Back in the rut
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by matt4x4 
Yup you chose to drink, no one put a gun to your mouth and said drink or use. What do you think the problem is? Family, Police, Authority Figures, Things just aint going your way, you can continue to blame everyone else, but yourself. There is freedom from alcohol, how bad do you want it?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 120
Moderation never worked for me either. Glad to hear you've decided to quit.
Curious why you aren't a fan of meetings, be they AA, SMART, AVRT or whatever. I've found them extremely helpful in keeping me focussed on sobriety. There are certainly some crap meetings around, but there are helpful ones to be found as well - you just have to "shop around" a bit.
Not saying it's the only way to get help, but they're free and I like the ones I've found after a bit of searching.
Best of luck to you - I hope you find sobriety regardless of how you approach it.
Curious why you aren't a fan of meetings, be they AA, SMART, AVRT or whatever. I've found them extremely helpful in keeping me focussed on sobriety. There are certainly some crap meetings around, but there are helpful ones to be found as well - you just have to "shop around" a bit.
Not saying it's the only way to get help, but they're free and I like the ones I've found after a bit of searching.
Best of luck to you - I hope you find sobriety regardless of how you approach it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by newwestdork
Moderation never worked for me either. Glad to hear you've decided to quit.
Curious why you aren't a fan of meetings, be they AA, SMART, AVRT or whatever. I've found them extremely helpful in keeping me focussed on sobriety. There are certainly some crap meetings around, but there are helpful ones to be found as well - you just have to "shop around" a bit.
Not saying it's the only way to get help, but they're free and I like the ones I've found after a bit of searching.
Best of luck to you - I hope you find sobriety regardless of how you approach it.
Curious why you aren't a fan of meetings, be they AA, SMART, AVRT or whatever. I've found them extremely helpful in keeping me focussed on sobriety. There are certainly some crap meetings around, but there are helpful ones to be found as well - you just have to "shop around" a bit.
Not saying it's the only way to get help, but they're free and I like the ones I've found after a bit of searching.
Best of luck to you - I hope you find sobriety regardless of how you approach it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Going to use this thread as a check in if that's ok. Got sore throat and slight cold, always the case after a drink for me. Immune system shot. Mentally feeling better, still paranoid and depressed but I'm getting there. Hope you're all well.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Managed the gym today, felt good, rivals the buzz I get from booze, throwing a few weights around.
Mentally better, decent sleep last night for the first time in a few days. That helps alot, just looking forward to a quiet weekend of reflection and sleep.
Thanks
Mentally better, decent sleep last night for the first time in a few days. That helps alot, just looking forward to a quiet weekend of reflection and sleep.
Thanks
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hey Bluebird
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members who nonethesless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members who nonethesless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hey Bluebird
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members - athletes even - who nonetheless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know - but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members - athletes even - who nonetheless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know - but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hey Bluebird
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members - athletes even - who nonetheless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know - but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
I was going to congratulate you on deciding to do the steps but I see you've backed away from that now?
so how exactly is this attempt going to differ from the rest?
Exercise is great but I can name you a dozen highly fit SR members - athletes even - who nonetheless are alcoholics.
It's unpalatable I know - but what you need is change.
You can't continue to be the old Bluebird because the old Bliuebirds life is all about the booze.
D
I plan on making changes :-)
Thanks for the post as usual :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
Hey there Bluebird1927,
I hope you're doing well today. I'm pretty new to this but I hope you don't mind me chiming in. I haven't had a drink for over a month and I'm feeling, all up, surprisingly good. The first couple of weeks were pretty hard- the first couple of days were worse. But things sort of shifted after a couple of weeks and I could start to focus on the pluses rather than the losses. I'm not sure if that's just a time thing or what, but there's got to be a point when not drinking is clearly (to you) better than drinking. You just have to get there.
For me, it's ultimately about priorities. I know (or think I know :=]) that when I drink any amount of alcohol then suddenly alcohol becomes THE priority in my life. It overshadows everything with little or no effort. I'm not prepared to live a life that skewed. The only way I can make my friends, my family, my beliefs, pretty much anything a priority is to not drink at all.
I've tried really hard to practice mindfulness too. I find it really easy to miss life completely- now I take a moment every now and then just to focus on the here and now and acknowledge what I'm doing. That can be a real up if it's something positive. It's pretty easy to miss some of the little good stuff.
Take care.
I hope you're doing well today. I'm pretty new to this but I hope you don't mind me chiming in. I haven't had a drink for over a month and I'm feeling, all up, surprisingly good. The first couple of weeks were pretty hard- the first couple of days were worse. But things sort of shifted after a couple of weeks and I could start to focus on the pluses rather than the losses. I'm not sure if that's just a time thing or what, but there's got to be a point when not drinking is clearly (to you) better than drinking. You just have to get there.
For me, it's ultimately about priorities. I know (or think I know :=]) that when I drink any amount of alcohol then suddenly alcohol becomes THE priority in my life. It overshadows everything with little or no effort. I'm not prepared to live a life that skewed. The only way I can make my friends, my family, my beliefs, pretty much anything a priority is to not drink at all.
I've tried really hard to practice mindfulness too. I find it really easy to miss life completely- now I take a moment every now and then just to focus on the here and now and acknowledge what I'm doing. That can be a real up if it's something positive. It's pretty easy to miss some of the little good stuff.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Bluebird,
I was confused by Dee's post, and checked out your first thread. In March 2012 you posted:
I don't bring that up as a critique, but what is different now? I can't tell you how many times I said I would change my drinking by "trying harder", but for sure I was swearing off alcohol when I was too young to have a drivers license (16). I finally ran out of grand plans when I was 43. At that point I realized that I couldn't live without alcohol, and I could not longer deny that it was clearly killing me... mind, body & soul. I may have made those two observations previously, but never simultaneously.
More of the same didn't do it for me. I checked myself into rehab, and after six weeks returned home feeling strong. It took about 12 hours to realize that other than being segregated from alcohol and learning a whole lot about addiction for six weeks, I had not changed much... I was still trying to do it solo.
There are many ways to get sober, but I believe there is a common thread. Once someone has gone past a certain point in their drinking, it becomes almost impossible to quit on their own: we need other sober people to support us, and to know who we are and be there when we are struggling. SR is a fantastic resource - but at the end of the day is just an internet forum, and it alone wouldn't be enough keep me sober.
Please take a look at what you are doing now to stay sober, and whether it is materially different than what you used in previous attempts. If a ladder you used two years ago wasn't tall enough to clear an obstacle then, it most definitely remains so now. Previous attempts at sobriety that didn't turn out as planned are not evidence of failure - just that the solution was insufficient. The problem with alcoholism is that it is progressive, so you'll need a bigger solution now than was needed then.
The good news is this: there is nothing particularly unique or vexing about your addiction. Others have learned how to not drink and live productive and fulfilling lives without alcohol. For this alcoholic, what it took was the desperation to reach out for help - face to face on a daily basis.
Keep at it, Blue. If I could do this, you can too.
I was confused by Dee's post, and checked out your first thread. In March 2012 you posted:
Back to work tomorrow. Going to hit the gym hard. Better buzz than booze can ever give me.
I don't bring that up as a critique, but what is different now? I can't tell you how many times I said I would change my drinking by "trying harder", but for sure I was swearing off alcohol when I was too young to have a drivers license (16). I finally ran out of grand plans when I was 43. At that point I realized that I couldn't live without alcohol, and I could not longer deny that it was clearly killing me... mind, body & soul. I may have made those two observations previously, but never simultaneously.
More of the same didn't do it for me. I checked myself into rehab, and after six weeks returned home feeling strong. It took about 12 hours to realize that other than being segregated from alcohol and learning a whole lot about addiction for six weeks, I had not changed much... I was still trying to do it solo.
There are many ways to get sober, but I believe there is a common thread. Once someone has gone past a certain point in their drinking, it becomes almost impossible to quit on their own: we need other sober people to support us, and to know who we are and be there when we are struggling. SR is a fantastic resource - but at the end of the day is just an internet forum, and it alone wouldn't be enough keep me sober.
Please take a look at what you are doing now to stay sober, and whether it is materially different than what you used in previous attempts. If a ladder you used two years ago wasn't tall enough to clear an obstacle then, it most definitely remains so now. Previous attempts at sobriety that didn't turn out as planned are not evidence of failure - just that the solution was insufficient. The problem with alcoholism is that it is progressive, so you'll need a bigger solution now than was needed then.
The good news is this: there is nothing particularly unique or vexing about your addiction. Others have learned how to not drink and live productive and fulfilling lives without alcohol. For this alcoholic, what it took was the desperation to reach out for help - face to face on a daily basis.
Keep at it, Blue. If I could do this, you can too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Bluebird - I think the idea of the steps is to do them with someone else who's done them themselves so you won't be confused - otherwise I'm not sure I see the point?
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by andyroo72
Hey there Bluebird1927,
I hope you're doing well today. I'm pretty new to this but I hope you don't mind me chiming in. I haven't had a drink for over a month and I'm feeling, all up, surprisingly good. The first couple of weeks were pretty hard- the first couple of days were worse. But things sort of shifted after a couple of weeks and I could start to focus on the pluses rather than the losses. I'm not sure if that's just a time thing or what, but there's got to be a point when not drinking is clearly (to you) better than drinking. You just have to get there.
For me, it's ultimately about priorities. I know (or think I know :=]) that when I drink any amount of alcohol then suddenly alcohol becomes THE priority in my life. It overshadows everything with little or no effort. I'm not prepared to live a life that skewed. The only way I can make my friends, my family, my beliefs, pretty much anything a priority is to not drink at all.
I've tried really hard to practice mindfulness too. I find it really easy to miss life completely- now I take a moment every now and then just to focus on the here and now and acknowledge what I'm doing. That can be a real up if it's something positive. It's pretty easy to miss some of the little good stuff.
Take care.
I hope you're doing well today. I'm pretty new to this but I hope you don't mind me chiming in. I haven't had a drink for over a month and I'm feeling, all up, surprisingly good. The first couple of weeks were pretty hard- the first couple of days were worse. But things sort of shifted after a couple of weeks and I could start to focus on the pluses rather than the losses. I'm not sure if that's just a time thing or what, but there's got to be a point when not drinking is clearly (to you) better than drinking. You just have to get there.
For me, it's ultimately about priorities. I know (or think I know :=]) that when I drink any amount of alcohol then suddenly alcohol becomes THE priority in my life. It overshadows everything with little or no effort. I'm not prepared to live a life that skewed. The only way I can make my friends, my family, my beliefs, pretty much anything a priority is to not drink at all.
I've tried really hard to practice mindfulness too. I find it really easy to miss life completely- now I take a moment every now and then just to focus on the here and now and acknowledge what I'm doing. That can be a real up if it's something positive. It's pretty easy to miss some of the little good stuff.
Take care.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle
Bluebird,
I was confused by Dee's post, and checked out your first thread. In March 2012 you posted:
Back to work tomorrow. Going to hit the gym hard. Better buzz than booze can ever give me.
I don't bring that up as a critique, but what is different now? I can't tell you how many times I said I would change my drinking by "trying harder", but for sure I was swearing off alcohol when I was too young to have a drivers license (16). I finally ran out of grand plans when I was 43. At that point I realized that I couldn't live without alcohol, and I could not longer deny that it was clearly killing me... mind, body & soul. I may have made those two observations previously, but never simultaneously.
More of the same didn't do it for me. I checked myself into rehab, and after six weeks returned home feeling strong. It took about 12 hours to realize that other than being segregated from alcohol and learning a whole lot about addiction for six weeks, I had not changed much... I was still trying to do it solo.
There are many ways to get sober, but I believe there is a common thread. Once someone has gone past a certain point in their drinking, it becomes almost impossible to quit on their own: we need other sober people to support us, and to know who we are and be there when we are struggling. SR is a fantastic resource - but at the end of the day is just an internet forum, and it alone wouldn't be enough keep me sober.
Please take a look at what you are doing now to stay sober, and whether it is materially different than what you used in previous attempts. If a ladder you used two years ago wasn't tall enough to clear an obstacle then, it most definitely remains so now. Previous attempts at sobriety that didn't turn out as planned are not evidence of failure - just that the solution was insufficient. The problem with alcoholism is that it is progressive, so you'll need a bigger solution now than was needed then.
The good news is this: there is nothing particularly unique or vexing about your addiction. Others have learned how to not drink and live productive and fulfilling lives without alcohol. For this alcoholic, what it took was the desperation to reach out for help - face to face on a daily basis.
Keep at it, Blue. If I could do this, you can too.
I was confused by Dee's post, and checked out your first thread. In March 2012 you posted:
Back to work tomorrow. Going to hit the gym hard. Better buzz than booze can ever give me.
I don't bring that up as a critique, but what is different now? I can't tell you how many times I said I would change my drinking by "trying harder", but for sure I was swearing off alcohol when I was too young to have a drivers license (16). I finally ran out of grand plans when I was 43. At that point I realized that I couldn't live without alcohol, and I could not longer deny that it was clearly killing me... mind, body & soul. I may have made those two observations previously, but never simultaneously.
More of the same didn't do it for me. I checked myself into rehab, and after six weeks returned home feeling strong. It took about 12 hours to realize that other than being segregated from alcohol and learning a whole lot about addiction for six weeks, I had not changed much... I was still trying to do it solo.
There are many ways to get sober, but I believe there is a common thread. Once someone has gone past a certain point in their drinking, it becomes almost impossible to quit on their own: we need other sober people to support us, and to know who we are and be there when we are struggling. SR is a fantastic resource - but at the end of the day is just an internet forum, and it alone wouldn't be enough keep me sober.
Please take a look at what you are doing now to stay sober, and whether it is materially different than what you used in previous attempts. If a ladder you used two years ago wasn't tall enough to clear an obstacle then, it most definitely remains so now. Previous attempts at sobriety that didn't turn out as planned are not evidence of failure - just that the solution was insufficient. The problem with alcoholism is that it is progressive, so you'll need a bigger solution now than was needed then.
The good news is this: there is nothing particularly unique or vexing about your addiction. Others have learned how to not drink and live productive and fulfilling lives without alcohol. For this alcoholic, what it took was the desperation to reach out for help - face to face on a daily basis.
Keep at it, Blue. If I could do this, you can too.
I'm going back to church this time, something I had growing up and rebelled against massively. It will be a massive help I think.
I know something has to be different this time otherwise I'll be back here again in a month or worse than that I won't come back.
Thanks everyone and your experience and advice is very much appreciated
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
I'm wishing you success BB--I'm not a people-person either and I found
I had to organize and schedule and build new activities into my life to replace the drinking time.
Sometimes it was a lot of work, but helped a great deal.
A short round of intensive cognitive therapy and journaling was also extremely helpful
in getting to the underlying issues which led to the alcoholism in the first place.
When sobriety became my priority no matter what, and I changed my life completely to support it,
I found I made forward progress so much easier than in any previous attempts.
I decided no matter what, no alcohol. Surprisingly, with the extra support, it worked flawlessly. It still is.
My only issue in nearly three years was last summer when my little AV voice said "that was so easy I bet you can handle moderation now".
If you hear that voice, escort it off the premises. It led to a three month relapse for me.
However, once I put my steps and planning back into place, I've been dry ever since and happier than I have ever been in my life.
I still have issues, I won't kid you, but issues without alcoholism and being drunk are far more manageable than issues with the alcohol compounding them.
Best to you and keep posting
I had to organize and schedule and build new activities into my life to replace the drinking time.
Sometimes it was a lot of work, but helped a great deal.
A short round of intensive cognitive therapy and journaling was also extremely helpful
in getting to the underlying issues which led to the alcoholism in the first place.
When sobriety became my priority no matter what, and I changed my life completely to support it,
I found I made forward progress so much easier than in any previous attempts.
I decided no matter what, no alcohol. Surprisingly, with the extra support, it worked flawlessly. It still is.
My only issue in nearly three years was last summer when my little AV voice said "that was so easy I bet you can handle moderation now".
If you hear that voice, escort it off the premises. It led to a three month relapse for me.
However, once I put my steps and planning back into place, I've been dry ever since and happier than I have ever been in my life.
I still have issues, I won't kid you, but issues without alcoholism and being drunk are far more manageable than issues with the alcohol compounding them.
Best to you and keep posting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
I'm wishing you success BB--I'm not a people-person either and I found
I had to organize and schedule and build new activities into my life to replace the drinking time.
Sometimes it was a lot of work, but helped a great deal.
A short round of intensive cognitive therapy and journaling was also extremely helpful
in getting to the underlying issues which led to the alcoholism in the first place.
When sobriety became my priority no matter what, and I changed my life completely to support it,
I found I made forward progress so much easier than in any previous attempts.
I decided no matter what, no alcohol. Surprisingly, with the extra support, it worked flawlessly. It still is.
My only issue in nearly three years was last summer when my little AV voice said "that was so easy I bet you can handle moderation now".
If you hear that voice, escort it off the premises. It led to a three month relapse for me.
However, once I put my steps and planning back into place, I've been dry ever since and happier than I have ever been in my life.
I still have issues, I won't kid you, but issues without alcoholism and being drunk are far more manageable than issues with the alcohol compounding them.
Best to you and keep posting
I had to organize and schedule and build new activities into my life to replace the drinking time.
Sometimes it was a lot of work, but helped a great deal.
A short round of intensive cognitive therapy and journaling was also extremely helpful
in getting to the underlying issues which led to the alcoholism in the first place.
When sobriety became my priority no matter what, and I changed my life completely to support it,
I found I made forward progress so much easier than in any previous attempts.
I decided no matter what, no alcohol. Surprisingly, with the extra support, it worked flawlessly. It still is.
My only issue in nearly three years was last summer when my little AV voice said "that was so easy I bet you can handle moderation now".
If you hear that voice, escort it off the premises. It led to a three month relapse for me.
However, once I put my steps and planning back into place, I've been dry ever since and happier than I have ever been in my life.
I still have issues, I won't kid you, but issues without alcoholism and being drunk are far more manageable than issues with the alcohol compounding them.
Best to you and keep posting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 473
Well this Sunday is a damn sight more relaxed than last Sunday. Last Sunday was hell, a sweaty, withdrawal ridden hell. Woke up refreshed this morning after a lovely sober sleep.
Not even been tempted to have a drink so far, not put myself in situations to do so I suppose. Gym done so going to relax on the sofa this afternoon.
Hope you're all having a good weekend.
Not even been tempted to have a drink so far, not put myself in situations to do so I suppose. Gym done so going to relax on the sofa this afternoon.
Hope you're all having a good weekend.
Happy, joyous, and free
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 113
Congratulations on one week, Bluebird!
And it's awesome that you're going to church! It does help, at least in my experience. For me, I wasn't able to maintain emotional sobriety on church alone. I had to have AA.
It's ok not to be a people person in AA, by the way. We have a wonderful tradition of take what you want and leave the rest behind. I've sponsored introverts and they do just fine. Their program looks a little different than some others', but that's ok.
Blessings! Enjoy your relaxed Sunday!
And it's awesome that you're going to church! It does help, at least in my experience. For me, I wasn't able to maintain emotional sobriety on church alone. I had to have AA.
It's ok not to be a people person in AA, by the way. We have a wonderful tradition of take what you want and leave the rest behind. I've sponsored introverts and they do just fine. Their program looks a little different than some others', but that's ok.
Blessings! Enjoy your relaxed Sunday!
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