FaeryQueen

Ridiculous.

I get hit on more in my workplace than I do in AA.

shyl

I have just seen this thread.I have to say i am not surprised.
Speaking as someone who lives in England,i backed off from AA all together due to being made to feel uncomfortable by men within the rooms and i was not the only one by far.
I did not witness abuse but heard about it time and time again from women who i met in recovery.I witnessed men that were predators again and again and i felt very vunerable as others did and i know of many women that backed off from AA like me.
It is sad especially when i read here about how positive people view AA and i am sure AA can be,if it run in the right way.
I have found sobriety my own way and by the support here online.
Shyl

Grasshopper

lol@Music,
Does your sponsor walk the walk?Or did you just pick anybody?Did you take your time,in picking your sponsor,and does he have the kind of soberiety that you would want for yourself?or have you picked out anyone,whether they are sober or not?
Not looking for the "good" ones if you will,but i do seek out folks who are following recovery program,and doing the do things,to be my sponsor.For myself there are times that im what you ,can,call,the good one,and also have been times that im what you would call the bad one,lol.Progress never perfection,.All kinds of folks are in the rooms,as you say.but im very careful on who i trust,who sponsors me.If recovery rooms called out for only good folks,i would never be there,lol.

Clark

I get hit on more at home alone with the doors locked than I do in AA. Oh, wait, it's not more, it's the same . . . uh . . .I mean . . .

doorknob

I don't think anyone mentioned the military. I seem to remember hearing something about that in the news fairly recently.

jimhere

A few years back, a man showed up at my home group. He had quite a few years of sobriety and talked a good game. Several of the women in our group who were fairly young in sobriety were attracted to this guy and his "spiritual" message. He took advantage of that with at least two women in the group. One of them returned to drinking from, what I believe was a direct result of that. One night a few of the older sobers in the group took the man aside. Basically what they said to him was "we see what you are doing and if you don't knock it off, a few of us might have to "relapse" one night after the meeting." What they meant was that they might take him out back of the church and lay an ass whuppin' on him. I don't advocate violence as a means of solving problems, but the man hasn't been seen in our group since. Although he probably moved on to continue his sick game elsewhere.

fritolay

Sexual abuse is no more a problem in AA than it is anywhere else in society where large numbers of people congregate. It's not an AA problem, it's a people problem, and there's always going to be bad apples in any situation. We already have tough laws on the books dealing with sexual abuse, so when and if it does happen to you, be it AA or in a grocery store or anywhere else, you can report it to the proper authorities for prosecution. There are enough valid arguments one can make against AA without stretching so far as this--it serves no purpose, and it's simply bogus in my opinion.

On a serious note, if you believe you are in danger of being taken advantage of at an AA meeting, then I suggest you go with a sober friend. If you feel you might be ripe to fall for a shennanigan, an alcohol-free friend might see it before you and offer some safety and security. Otherwise, just be smart and don't take people up to your apartment on your very first meeting. Common sense will avoid many of these mishaps.

Beachbabe

Queers? Hun this in 2006. Educated and decent people without prejudice do not refer to homesexuals as 'Queers'. Im not even gay (unless I drink alot hehe) and this really bothered me.

What really bothers me is out of thousands of members... only I call you on it.

Nothing ever changes until something changes so why dont we all begin by referring to people as they are. Not as ignorant people have labeled them. The Q word is no different that the N word and I would bet a dollar to a donut you throw that one around, too. Ignorance can be contagious. Im here to lysol this out.

Then you go further by referring to homosexuals as 'questionable folks'. Turn the mirror around and catch a glimse of your own 'questionable', judgemental self.

Before discussing a particular group, at least refer to them as they are or nothing you say will have any validity. People dont listen to uneducated, intolerate people.

You feel it is too bad AA doesnt screen for 'such people'. If they did hun, I dont think you would make it through the door. So, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.

Music

Another $.02 worth from the political correct peanut gallery. I can tell you have no sense of humor since you didn't detect the "tongue in cheek" rediculousness of my post. Sometimes I use absurdity to illustrate the absurd. And please, before you question someone else's intelligence, learn how to spell "intolerant."

Five

he he he.

In britain we have got 'post PC' humour at the moment - where commedians like Ricky Gervais take the micky out of everyone from Steven Hawkins to people with cerabal pausy.

Beachbabe

I may have mistyped a word and I will certainly work on that.

However, I can only hope you work on your judgemental, back-woods mentality.

Sense of humor? Nothing funny about calling people names. A gay person wouldnt have seen the humor, nor would a black if you would have thrown the N word around.

Nothing funny about your post. Regardless of my sense of humor or lack thereof.

bahookie

actually, I often feel queer.

J
xxx

Music

Oh, say it isn't true.... It's so funny how we can crucify rich people, politicians, big businesses, etc., but let someone say something about the poor and down trodden or a minority and all of a sudden my Constituional "RIGHT" of FREEDOM OF SPEECH is brought into question. If calling a homosexual "queer" is that bad, what's so great about calling a person addicted to alcohol a drunk, lush, bum, wino, or morally depraved? Additionally, if being referred to by the "N" word, or simply using the "N" word is so bad, why is it that a certain ethnic group refers to each other as the "N" word with no problem, while the rest of us get arrested? I guess a person just has to be "special."

But, I get off track here so no more of this kind of talk. See, I censored myself!!! I saved you the trouble Beachbabe.

2stop

LOL.........I have replied to posts 'before' I reread what was written....and realized I had overreacted, etc...............it happens! I don't always get the 'humor' til later...hate that!

Beachbabe

Having the right to refer to a group as you wish is completely different from having the human decency NOT TO.

Here ya go.... intolerant. Typed correctly that time?

Being mature, I will not even start on your spelling, grammar, subject/verb agreement or punctuation. Thats catty and childish. But if you ever want to improve those skills, I will help you.

Music

SORRY I offended your sensitivities. If it makes you feel better to think you're more humanly decent than I am, have at it. This conversation is over.

Beachbabe

Thank you, I hope we all learned something from this.

doorknob

I thought someone might misread that. I did for about a half a second. LOL. Anybody heard the song "Politically Uncorrect", by Gretchen Wilson and Merle Haggard?

DK

doorknob

That's different. Different spelling, different tone, different context.

Peter

Sweetie don't take it personal.

I believe Music's post was intended as a satirical view on the "sexual abuse" issue.