Big Life Changes Support Group
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Jennie, I'm sure today will a little bit better for you and you will feel less stressed at the end of the day. It does sound like the co-worker in the car with you was making things worse for you. I would think that avoiding hitting the mail boxes was a good thing??
I would also be concerned about your grandfather's call. My brother & nephew bullied my elderly father. They ended up getting a joint bank account with my Dad and stealing thousands of dollars from him before he died. I hope that talking with your grandfather will clear up your concerns.
Fantail, I think it's probably good that your ex didn't visit at this point. I do believe the Universe helps us out sometimes.
I would also be concerned about your grandfather's call. My brother & nephew bullied my elderly father. They ended up getting a joint bank account with my Dad and stealing thousands of dollars from him before he died. I hope that talking with your grandfather will clear up your concerns.
Fantail, I think it's probably good that your ex didn't visit at this point. I do believe the Universe helps us out sometimes.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Anna, today was much better! I didn't drive today, but I did go back into the office to practice casing. I chatted with the head clerk for a while after practice, too. We had a great conversation. I feel closer to her now. Then I got in the car and drove the second half of my route. That was the part of the route that most intimidated me. It's more condensed, not so spread out like the first part. As it turned out, I remembered every turn! Every single one. I did pause a few times to think, but I figured it all out. 
I feel much better about things. Maybe tomorrow (solo day) won't be as bad as I think. I guess now that I've had the meltdown, I'm starting to pull all the training and information together finally. I am sure tomorrow will be a challenge at some point, but I think I will get through it ok. I have my phone. There are a few people who can help me over the phone, and even a few who might be able to come bail me out on the route if necessary. I do hope, though, that I will be able to complete the route myself. That would be nice.
I feel much better about things. Maybe tomorrow (solo day) won't be as bad as I think. I guess now that I've had the meltdown, I'm starting to pull all the training and information together finally. I am sure tomorrow will be a challenge at some point, but I think I will get through it ok. I have my phone. There are a few people who can help me over the phone, and even a few who might be able to come bail me out on the route if necessary. I do hope, though, that I will be able to complete the route myself. That would be nice.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I complain often about the problems between my husband and myself, but I want to take a moment to mention how he's holding things together for us while I've been stressed out during this training process. He's done a pretty good job of holding down the fort, I must say. I noticed he's taken care of many chores and he's done so quietly, without being asked. That is a real help to me. He has cleaned up our backyard, gotten rid of some things that were taking up valuable space, completed the doghouse project (with a little help from a friend), watered and fed the animals when I couldn't, watered my ferns, made several meals for us and got take-out, and he's at the store today getting stuff to help organize the garage. Many things have happened here at our house over the past month or so, and he's really accomplished a lot. I am happy and thankful.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
My postmaster asked me via email how I feel about going out on my own tomorrow. She said this in reply: 'That’s great. It will all be ok you can do it I have confidence in your ability to learn it.'
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Jennie, fantastic! You made a great turn-around. And, good for you for getting through yesterday and feeling good about it. I will be thinking of you today. How nice for you to see your husband making an effort in the house to do things to make your life a bit easier.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I made it through today. They said I did good for a first day alone. They helped me near the end by taking some of the mail. Not much, though. I did most of it solo. It is really tough because of the time constraint. I'll get better. I did not give up.
Keyboard is doing weird things. Will type more on iPad. Had hard drive replaced in desktop. Not quite right yet.
Keyboard is doing weird things. Will type more on iPad. Had hard drive replaced in desktop. Not quite right yet.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Yey! (that you made it through, not that you worked an 11-hour day. 
)
Proud of you love. Not surprised though ~ knew you could do it. I can just see you in a few weeks from now; you will probably finish the run faster than anyone else.
(that you made it through, not that you worked an 11-hour day. )Proud of you love. Not surprised though ~ knew you could do it. I can just see you in a few weeks from now; you will probably finish the run faster than anyone else.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
The carrier who helped me today texted me. She wanted me to know I did a good job today, and that it's an indication that at some point I will be able to finish up my route just past noon and get paid for a 8.5 hour day.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
So glad it went well, Jennie! And glad your husband is stepping up as well. Sounds positive all around.
I had an odd couple days. My friend who's very sweet and a bit older (around my mom's age) was asking me about boyfriends and brought up the kid thing. She raised her kids on her own so she's fairly progressive about it... asked if I'd consider doing it solo when I told her I'd never met anyone I'd want to have kids with. She wasn't being aggressive about it but she said that two of her friends didn't have kids and regretted it. Which, I know not to listen to, but that's the backbone of my whole fear over the kids thing (not sure that I want them, but afraid of regretting it if I don't...). So it did get into my head. I'm going to have to get a thicker skin about this stuff living down here I guess. It's come up a few times and i've only been here a month.
But anyway, it then feels EXTRA lucky that the ex didn't come visit right now, because I'm staying at this woman's house until the end of the month. That would've been a very vulnerable place to be in, seeing him while getting advice from someone I respect who's very much in the kids-are-the-priority camp.
Yesterday I went on a massive bike ride with 200 people and feel better today. It's still so new to have the freedom to do whatever I want without the alcohol problem controlling everything. I can't even imagine giving up all that freedom already to having children. I'm loving meeting new people, being in a new city, doing whatever I want whenever I want to with nothing controlling me except me.
I had an odd couple days. My friend who's very sweet and a bit older (around my mom's age) was asking me about boyfriends and brought up the kid thing. She raised her kids on her own so she's fairly progressive about it... asked if I'd consider doing it solo when I told her I'd never met anyone I'd want to have kids with. She wasn't being aggressive about it but she said that two of her friends didn't have kids and regretted it. Which, I know not to listen to, but that's the backbone of my whole fear over the kids thing (not sure that I want them, but afraid of regretting it if I don't...). So it did get into my head. I'm going to have to get a thicker skin about this stuff living down here I guess. It's come up a few times and i've only been here a month.
But anyway, it then feels EXTRA lucky that the ex didn't come visit right now, because I'm staying at this woman's house until the end of the month. That would've been a very vulnerable place to be in, seeing him while getting advice from someone I respect who's very much in the kids-are-the-priority camp.
Yesterday I went on a massive bike ride with 200 people and feel better today. It's still so new to have the freedom to do whatever I want without the alcohol problem controlling everything. I can't even imagine giving up all that freedom already to having children. I'm loving meeting new people, being in a new city, doing whatever I want whenever I want to with nothing controlling me except me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Jennie, I am so glad that you got through the day and did so well. That's terrific. It must have helped your confidence level for doing the job enormously! And, what a bonus to probably be able to finish work early.
Fantail, I think your decision is one that many women struggle with and it's such a huge decision for a woman that I think it would be impossible to be 100% sure you made the right decision no matter which choice you make.
Fantail, I think your decision is one that many women struggle with and it's such a huge decision for a woman that I think it would be impossible to be 100% sure you made the right decision no matter which choice you make.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Fantail,I wrestled with the kids question the past few years myself, so I know what you're probably feeling. I never had a desire for children myself, but I was always kind of open to the idea if my partner wanted them. It turned out that he was like me. It wasn't that big a deal to him. So, for now, we've decided to remain child-free. And I'm happy with it. If I gave birth, I know I'd devote myself to being a good mother, and that would take a lot of time away from my writing. My desire to 'create' something is channeled into the writing. It's fulfilling that desire to 'create' and 'leave something behind.' Plus, I have the beagles. They are enough for me.
The bike ride sounds fun.
The bike ride sounds fun.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
So ... I did even better today! Yay!!!
It was hell-on-earth for much of the day (100F weather), and I felt happy to be alive at the end of it. I am not kidding. This job is so dangerous. Part of the day I have to deliver mail on a highway ... my car sometimes can't clear the right lane when I pull up to the mailboxes (there's just not enough room). It is absolutely terrifying when cars don't get over into the other lane. I wonder each time if they see me and if they're going to hit me from behind.
Near the end of the day I was so hot, miserable, and beyond exhausted ... my chest was tight and I felt like I was close to maybe passing out or something really bad, like a stroke or heart attack. It made me wonder if I might die.
I think it was mostly the constant tension all day racing the clock and the heat.
I was in a sort of bad neighborhood yesterday and I heard this man screaming at someone. Today I heard three gunshots. It was so scary.
Anyway, I arrived back at the post office just before 5 p.m. which was really unbelievable to me. I never expected to be back on time. I made it back before the mail pickup, which is great. That meant I didn't have to race the outgoing mail to the other post office in town. It saved me about 45 minutes overall. The head clerk called me at 5 and told me she was so proud of me.
Yay!!! It was hell-on-earth for much of the day (100F weather), and I felt happy to be alive at the end of it. I am not kidding. This job is so dangerous. Part of the day I have to deliver mail on a highway ... my car sometimes can't clear the right lane when I pull up to the mailboxes (there's just not enough room). It is absolutely terrifying when cars don't get over into the other lane. I wonder each time if they see me and if they're going to hit me from behind.
Near the end of the day I was so hot, miserable, and beyond exhausted ... my chest was tight and I felt like I was close to maybe passing out or something really bad, like a stroke or heart attack. It made me wonder if I might die.
I think it was mostly the constant tension all day racing the clock and the heat. I was in a sort of bad neighborhood yesterday and I heard this man screaming at someone. Today I heard three gunshots. It was so scary.
Anyway, I arrived back at the post office just before 5 p.m. which was really unbelievable to me. I never expected to be back on time. I made it back before the mail pickup, which is great. That meant I didn't have to race the outgoing mail to the other post office in town. It saved me about 45 minutes overall. The head clerk called me at 5 and told me she was so proud of me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
All except for the part where you thought you might die, that is WONDERFUL Jennie.
So glad you are feeling the freedom of this sober life fantail love ~ a bike ride with 200 people sounds magical. ♥
Vcat is very ill. She had a seizure last night; it was pretty terrible. We are going to see Dr Donald tomorrow....but I'm afraid he isn't going to be able to help this time. I hope I'm wrong. And of course I'm praying I'm wrong. I need to keep it together for her. I can do that.
So glad you are feeling the freedom of this sober life fantail love ~ a bike ride with 200 people sounds magical.
♥Vcat is very ill. She had a seizure last night; it was pretty terrible. We are going to see Dr Donald tomorrow....but I'm afraid he isn't going to be able to help this time. I hope I'm wrong. And of course I'm praying I'm wrong. I need to keep it together for her. I can do that.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
