Most likely it is because you are putting them in check for threir behavior/addiction. They have to confront what they are doing insead of denying it.
What do you think is best for you and your life? Where do you see yourself in 2 years? 7yrs? 20yrs? Does an A fit into those plans?
If he does not want to be together than give him some space. Let him work his program. There is nothjing saying you can't get back to gether later if he stays sober.
Only he can decide how his recovery will go
I would suggest trying Al-anon and educating yourself about the disease
It is very helpful!