way that I always wanted to be loved. turns out I did not know healthy boundaries, and my son has some sort of mental personality disorder, and I wasn't equipped to see it. He was so smart, in gifted classes, given special assignments by several teachers.
I think I made him think he was special, smart, gifted, everything he did wonderful...I don't know. I do think I have some responsibility for his attitude towards me. I did not hold good boundaries. I raised three children alone. with no good jobs. dad is a piece of work who has always undermined me to my kids. has always disrespected me to my son. and son spews that to me when hes mad. when he isn't , he seems to adore me and always listens to how I am feeling or what is bothering me. he does have a heart, but like a jekyll and hyde. wow, how someone can act when you take their drug away.
I know you speak from your experience in recovery groups, and I am sure you don't mean to imply that I get a charge from this. But I really do not understand that implication. If your son grows up and goes the wrong way, and you try to help, maybe for longer than you should, would you think that you were doing it for some sort of acclaim? or that you were keeping him in that situation for your own selfish reasons?
I think there is a better way to say it, that I am a coward and am hurting him by not making the smart decisions. I have enabled for too long. I fear him dying, since he has no common sense, believe me. no one in the family thinks he could survive. but we are all reaching the point where we are seeing that there isn't much choice, he is forcing my hand, and maybe, it will be what helps. but I cannot say that it does not frighten me out of my skin. I do not want my son to die under a bridge, and it has happened. will I be able to live with myself if it did? no. but will it happen? probably not... but the fear if it is horrible.
Yes, this may be a gift.
If I am anything , it is that I am a person who has been treated as a nonperson from the get go, and it is easy to sacrifice my happiness for the safety of someone I love. happiness is optional. but, who knows.. maybe he will manage, and grow up if he gets enough hard knocks.
I have been homeless as a child, we had to live with family. so I know how it feels to have nothing, and how good it felt to have a bed to sleep in , and food to eat, and love around us. I think that is where my deepest fears control me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
a night or 3 in lock up is not a torture chamber. He might get a headache if he is used to caffeine, that's it.
I have never told this here before but 3 different times on domestic calls I made, the cops called it he said, she said and we BOTH got locked up even tho I was the victim.
Spending a night in jail is not really a very big deal in the overall scheme of things.
I think this is exactly where he belongs as a consequence of his behavior. Then don't go running to bail him out.
He will get his meds, fed 3 meals a day and have a bed and will be safe.
I think you have an irrational fear about it. Try to set that aside.
He should leave the house for acting this way, not you.
Can you call them back and change your mind????
I have never told this here before but 3 different times on domestic calls I made, the cops called it he said, she said and we BOTH got locked up even tho I was the victim.
Spending a night in jail is not really a very big deal in the overall scheme of things.
I think this is exactly where he belongs as a consequence of his behavior. Then don't go running to bail him out.
He will get his meds, fed 3 meals a day and have a bed and will be safe.
I think you have an irrational fear about it. Try to set that aside.
He should leave the house for acting this way, not you.
Can you call them back and change your mind????
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