I don't know! It's just what I've had planned in my mind since I started back up that I would quit again after the labour day weekend. To be honest where I'm going and the people I'm visiting aren't drinkers, I was there last weekend and I only had 2 drinks all weekend.
Right now it's not the quantity I'm drinking but that I know, I know, I know what it does to my mind and spirit. I'm better off without it. I"m a better mother, lover, girlfriend, employee, friend, daughter, sister, woman, when I leave it alone.
I'm better off to have none than one. And once I've given myself permission it's easy to say yes more often than is healthy or"normal".
I'm still not sure if I'm an alcoholic. I've had some minimal withdrawal last fall but I was out of control from being off work and just laying around the house all day...... that's the worst I've ever been. I just think I drink more than I should and that I have a tendency towards hedonism in everything.
My son's friend just got caught stealing his dad's pot and getting high. The days are upon me where my son is going to start his own experimenting. I don't want a life of addiction for him. I didn't even know what kind of advice to give him? Just say no? Are you kidding me? Who has that worked for? He's not there yet but when the time comes I'm more inclined to educate him to know his drugs! Be safe about them. It is the reality of the culture and world we live it. And booze is the most evil of them all because it's everywhere and sold to us and marketed to us. I'm more worried about him giving himself alcohol poisoning than smoking a joint! For real. Again he hasn't tried any of it..... Yet.
Ah well the struggle continues to be the best person I can be. And I'm rambling.