Class of July 2013 Part 16
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Class of July 2013 Part 16
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Hiya Bob :-) yeah naps can leave you like that zzzzzz
I hope all you lovely July mates are doing well today xx
I'm really pleased with my cleansing programme , I've lost 3.5 kgs and feeling great , so much energy. I've been cleaning out both the sheds and getting rid of crap i don't need. Why do us humans accumulate so much shite ????
I'm never gonna use it so may as well get the salvos out to help someone in need .
How's your new place going Dee ? Are you happy there m how's life ? Are you feeling well xxx
Much love , the snoozster
xxx
I hope all you lovely July mates are doing well today xx
I'm really pleased with my cleansing programme , I've lost 3.5 kgs and feeling great , so much energy. I've been cleaning out both the sheds and getting rid of crap i don't need. Why do us humans accumulate so much shite ????
I'm never gonna use it so may as well get the salvos out to help someone in need .
How's your new place going Dee ? Are you happy there m how's life ? Are you feeling well xxx
Much love , the snoozster
xxx
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Watching my football game (my team looks horrible btw.) BF sits down next to me. I can smell that he's been drinking. I think he thinks he's managing it. Drinking only on Thursday, Friday and Saturday (he did this last weekend) and going to AA Tuesday evening and Saturday mornings. I think we know where "managing" goes. I do hope that since he's still attending AA that this is just a rough patch. But I'm not doing a good job of convincing myself of this.....
The advice on the FAF board is to not confront, that if someone wants to drink they'll drink. Sigh. It bothers me that he agreed he'd tell me if he drank, instead of waiting for me to ask. It bothers me that he sneaks his drinking in the garage. It feels dishonest. I'd rather him sit down with the vodka bottle and drink right in front of me if he's going to drink.
As they say on the FAF board, more will be revealed....
Very disappointed right now.
NCG
The advice on the FAF board is to not confront, that if someone wants to drink they'll drink. Sigh. It bothers me that he agreed he'd tell me if he drank, instead of waiting for me to ask. It bothers me that he sneaks his drinking in the garage. It feels dishonest. I'd rather him sit down with the vodka bottle and drink right in front of me if he's going to drink.
As they say on the FAF board, more will be revealed....
Very disappointed right now.
NCG
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
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Dee, nice Salvador Dali's painting The Persistence of Memory spoof with cookie monster.
Managing leads to disaster,Stacy. He's headed for another rude awakening.
Snoozums, I know what you mean about hording crap. We cleaned out our basement this week.
Managing leads to disaster,Stacy. He's headed for another rude awakening.
Snoozums, I know what you mean about hording crap. We cleaned out our basement this week.
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Hi NCG,
I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time with your boyfriend. I can see why you would feel disappointed. Is he at least helping you with "stuff" as you recover from your surgery/go through physio? I hope so.
I'm home for the weekend. I've had 18 sessions, and honestly, other than weeping less, don't feel much better. Kind of empty and lost and lonely and can't really imagine things improving without my supportive husband by my side at this stage of my life. I think sobriety has brought it
I will try and remain positive and know that I must be brave and continue to challenge myself, make changes, but boy, it's lonely and tough to do. Not sleeping doesn't help.
I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time with your boyfriend. I can see why you would feel disappointed. Is he at least helping you with "stuff" as you recover from your surgery/go through physio? I hope so.
I'm home for the weekend. I've had 18 sessions, and honestly, other than weeping less, don't feel much better. Kind of empty and lost and lonely and can't really imagine things improving without my supportive husband by my side at this stage of my life. I think sobriety has brought it
I will try and remain positive and know that I must be brave and continue to challenge myself, make changes, but boy, it's lonely and tough to do. Not sleeping doesn't help.
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(((Leshar)))
I know you're depressed and noone can ever take your husbands place but maybe you need to look at getting out of the house again and meeting new people - a little fun couldn't be a bad thing?
D
I know you're depressed and noone can ever take your husbands place but maybe you need to look at getting out of the house again and meeting new people - a little fun couldn't be a bad thing?
D
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
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Hi Leshar -
Thanks. He helps some, if I ask. He says he's not the nurturing type, and I was brought up to rely on myself, so I don't ask for much. He won't do much voluntarily.
I'm sorry you haven't seen any marked improvements after your therapy. I agree with Dee, maybe getting out - like volunteering - would help. Even something really basic, like providing assistance/directions at a local hospital. I know I always appreciate those folks when I'm trying to find my way to the various appointments and departments! I hope things improve.
Yesterday they physical therapist said she is recommending another month of physical therapy. Although I've made great improvement, the strength and flexibility while bending my hand backward is not where they'd like it to be. Gave me different exercises to do at home, one is a lot better at stretching the hand backward. I'll see the doctor on Wednesday, and will know what my return to work status is at that time. I'm hoping that I'll at least be written back part-time, modified duty. I can't imagine being out full time for longer than I already have been! I personally think that they started the PT a little late - five weeks after surgery. I'm talking to other PT patients while I'm there, and they are there two weeks after surgery. But then again, I'm not a doctor, so what do I know.
Bought myself a new iPod today. The screen on the old one I have stopped working months ago, and I've been meaning to get a new one to motivate me to start walking on my own (and have music to listen to.) Now I have to figure out how to get the music from the old iPod to the new one. The "simple" instructions aren't working; on the bright side, figuring it out will keep me busy for a couple of hours ha ha!
Had a minor panic moment today. When I got home, I opened the sliding glass door but didn't notice that the screen door was also open. So the door was wide open for a while. By the time I noticed it one of the cats had got out. My cats are NOT outdoor cats. Thankfully she hadn't gotten very far, and came when I called her and shook the can of treats. But I was in panic mode for the 5 - 10 minutes from when I figured out she'd got out until she came back. Will have to be much more careful in the future; now that she's gotten a taste of being out in the backyard she may try to go back out. My old guy cat had no interest in going outside. Such a good boy!
BF is out buying a corned beef to smoke. He's had a brisket marinating to make pastrami, so he said since he's going to be smoking the pastrami he might as well get a corned beef too. I can't help but think this is an excuse to pick up booze. I found one of his empties in the outside trash can this morning (can was practically empty - it wasn't like I was searching for it!) He's buying small bottles, that's one reason I think that he's trying to manage his drinking. His SIL says that he's done that in the past, bought small bottles to control the volume. What eventually happened was he'd just buy more small bottles, then graduate to bigger bottles.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
NCG
Thanks. He helps some, if I ask. He says he's not the nurturing type, and I was brought up to rely on myself, so I don't ask for much. He won't do much voluntarily.
I'm sorry you haven't seen any marked improvements after your therapy. I agree with Dee, maybe getting out - like volunteering - would help. Even something really basic, like providing assistance/directions at a local hospital. I know I always appreciate those folks when I'm trying to find my way to the various appointments and departments! I hope things improve.
Yesterday they physical therapist said she is recommending another month of physical therapy. Although I've made great improvement, the strength and flexibility while bending my hand backward is not where they'd like it to be. Gave me different exercises to do at home, one is a lot better at stretching the hand backward. I'll see the doctor on Wednesday, and will know what my return to work status is at that time. I'm hoping that I'll at least be written back part-time, modified duty. I can't imagine being out full time for longer than I already have been! I personally think that they started the PT a little late - five weeks after surgery. I'm talking to other PT patients while I'm there, and they are there two weeks after surgery. But then again, I'm not a doctor, so what do I know.
Bought myself a new iPod today. The screen on the old one I have stopped working months ago, and I've been meaning to get a new one to motivate me to start walking on my own (and have music to listen to.) Now I have to figure out how to get the music from the old iPod to the new one. The "simple" instructions aren't working; on the bright side, figuring it out will keep me busy for a couple of hours ha ha!
Had a minor panic moment today. When I got home, I opened the sliding glass door but didn't notice that the screen door was also open. So the door was wide open for a while. By the time I noticed it one of the cats had got out. My cats are NOT outdoor cats. Thankfully she hadn't gotten very far, and came when I called her and shook the can of treats. But I was in panic mode for the 5 - 10 minutes from when I figured out she'd got out until she came back. Will have to be much more careful in the future; now that she's gotten a taste of being out in the backyard she may try to go back out. My old guy cat had no interest in going outside. Such a good boy!
BF is out buying a corned beef to smoke. He's had a brisket marinating to make pastrami, so he said since he's going to be smoking the pastrami he might as well get a corned beef too. I can't help but think this is an excuse to pick up booze. I found one of his empties in the outside trash can this morning (can was practically empty - it wasn't like I was searching for it!) He's buying small bottles, that's one reason I think that he's trying to manage his drinking. His SIL says that he's done that in the past, bought small bottles to control the volume. What eventually happened was he'd just buy more small bottles, then graduate to bigger bottles.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
NCG
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
NCG, I hope he knows there's no compromising with the devil.
I did that small bottle stuff.100 proof vodka pints. By the time I stopped I was counting over 1/2 a dozen by sneak them to the trash day,Sunday.
I hope he stops.
Leshar,
You are always in my prayer.
As are all my friends here.
I have been pretty down this week.My job search has me feeling like hatching from an egg as a dinosaur in a modern world.
I did that small bottle stuff.100 proof vodka pints. By the time I stopped I was counting over 1/2 a dozen by sneak them to the trash day,Sunday.
I hope he stops.
Leshar,
You are always in my prayer.
As are all my friends here.
I have been pretty down this week.My job search has me feeling like hatching from an egg as a dinosaur in a modern world.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
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Hi all. Nothing much to report.
It's Saturday night here grateful that my Saturday nights lost in a haze are gone. Even though I did nothing remarkable today and had the longest afternoon nap ever, when I think about what things were like when drinking, my day feels amazing.
That awful feeling of not being able to stop, or, "tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll stop". Every single day I felt both those things.
(Just watching the episode of Sex in the City where Carrie stays out all night and shows up deathly hungover for a photoshoot, just made me grateful to not have any desire to drink, nor the thought that it's even a mildly attractive idea right now.)
It's Saturday night here grateful that my Saturday nights lost in a haze are gone. Even though I did nothing remarkable today and had the longest afternoon nap ever, when I think about what things were like when drinking, my day feels amazing.
That awful feeling of not being able to stop, or, "tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll stop". Every single day I felt both those things.
(Just watching the episode of Sex in the City where Carrie stays out all night and shows up deathly hungover for a photoshoot, just made me grateful to not have any desire to drink, nor the thought that it's even a mildly attractive idea right now.)
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Thanks Bob. I hope he stops too.
I'm sorry your discouraged in your job search - yes, searching for a job is much different than it used to be! That is both a good thing and a bad thing...it's a good thing because it is actually easier to apply for jobs, submit your resume, etc. via online methods. The bad thing is that it's easier for everyone else too, so recruiters are flooded with resumes to review! I've been in human resources for almost 20 years. I'd be happy to PM you my tips and take on the process.
Hang in there!
NCG
I'm sorry your discouraged in your job search - yes, searching for a job is much different than it used to be! That is both a good thing and a bad thing...it's a good thing because it is actually easier to apply for jobs, submit your resume, etc. via online methods. The bad thing is that it's easier for everyone else too, so recruiters are flooded with resumes to review! I've been in human resources for almost 20 years. I'd be happy to PM you my tips and take on the process.
Hang in there!
NCG
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
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Oh, dear Croissant, of course you should post whenever you have a good day, and I hope that these days outnumber the not so good days! At least on my part, do not be concerned about my sensibilities.
I'm having a not so good day. I went to a diner for lunch, because I just wanted to be around people. I'm so lonely, and tired. I know I have to keep fighting a millimetre at a time, if needs be. I don't know that I have the capacity to engage with others in a meaningful way, at present, so I will not look into volunteering at the moment. I keep sighing and weeping a lot today. I had thoughts of drinking at lunchtime, but I will not.Thought about you guys when I was thinking that over lunch. I've put on a laundry and will try to distract myself for the rest of the day.
Just finished watching an Aussie show, "Secrets and Lies" on Netflix with the, well, I think, gorgeous Martin Henderson. It was a really good show, excellent actors and script, I thought. Cried a lot at the ending, very powerful. The guy who played the cop was brilliant, I thought. Good tv still holds my interest, so that's something, I suppose.
I think I've been chronically lonely, my years with Larry were a welcome respite. I don't know really, how to cope with this.
Rainy, snowy and cold here today. Hope everyone is getting some rest this weekend.
I'm having a not so good day. I went to a diner for lunch, because I just wanted to be around people. I'm so lonely, and tired. I know I have to keep fighting a millimetre at a time, if needs be. I don't know that I have the capacity to engage with others in a meaningful way, at present, so I will not look into volunteering at the moment. I keep sighing and weeping a lot today. I had thoughts of drinking at lunchtime, but I will not.Thought about you guys when I was thinking that over lunch. I've put on a laundry and will try to distract myself for the rest of the day.
Just finished watching an Aussie show, "Secrets and Lies" on Netflix with the, well, I think, gorgeous Martin Henderson. It was a really good show, excellent actors and script, I thought. Cried a lot at the ending, very powerful. The guy who played the cop was brilliant, I thought. Good tv still holds my interest, so that's something, I suppose.
I think I've been chronically lonely, my years with Larry were a welcome respite. I don't know really, how to cope with this.
Rainy, snowy and cold here today. Hope everyone is getting some rest this weekend.
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I liked that show too Leshar.
I understand why you don't want to look into volunteering right now - it just helped me that's all. I used what I had - my sense of duty - to propel me out the door and change things. If I hadn't I still might be stuck in that little bedsit.
I hope tomorrow is better.
D
I understand why you don't want to look into volunteering right now - it just helped me that's all. I used what I had - my sense of duty - to propel me out the door and change things. If I hadn't I still might be stuck in that little bedsit.
I hope tomorrow is better.
D
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I'm glad you at at least getting out, Leshar. Making the effort, even though it seems a lot.
Here's a fun fact about that show, Leshar, it was filmed literally around the corner from my old house back home. Watching the show, made me so homesick...there's a bush reserve close by and possums everywhere at night.
Here's a fun fact about that show, Leshar, it was filmed literally around the corner from my old house back home. Watching the show, made me so homesick...there's a bush reserve close by and possums everywhere at night.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Thanks for telling me this about the show, Croissant, I will watch it again and think of you. I can imagine you feeling homesick whilst watching it. I would love to visit Australia, I always wanted to, but Larry had no interest. If I could but get better and find some hope, then I might just travel there.
I'm very low, heading back to the city this evening for more treatments next week. I wonder why I've become so depressed. I suppose now that I don't have alcohol as my "soother", I must face the fact that perhaps my brain is changing and resetting? I don't know, all I do know is that it feels pretty desperate, mornings are definitely the worst. I do hope that I will improve, I do know that I'm exhausting people, it's lonely, I understand my sister's need to look after herself, but it's terribly sad to me, nonetheless.
Thanks for letting me say how I feel here, I know I keep saying the same thing, but really, I'm not a complainer by nature, but this thing is going on too long, it's demoralizing and scary at times.
Hope all are resting this weekend.
I'm very low, heading back to the city this evening for more treatments next week. I wonder why I've become so depressed. I suppose now that I don't have alcohol as my "soother", I must face the fact that perhaps my brain is changing and resetting? I don't know, all I do know is that it feels pretty desperate, mornings are definitely the worst. I do hope that I will improve, I do know that I'm exhausting people, it's lonely, I understand my sister's need to look after herself, but it's terribly sad to me, nonetheless.
Thanks for letting me say how I feel here, I know I keep saying the same thing, but really, I'm not a complainer by nature, but this thing is going on too long, it's demoralizing and scary at times.
Hope all are resting this weekend.
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Join Date: May 2013
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Originally Posted by Leshar 
Thanks for letting me say how I feel here, I know I keep saying the same thing
Big Hugs,
NCG
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Hi Julyers -
One month sober here! I know I'm so far behind the rest of you, thanks for letting me stay with my original class. It a space where I feel safe, and I never hesitated returning here because you all are wonderful!
NCG
One month sober here! I know I'm so far behind the rest of you, thanks for letting me stay with my original class. It a space where I feel safe, and I never hesitated returning here because you all are wonderful!
NCG
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