Hey Guys and Gals!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Hey Guys and Gals!
So I've been drinking again since the August long weekend, can I still hang out? My plan is to knock it off after this weekend. Not much more to say except that I fail at Big Plans and I like to drink. Too much.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
no sorry you cant only alcoholics allowed here! oh wait !
Well its good your back I always love you posts. I hope you cut it out sooner then later I know when i think i'll stop on tuesday it could come nad go and maybe another 5 years would go by!
Good to see you back tho. keep posting!
Well its good your back I always love you posts. I hope you cut it out sooner then later I know when i think i'll stop on tuesday it could come nad go and maybe another 5 years would go by!
Good to see you back tho. keep posting!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear that Zenchaser. Everyone is welcome here, you should know that by now. You will of course get suggestions to quit now rather than next week- because quitting in the future rarely happens ( as you also know well, right? )
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I know. Quitting in the past hasn't worked out too well either though ya know?
Mostly I just want to keep myself checked. I know that moderation isn't encouraged on here, for good reason, so I won't talk about that. I don't want to fall into old routines.
Mostly I just want to keep myself checked. I know that moderation isn't encouraged on here, for good reason, so I won't talk about that. I don't want to fall into old routines.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by zenchaser 
I know. Quitting in the past hasn't worked out too well either though ya know?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I don't know! It's just what I've had planned in my mind since I started back up that I would quit again after the labour day weekend. To be honest where I'm going and the people I'm visiting aren't drinkers, I was there last weekend and I only had 2 drinks all weekend.
Right now it's not the quantity I'm drinking but that I know, I know, I know what it does to my mind and spirit. I'm better off without it. I"m a better mother, lover, girlfriend, employee, friend, daughter, sister, woman, when I leave it alone.
I'm better off to have none than one. And once I've given myself permission it's easy to say yes more often than is healthy or"normal".
I'm still not sure if I'm an alcoholic. I've had some minimal withdrawal last fall but I was out of control from being off work and just laying around the house all day...... that's the worst I've ever been. I just think I drink more than I should and that I have a tendency towards hedonism in everything.
My son's friend just got caught stealing his dad's pot and getting high. The days are upon me where my son is going to start his own experimenting. I don't want a life of addiction for him. I didn't even know what kind of advice to give him? Just say no? Are you kidding me? Who has that worked for? He's not there yet but when the time comes I'm more inclined to educate him to know his drugs! Be safe about them. It is the reality of the culture and world we live it. And booze is the most evil of them all because it's everywhere and sold to us and marketed to us. I'm more worried about him giving himself alcohol poisoning than smoking a joint! For real. Again he hasn't tried any of it..... Yet.
Ah well the struggle continues to be the best person I can be. And I'm rambling.
Right now it's not the quantity I'm drinking but that I know, I know, I know what it does to my mind and spirit. I'm better off without it. I"m a better mother, lover, girlfriend, employee, friend, daughter, sister, woman, when I leave it alone.
I'm better off to have none than one. And once I've given myself permission it's easy to say yes more often than is healthy or"normal".
I'm still not sure if I'm an alcoholic. I've had some minimal withdrawal last fall but I was out of control from being off work and just laying around the house all day...... that's the worst I've ever been. I just think I drink more than I should and that I have a tendency towards hedonism in everything.
My son's friend just got caught stealing his dad's pot and getting high. The days are upon me where my son is going to start his own experimenting. I don't want a life of addiction for him. I didn't even know what kind of advice to give him? Just say no? Are you kidding me? Who has that worked for? He's not there yet but when the time comes I'm more inclined to educate him to know his drugs! Be safe about them. It is the reality of the culture and world we live it. And booze is the most evil of them all because it's everywhere and sold to us and marketed to us. I'm more worried about him giving himself alcohol poisoning than smoking a joint! For real. Again he hasn't tried any of it..... Yet.
Ah well the struggle continues to be the best person I can be. And I'm rambling.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I don't think labels are as important as identifying there is a problem and doing something about it?
I'm not trying to pressure you, but I really believe the best advice any parent can give is be a good example.
D
I'm not trying to pressure you, but I really believe the best advice any parent can give is be a good example.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
I did advise my children to say no to drugs and alcohol. I didn't know how to teach them to pick and choose safely. I still don't know how to do that.
It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! If you can enjoy your friends and family without the alcohol you're ready to give up that's even better. I hope you have a good time!
It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! If you can enjoy your friends and family without the alcohol you're ready to give up that's even better. I hope you have a good time!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Well that's a no brainer! Of course. And I set the good example of getting up and going to work at 4am every day and keeping a nice home that I own in downtown Toronto. I quit drugs when my boys were babies and cigarettes too. I'm no degenerate. There's no pot in my house for anyone to steal and the hardest stuff I keep around is beer. But I'm not going to argue that it's best if there is nothing. But I am not going to become betty crocker in the kitchen and join the PTA and start bringing them to church on Sundays. It's not going to happen. This other family whose kids stole his dads dope is well to do.... way better off than I! Sweet 4 bedroom home. My son is in the gifted program and hangs out with rich kids. I'm doing ok but I'm not wealthy.
I grew up very differently, I grew up biker. I won't get into it and I'm no victim but I was the odd one out if I wasn't using. They gave it to me. Not so with my boys. I'm just saying that it's out there and it will find them.
I grew up very differently, I grew up biker. I won't get into it and I'm no victim but I was the odd one out if I wasn't using. They gave it to me. Not so with my boys. I'm just saying that it's out there and it will find them.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by JK130
I did advise my children to say no to drugs and alcohol. I didn't know how to teach them to pick and choose safely. I still don't know how to do that.
It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! If you can enjoy your friends and family without the alcohol you're ready to give up that's even better. I hope you have a good time!
It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! If you can enjoy your friends and family without the alcohol you're ready to give up that's even better. I hope you have a good time!
Me either! But I think it's as important as teaching them safe sex! My thoughts are that they are going to leave the nest and live their lives but if you provide a good base they will come back to you. I've been telling mine that no one ever got addicted if they never tried it and that I don't know anyone who it did anything good for them. That all it will bring you is a bunch of nonsense and grief. To focus on school and dreams and kids who are doing well. And when or if I find out they are indeed doing drugs.... and I'll know. I will educate them on how to be safe about. Hopefully that never happens.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
"I'm still not sure if I'm an alcoholic. "
That is an honest comment zen. I'm not sure if you are alcoholic either. It is for you to determine.
If, when you really want to, you are unable to stop entirely, or if you have little control over the amount you take once you start drinking. you are probably alcoholic. Control and choice.
Some problem drinkers, probably most, can stop or moderate. Some, like me, can't, but continue to fool ouselves that we could moderate if we really wanted to. There always comes a point where the truth is revealed.
I hope you find a solution that works before too much harm is done.
That is an honest comment zen. I'm not sure if you are alcoholic either. It is for you to determine.
If, when you really want to, you are unable to stop entirely, or if you have little control over the amount you take once you start drinking. you are probably alcoholic. Control and choice.
Some problem drinkers, probably most, can stop or moderate. Some, like me, can't, but continue to fool ouselves that we could moderate if we really wanted to. There always comes a point where the truth is revealed.
I hope you find a solution that works before too much harm is done.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Gottalife
"I'm still not sure if I'm an alcoholic. "
That is an honest comment zen. I'm not sure if you are alcoholic either. It is for you to determine.
If, when you really want to, you are unable to stop entirely, or if you have little control over the amount you take once you start drinking. you are probably alcoholic. Control and choice.
Some problem drinkers, probably most, can stop or moderate. Some, like me, can't, but continue to fool ouselves that we could moderate if we really wanted to. There always comes a point where the truth is revealed.
I hope you find a solution that works before too much harm is done.
That is an honest comment zen. I'm not sure if you are alcoholic either. It is for you to determine.
If, when you really want to, you are unable to stop entirely, or if you have little control over the amount you take once you start drinking. you are probably alcoholic. Control and choice.
Some problem drinkers, probably most, can stop or moderate. Some, like me, can't, but continue to fool ouselves that we could moderate if we really wanted to. There always comes a point where the truth is revealed.
I hope you find a solution that works before too much harm is done.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
erm...I wasn't criticising your parenting skills, or your lifestyle now or in the past Zen.
My point was you'd be better off quit, and that would be a great example for your kids.
I'm not sure anyone of us could argue with that?
D
My point was you'd be better off quit, and that would be a great example for your kids.
I'm not sure anyone of us could argue with that?
D
Originally Posted by zenchaser
Well that's a no brainer! Of course. And I set the good example of getting up and going to work at 4am every day and keeping a nice home that I own in downtown Toronto. I quit drugs when my boys were babies and cigarettes too. I'm no degenerate. There's no pot in my house for anyone to steal and the hardest stuff I keep around is beer. But I'm not going to argue that it's best if there is nothing. But I am not going to become betty crocker in the kitchen and join the PTA and start bringing them to church on Sundays. It's not going to happen. This other family whose kids stole his dads dope is well to do.... way better off than I! Sweet 4 bedroom home. My son is in the gifted program and hangs out with rich kids. I'm doing ok but I'm not wealthy.
I grew up very differently, I grew up biker. I won't get into it and I'm no victim but I was the odd one out if I wasn't using. They gave it to me. Not so with my boys. I'm just saying that it's out there and it will find them.
I grew up very differently, I grew up biker. I won't get into it and I'm no victim but I was the odd one out if I wasn't using. They gave it to me. Not so with my boys. I'm just saying that it's out there and it will find them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Dee no doubt about that. It's a huge reason why I keep coming back on here... for them, and me. We're on the same page. I just wanted to put it out there that I am a lot of other things than a woman who likes to drink too much sometimes. Being a bit defensive I guess. Who likes admitting that they can't control their drinking? Especially a mother?
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