Ladybug2

Thanks Croissant! How are you doing?

NorCaliGal

Congratulations on 16 months soberwolf. It's inspiring to hear how you are staying strong through all the tough stuff this month.

NCG

Dee74

congrats again on 16 months SW

yeah Crois - how are you?

D

SnoozyQ

Nooooooooooooooooo , i just lost a loooooooong post ii accidentally clicked undo !!!!!

SnoozyQ

Geeeez !!! Double post now <<<< school for the gifted here this morning!

I should go back to bed !!!

Leshar

I'm home now. 20 tms sessions and my original psych said to stop, it wasn't helping, even though the other psych said to go to 30. I'm lost, about done, cry all the time, want life to be done, but not actively suicidal. Completely anhedonic and can't muster any enthusiasm for anything. I'm very sick. MRI booked. My psych thinks I've possibly got some auto immune brain illness that has blown out my neurotransmitter receptors, may put me on steroids, or ect. Told me to read Brain on Fire, Susan Cahalan, which I'm doing. All this sober work for what? Guess I am defeatist, yes, but I need a break, I see little point in living.

Dee74

I would get a second opinion on all of this Leshar, I really would.

I'm sorry for your suffering.
D

Soberwolf

Thank you everyone for such kind msgs

good luck Leshar im glad you got us to lean on and what D said

again thank you everyone

resolute50

Congrats soberwolf.

Went to a job fair today.
Found out this morning I have a video interview Monday with a company.
Have to download some software to do this.
Gee, this is all new to me.

Dee74

Best wishes Bob

D

resolute50

Thanks Dee,
I'm having a little paranoia about Monday.
I would rather meet face to face with somebody than talk to a computer screen.
This will be a taped interview,not live. And I need to do it in 3 business days.
I got the email Friday. Figured I would practice some answers to common interview questions over the weekend.

Dee74

It would weird me out too...but still, best wishes Bob

D

Croissant

I'm doing ok, thanks for asking, Ladybug and Dee.

All good, just getting wrapped up in real life, but come here daily still and read posts.

It's so nice to feel my new way of relaxing after work is a good long shower and just pampering myself. Even though money is tighter than it was some time ago, I seem to have much more than I had when I was drinking. That includes happiness.

I'm also kind of looking forward a lot more now, and feel like a lot of my drinking grieving has passed. I'm even open a little more to a possible relationship now, and that to me is an awesome thing. It's just nice to have the feelings of liking someone, and feeling a little confidence creep back in that area.

Anyway, life is good. This weekend was a tough personal anniversary, that I could have easily justified a drink, but the AV knows I'm on to that whiny crap.

Leshar

I'm not coping. I'm home and feel chronically empty, thoughts of suicide. I had to bring my bird back to the vets yesterday after picking him up on Friday. I feel so sad, so hopeless. But I'm afraid of death, don't want to be in this awful pain. I can't eat, can't cope. It's awful. I can't get out of bed. I see my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I hope he admits me. I can't go to the hospital in my city, it's awful. I have no one to tell this all to but you guys. Friends don't know what to do with me. My family seem to have cut me out, why?? I'm sorry, I'm ill, I know.

SnoozyQ

Dear Leshar I'm so sorry you are in so much emotional turmoil. :-(

It's best you vent and put it out there . I wish there was more we can do to help you sweetie ? What's happened to your sister? Cant you confide in her?

Why not just go to the ER .they will have to do something with you , surely .

We are ALWAYS here for you to lean on. I wish there was more i could do for you hun xxx

Croissant

Thinking of you Leshar. Hope they admit you as it's what you have wanted for some time.

Bob, good luck with your Skype interview today. Try and relax and just enjoy it....sometimes we think so much about the final outcome, we forget that an interview is actually a chance to see if there's a rapport and the job and company are right for you, too.

NorCaliGal

Hi all -

Leshar, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I hope you find relief soon. Vent here as much as you need to! Hugs!

Good luck with your interview Bob!

I don't think I mentioned, but at my follow up appointment last week the doctor wanted to write me out for another six weeks! I managed to convince him to let me try part time modified duty. So I go back to work Wednesday. I'm a little nervous. Since I didn't anticipate being out for as long as I have, I didn't get to hand off my work smoothly. Although I've been answering co-workers' questions via phone and email, I'm a little worried about what is waiting for me.

Our landlord is having a new roof put on the house. Very noisy here. The roofers need access to an electical outlet requiring the side garage door to be open, so I'm hesitant to leave to escape the noise. I have a mamogram appointment this afternoon - I don't mind them as much as other women I know. It will be nice to get it out of the way before going back to work.

We saw the movie "St. Vincent", with Bill Murray and Melissa Macarthy yesterday. It was very good (a warning, Bill Murray's lead character drinks through most of it. His drinking is not portrayed as a good thing though!)

Hope everyone is having a good, sober day!

NCG

resolute50

Well, I did the interview. It was a taped interview with questions popping up and then answering them in a time limit. Very new to me.
Did the best I could. Keep me in your prayers.

Soberwolf

Hello julyers

will definatly pray resolute

hang in there leshar sorry you feel like this ....what can you do to try and solve this ?

resolute50

Nice song about my home state.
Hope everybody is having a nice night/day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g22LRQ6un-M