One Year and Under Club Part 43
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One Year and Under Club Part 43
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Morning Undies,
Hey Drake, where the heck did that "book jacket" pic pose go? Lookin good and published, dude. Return that Avatar!
Ahhh, made it to another new thread...thanks, Dee.
So I'm off to my usual Tuesday night mtg last night, get in the car, look at the clock, and realize I would be late, AGAIN. Ah ha, I will go to the mtg that starts a half hour later at the rehab facility in town instead. Only have been there once previously and heard a great lead speaker.
Even though it is at a rehab, this particular mtg is in an off-site bldg, run and attended by our local district. About 25 in attendance, 10 or so from the rehab. We decide to discuss Step 1, "We admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable."
Through no driven intent, we seem to traverse through the first many shares with those of us with some sober time behind us. Great shares seem to follow one another. I particularly liked M's share on how at 48 years old, forced to that rehab by hubby and kids 5 years earlier, she first of all realized she was an alkie. Next, she learned it was a disease and it wasn't anything she was doing wrong. Then she opened her mind to the fact that her "will power" will always lose to something that makes you powerless.
She continues by quoting the beginning of HOW IT WORKS, read at every meeting...however, how often is it actually listened to? "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."
So simple and so true---FOR ME---I am following this very simple path while finally learning to be HONEST WITH MYSELF FIRST, then others.
While not remembering or really even hearing that first sentence in "How It Works" at my first AA mtg, what I did hear, what struck me was a share about becoming RIGOROUSLY HONEST and that we are ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS.
For me, again, MY recovery began that first night when I pledged to myself to stop with the secrets....ESPECIALLY THE ONES MY DISEASE HAD ME TELLING MYSELF.
So now the rehab folks start to share. To the person they thank us for sharing our strength and hope. They share a lot in rehab, but mostly the experiences that got them there...we offered strength and hope and it was amazing how that resonated with them. They clung to us like we were magnetic when the meeting ended.
I am printing out a meeting list for the last fellow that shared who started to cry when he said that he was heading home next Monday and was sooo afraid to go back. His hometown is a couple hours away and it seems that this rehab plans to drop him at the bus station with a handshake and a good luck, dude. So sad, if true? Anyway, at very least he will have a local meeting list and my name and number.
Thank you UNIVERSE for having me running late last night so that I could attend that extremely powerful meeting!
Enjoy the day, all.
Carlos
Hey Drake, where the heck did that "book jacket" pic pose go? Lookin good and published, dude. Return that Avatar!
Ahhh, made it to another new thread...thanks, Dee.
So I'm off to my usual Tuesday night mtg last night, get in the car, look at the clock, and realize I would be late, AGAIN. Ah ha, I will go to the mtg that starts a half hour later at the rehab facility in town instead. Only have been there once previously and heard a great lead speaker.
Even though it is at a rehab, this particular mtg is in an off-site bldg, run and attended by our local district. About 25 in attendance, 10 or so from the rehab. We decide to discuss Step 1, "We admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable."
Through no driven intent, we seem to traverse through the first many shares with those of us with some sober time behind us. Great shares seem to follow one another. I particularly liked M's share on how at 48 years old, forced to that rehab by hubby and kids 5 years earlier, she first of all realized she was an alkie. Next, she learned it was a disease and it wasn't anything she was doing wrong. Then she opened her mind to the fact that her "will power" will always lose to something that makes you powerless.
She continues by quoting the beginning of HOW IT WORKS, read at every meeting...however, how often is it actually listened to? "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."
So simple and so true---FOR ME---I am following this very simple path while finally learning to be HONEST WITH MYSELF FIRST, then others.
While not remembering or really even hearing that first sentence in "How It Works" at my first AA mtg, what I did hear, what struck me was a share about becoming RIGOROUSLY HONEST and that we are ONLY AS SICK AS OUR SECRETS.
For me, again, MY recovery began that first night when I pledged to myself to stop with the secrets....ESPECIALLY THE ONES MY DISEASE HAD ME TELLING MYSELF.
So now the rehab folks start to share. To the person they thank us for sharing our strength and hope. They share a lot in rehab, but mostly the experiences that got them there...we offered strength and hope and it was amazing how that resonated with them. They clung to us like we were magnetic when the meeting ended.
I am printing out a meeting list for the last fellow that shared who started to cry when he said that he was heading home next Monday and was sooo afraid to go back. His hometown is a couple hours away and it seems that this rehab plans to drop him at the bus station with a handshake and a good luck, dude. So sad, if true? Anyway, at very least he will have a local meeting list and my name and number.
Thank you UNIVERSE for having me running late last night so that I could attend that extremely powerful meeting!
Enjoy the day, all.
Carlos
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Drake you stinker---I liked that mug picture.
Carlos---wow!! what a post---I loved it. You are a good leader.
got some sleep last night guys and feeling pretty darn good today.
Just got done shoveling the driveway and now going to bake some banana bread.
I mentioned this on another posts too so, now I will finish my to do list today and I
plan on doing more things but, not going to brag about it cause it hasn't happened yet,
You know how you wake up in the morning and you have all these great plans of getting things done and then some how you poop out? well, I'm going to keep going before I loose my energy. Have a great day everyone. I don't have spell check so, please excuse my spelling.
Hugs
Babs
Carlos---wow!! what a post---I loved it. You are a good leader.
got some sleep last night guys and feeling pretty darn good today.
Just got done shoveling the driveway and now going to bake some banana bread.
I mentioned this on another posts too so, now I will finish my to do list today and I
plan on doing more things but, not going to brag about it cause it hasn't happened yet,
You know how you wake up in the morning and you have all these great plans of getting things done and then some how you poop out? well, I'm going to keep going before I loose my energy. Have a great day everyone. I don't have spell check so, please excuse my spelling.
Hugs
Babs
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by Babs1234 
Drake you stinker---I liked that mug picture.
Carlos---wow!! what a post---I loved it. You are a good leader.
got some sleep last night guys and feeling pretty darn good today.
Just got done shoveling the driveway and now going to bake some banana bread.
I mentioned this on another posts too so, now I will finish my to do list today and I
plan on doing more things but, not going to brag about it cause it hasn't happened yet,
You know how you wake up in the morning and you have all these great plans of getting things done and then some how you poop out? well, I'm going to keep going before I loose my energy. Have a great day everyone. I don't have spell check so, please excuse my spelling.
Hugs
Babs
Carlos---wow!! what a post---I loved it. You are a good leader.
got some sleep last night guys and feeling pretty darn good today.
Just got done shoveling the driveway and now going to bake some banana bread.
I mentioned this on another posts too so, now I will finish my to do list today and I
plan on doing more things but, not going to brag about it cause it hasn't happened yet,
You know how you wake up in the morning and you have all these great plans of getting things done and then some how you poop out? well, I'm going to keep going before I loose my energy. Have a great day everyone. I don't have spell check so, please excuse my spelling.
Hugs
Babs
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Carlos, very powerful post! It describes so well the power of a group of alcoholics committed to sobriety!
Drake, I really liked your "mug shot" but understand the need to not leave it up :-). And I agree with SL that the penguin is cute, too.
Babs, it sounds like you've got a plan for today! Keep it up.
I'm having some challenges with facing the fact that I'm aging and my future life span will be much shorter than my past. Although it seems obvious, living in a retirement community really drives home that point. I still feel good about my choice but it will take more time than I realized to feel comfortable about it.
Drake, I really liked your "mug shot" but understand the need to not leave it up :-). And I agree with SL that the penguin is cute, too.
Babs, it sounds like you've got a plan for today! Keep it up.
I'm having some challenges with facing the fact that I'm aging and my future life span will be much shorter than my past. Although it seems obvious, living in a retirement community really drives home that point. I still feel good about my choice but it will take more time than I realized to feel comfortable about it.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Undies
Babs - I'm happy to hear that you've got a game plan for your day. When I stopped drinking, I struggled to find motivation to get anything done. As a Type A person my whole life, my lack of motivation in recovery taught me that I don't always have to accomplish something, that there's value in just being. I hope you enjoyed your day!
Drake - Thanks for giving us that little insight into you. The penguin is cute, too, though.
Saskia - I can only imagine what living in a retirement community does to your personal sense of mortality. At my previous job, the owners turned 70 and 75 last year. The 75 year old was still wonderful and relevant in the classroom, and her 70 year old business partner, who did the administrative side of things, can lame rap circles around most people. Their joints are creaky, their friends are passing away, but for them the next right thing to do is work in an industry that they love. What do you suppose your next right thing is to do?
Carlos - What a great meeting! The proclamations in the Big Book can sound so grand commanding at first, but as the principles have slowly and gently entered my life, I've seen only improvement. Honesty isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do. It sure makes me able to sleep at night.
"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."
Today was a difficult day for me. My little guy was sick, and my crazy hypochondriac voice rattled in my head with worst case scenarios. I was resentful that I couldn't spend the day at home fretting about him. I had to go to work instead and when I found myself frustrated about it... I hit the reset button. I had to hit the reset button a bunch of times today, when "rigorously honest" examination uncovered that I was feeling resentful or acting out on my resentment.
When I first shared this story, I blamed my crazy hypochondriac mother for placing the catastrophic worst case scenarios in my head. I could theorize for days as to why I have this pattern of unhealthy worry. Upon reflection, I see that it's ME who's a bit of a hypochondriac. It doesn't matter why. Instead of resenting my mother for teaching me how to be a hypochondriac, which will just set me up to repeat the cycle next time one of my kiddoes is sick, "rigorously honest" examination uncovers that I need to change my pattern of anxious worry over a simple flu.
Dropping the rock is a simple act that requires honesty. It feels so freeing to drop those rocks, to let go of the resentments and anxiety that consumed me, that I allowed to direct my behavior for so many years. That's what giving myself to the program looks like.
Babs - I'm happy to hear that you've got a game plan for your day. When I stopped drinking, I struggled to find motivation to get anything done. As a Type A person my whole life, my lack of motivation in recovery taught me that I don't always have to accomplish something, that there's value in just being. I hope you enjoyed your day!
Drake - Thanks for giving us that little insight into you. The penguin is cute, too, though.
Saskia - I can only imagine what living in a retirement community does to your personal sense of mortality. At my previous job, the owners turned 70 and 75 last year. The 75 year old was still wonderful and relevant in the classroom, and her 70 year old business partner, who did the administrative side of things, can lame rap circles around most people. Their joints are creaky, their friends are passing away, but for them the next right thing to do is work in an industry that they love. What do you suppose your next right thing is to do?
Carlos - What a great meeting! The proclamations in the Big Book can sound so grand commanding at first, but as the principles have slowly and gently entered my life, I've seen only improvement. Honesty isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do. It sure makes me able to sleep at night.
"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."
Today was a difficult day for me. My little guy was sick, and my crazy hypochondriac voice rattled in my head with worst case scenarios. I was resentful that I couldn't spend the day at home fretting about him. I had to go to work instead and when I found myself frustrated about it... I hit the reset button. I had to hit the reset button a bunch of times today, when "rigorously honest" examination uncovered that I was feeling resentful or acting out on my resentment.
When I first shared this story, I blamed my crazy hypochondriac mother for placing the catastrophic worst case scenarios in my head. I could theorize for days as to why I have this pattern of unhealthy worry. Upon reflection, I see that it's ME who's a bit of a hypochondriac. It doesn't matter why. Instead of resenting my mother for teaching me how to be a hypochondriac, which will just set me up to repeat the cycle next time one of my kiddoes is sick, "rigorously honest" examination uncovers that I need to change my pattern of anxious worry over a simple flu.
Dropping the rock is a simple act that requires honesty. It feels so freeing to drop those rocks, to let go of the resentments and anxiety that consumed me, that I allowed to direct my behavior for so many years. That's what giving myself to the program looks like.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Babs banana bread sounds yummy!
Sass maybe taking up a fun hobby will keep you feeling younger!
Carlos what an awesome meeting!
GF hope your son feels better soon. I've been surrounded by sick people at work keeping my fingers crossed I don't catch anything.
I am absolutely exhausted today. It's almost 7 and I'm ready for bed!
Sass maybe taking up a fun hobby will keep you feeling younger!
Carlos what an awesome meeting!
GF hope your son feels better soon. I've been surrounded by sick people at work keeping my fingers crossed I don't catch anything.
I am absolutely exhausted today. It's almost 7 and I'm ready for bed!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Posts: 12,168
BeFree I too was exhausted last night and had an early night, I woke before the alarm today and went for a run. I realise that I need to get myself into a specific daily routine and to stop the bad eating habits I picked up in the holidays. Out with the processed in with the cave(woman) diet!
GF, I don't know a woman who doesn't have a little hypochondria when a child gets ill, I think running through worse case scenarios helps us to prepare for anything. It is only a problem if you get stuck in that way of thinking and actually believe that what is a faint possibility is in fact a serious probability. It doesn't sound like you are allowing yourself that. It is also perfectly understandable that you should resent the need to be at work when your child needs you, so stop being so hard on yourself, your feelings and thoughs are only natural. We are allowed to be resentful and out of sorts, it is a human condition not an addictive problem.
Carlos, isn't it wonderful how frequently fate (or HP) puts us right where we need to be. I read a book recently that refreshed my mind to a saying I heard a long time ago 'when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear' all too often we are not ready for the basic teachings of life, not willing to absorb the simple truths. Because life is about simple truths, we complicate it overly, but in essence life is simple. Someone further down the path of knowledge, be it M who reminded you of the words of the phrase you spoke by rote, or whether it is you offering hope to someone at the start of recovery, there is frequently a teacher there, if we are willing to be pupil and learn.
Sass darling, nothing like living in a retirement community for being forced to confront our own mortality! I guess you need to keep in mind that it isn't how much time you have left, but how you chose to fill it.
twice this week I have been shocked into considering my own mortality. At work a patient I have long admired ( and envied) for her beauty, togetherness, style and lovely personality, told me she was starting chemo this week. She says she is lucky and has a good prognosis, but it brought home how we never know what someone we think has it all is going through.
Also my SIL who just over a year ago had to cope with the loss of my BIL, told me she has breast cancer. I will be there for her in any capacity, practical and emotional but it all reminds me, there are no guarantees in life. Stopping drinking isn't enough, we need to get out there and live as if today is our last day, but that we don't want to die with regrets.
Sass you are far from death, I am fortunate enough to know you as a friend, you are full of life and will get past this 'acknowledgment of mortality' to find your feet and purpose. X
Drake I too undersand why you took your pic down, in my class we all put a photo up of ourselves for one day. I found it hugely liberating, but I didn't really want to continue seeing 'me' every time I wrote a post! ( it got scary!)
Hey SL it's good to see you becoming a regular fixture!
Babs, I too am full of great intentions that don't always follow thought by deed. But the thought was there! I hope you do better than me! Lol
GF, I don't know a woman who doesn't have a little hypochondria when a child gets ill, I think running through worse case scenarios helps us to prepare for anything. It is only a problem if you get stuck in that way of thinking and actually believe that what is a faint possibility is in fact a serious probability. It doesn't sound like you are allowing yourself that. It is also perfectly understandable that you should resent the need to be at work when your child needs you, so stop being so hard on yourself, your feelings and thoughs are only natural. We are allowed to be resentful and out of sorts, it is a human condition not an addictive problem.
Carlos, isn't it wonderful how frequently fate (or HP) puts us right where we need to be. I read a book recently that refreshed my mind to a saying I heard a long time ago 'when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear' all too often we are not ready for the basic teachings of life, not willing to absorb the simple truths. Because life is about simple truths, we complicate it overly, but in essence life is simple. Someone further down the path of knowledge, be it M who reminded you of the words of the phrase you spoke by rote, or whether it is you offering hope to someone at the start of recovery, there is frequently a teacher there, if we are willing to be pupil and learn.
Sass darling, nothing like living in a retirement community for being forced to confront our own mortality! I guess you need to keep in mind that it isn't how much time you have left, but how you chose to fill it.
twice this week I have been shocked into considering my own mortality. At work a patient I have long admired ( and envied) for her beauty, togetherness, style and lovely personality, told me she was starting chemo this week. She says she is lucky and has a good prognosis, but it brought home how we never know what someone we think has it all is going through.
Also my SIL who just over a year ago had to cope with the loss of my BIL, told me she has breast cancer. I will be there for her in any capacity, practical and emotional but it all reminds me, there are no guarantees in life. Stopping drinking isn't enough, we need to get out there and live as if today is our last day, but that we don't want to die with regrets.
Sass you are far from death, I am fortunate enough to know you as a friend, you are full of life and will get past this 'acknowledgment of mortality' to find your feet and purpose. X
Drake I too undersand why you took your pic down, in my class we all put a photo up of ourselves for one day. I found it hugely liberating, but I didn't really want to continue seeing 'me' every time I wrote a post! ( it got scary!)
Hey SL it's good to see you becoming a regular fixture!
Babs, I too am full of great intentions that don't always follow thought by deed. But the thought was there! I hope you do better than me! Lol
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Hey Undies,
Kinda quiet today on here. I just got a message from this friend, and some day soon business partner, that put the scene outside my window into perspective. What perspective exactly, I'm not sure?
She sent me and this other associate of ours a number of pics from St Thomas this morning to be considered for the web site that we are building for our new business venture. Obviously they are all amazing and quite paradise-like. I sent her a msg and asked if she had a smirk on her face as she sent them off along with I think the same pic I'm now using as my Avatar. To which she replied, "You poor thing, that looks horrifying!" I guess, to her at least, her new reality makes that so.
I think it means that I need to dig a little deeper to find joyous, happy and free today. Some days it's not as easy as just walking outside, is it? Nor does it mean that I need to resolve myself to the fact that bad weather needs to affect my potential for enjoyment.
Glee, you did that so masterfully yesterday. Social norms do allow feeling bad about not being with your sick son...or that it's normal to consider worst case scenarios, especially being brought up that way.
I think that allowing poor me into our lives, accepted norms or not, gives our disease strength. Especially when after looking deeper you saw them as they really were...resentments and not acceptable norms at all.
Restarting the clock with acceptance and honesty does allow us to refocus on gratitude, humility and the next right thing. Thank you for that perspective.
Toots, I like your take about the pupil and teacher. My first temporary sponsor in AA would drill that into me in those early days as I was so busy with my ego telling him what's what about recovery. He'd tell me in a kind and not so kind way to try listening as hard as I tried talking...lol. Haha, at the time it kinda pissed me off, but, in time, I learned to become a better pupil. A lot of wisdom to gain in listening...but with me, it also takes repetition.
BF, have you awakened yet. Hope you are feeling rested and ready for a great day!
Sask, I too have suffered from the "look back's"...not as age driven as lost time drinking...now here I am...etc. Honestly, it's NORMAL, but it doesn't need to be dwelled upon, or, better yet, even accepted. Yeah, I said it...don't accept those thoughts (suggestion, now)...lost of great things to do in life for you. Go find some lame wrapper playing cards in that lobby and .............
Babs, great post and don't forget to be nice to yourself on the days when you don't finish everything. That is still tough for me...the alkie in me is always searching for a way to put myself down. I'm happy to report that while it doesn't go away, it does get better with sober time.
SL, SJ, Gilmer, Dee and Drake...etc....What is shaken?
Enjoy, Undies.
Carlos
PS...to conclude me original conundrum...I'm off to snowshoe on this amazing and beautifully snow covered golf course overlooking a picturesque frozen lake
Kinda quiet today on here. I just got a message from this friend, and some day soon business partner, that put the scene outside my window into perspective. What perspective exactly, I'm not sure?
She sent me and this other associate of ours a number of pics from St Thomas this morning to be considered for the web site that we are building for our new business venture. Obviously they are all amazing and quite paradise-like. I sent her a msg and asked if she had a smirk on her face as she sent them off along with I think the same pic I'm now using as my Avatar. To which she replied, "You poor thing, that looks horrifying!" I guess, to her at least, her new reality makes that so.
I think it means that I need to dig a little deeper to find joyous, happy and free today. Some days it's not as easy as just walking outside, is it? Nor does it mean that I need to resolve myself to the fact that bad weather needs to affect my potential for enjoyment.
Glee, you did that so masterfully yesterday. Social norms do allow feeling bad about not being with your sick son...or that it's normal to consider worst case scenarios, especially being brought up that way.
I think that allowing poor me into our lives, accepted norms or not, gives our disease strength. Especially when after looking deeper you saw them as they really were...resentments and not acceptable norms at all.
Restarting the clock with acceptance and honesty does allow us to refocus on gratitude, humility and the next right thing. Thank you for that perspective.
Toots, I like your take about the pupil and teacher. My first temporary sponsor in AA would drill that into me in those early days as I was so busy with my ego telling him what's what about recovery. He'd tell me in a kind and not so kind way to try listening as hard as I tried talking...lol. Haha, at the time it kinda pissed me off, but, in time, I learned to become a better pupil. A lot of wisdom to gain in listening...but with me, it also takes repetition.
BF, have you awakened yet. Hope you are feeling rested and ready for a great day!
Sask, I too have suffered from the "look back's"...not as age driven as lost time drinking...now here I am...etc. Honestly, it's NORMAL, but it doesn't need to be dwelled upon, or, better yet, even accepted. Yeah, I said it...don't accept those thoughts (suggestion, now)...lost of great things to do in life for you. Go find some lame wrapper playing cards in that lobby and ............
.Babs, great post and don't forget to be nice to yourself on the days when you don't finish everything. That is still tough for me...the alkie in me is always searching for a way to put myself down. I'm happy to report that while it doesn't go away, it does get better with sober time.
SL, SJ, Gilmer, Dee and Drake...etc....What is shaken?
Enjoy, Undies.
Carlos
PS...to conclude me original conundrum...I'm off to snowshoe on this amazing and beautifully snow covered golf course overlooking a picturesque frozen lake
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
hi guys---yup---got that bread made and it turned out on top of it all.
I need something to keep me busy ---that way the old AV doesn't come around,
My other half is working so, it's easy for me to think I can drink while he is gone. But again --I just have to remember that last hangover---ugh---
I do have several books to read so, I think that will be my next mission.
Hope everyone is well, and stay strong---
hugs to you
Babs
I need something to keep me busy ---that way the old AV doesn't come around,
My other half is working so, it's easy for me to think I can drink while he is gone. But again --I just have to remember that last hangover---ugh---
I do have several books to read so, I think that will be my next mission.
Hope everyone is well, and stay strong---
hugs to you
Babs
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