Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Alcoholism Information > Alcoholism-12 Step Support
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [5]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^
OR
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.



Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-14-2012, 06:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
bbthumper's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,184
Something bothering me. What to do?

Have my book study with my sponsor tonight so I plan on getting his take on this as well, but I respect y'alls' input so I figured I'd throw this out there.

Been talking to a newcomer at a particular meeting over the past few weeks. He seems to be doing great. Has his Big Book with him wherever he goes, doesnt speak outside of his own experience, sticks around after meetings, making friends etc. He got himself a sponsor a couple weeks ago. Good stuff.

I was talking to him last night and asked how things were going with his sponsor. His response "well he kinda made himself my sponsor. Its going alright. I do A LOT of listening." I asked where they were with step work and he said that they haven't even begun to talk about the steps. He seemed upset and talked about how willing and ready he was to do the work. My suggestion to him was to ask his sponsor when they were going to get busy with the step work. He didnt seem very confident in doing this. Not sure if he will or not. I told him to please call me if he wasnt getting anywhere and wanted to get into the work.

I know his sponsor. Nice guy. Sober a while, but Ive never heard him talk about step work in any of his comments. He talks about heroin addiction more often than alcoholism in the meetings where they allow it. Now, I am not fit to be a judge, although my ego tells me otherwise sometimes, but this is bugging the heck out of me. This new guy is wanting to do the work and getting nowhere.

So my question is am I out of line if I approach his sponsor and let him know that we talked, that he wants to work the steps, and ask "what are you waiting for?" I dont feel right taking the sidelines and waiting to see what happens.
__________________
~BBThumper

~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition


A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
bbthumper is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to bbthumper For This Useful Post:
heath480 (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012), KnowHope (11-14-2012), paul99 (11-14-2012), RobbyRobot (11-14-2012), Sapling (11-14-2012), Taking5 (11-14-2012), yeahgr8 (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 07:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Mark75's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,954
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
I told him to please call me if he wasnt getting anywhere and wanted to get into the work.
Perfect, IMO.... Anything more might be construed as promotion.
Mark75 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mark75 For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), Boleo (11-14-2012), Hollyanne (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012), Lily (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 07:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Hollyanne's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,570
If you can take him on (new guy), do that.
I wouldn't talk to the other guy about it directly.
Good luck.
Hollyanne is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hollyanne For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,221
I see no problem talking with him. He may not know what he should do. You talking to him might point him in the right direction but don't be his caretaker. Make suggestions and then back out of it and let him do the work. You suggested to him to talk to his sponsor about the step work. Let it go at that. The heroin subject, I think will take care of itself. Identifying with one another is what works. Either he'll identify or he won't.
__________________
Music is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Music For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
omegasupreme's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Posts: 778
I used to report a lot of accurate information like that to my sponsor, as did my sponsees to me. Tradition breakers, slow step workers, people talking about choosing that must not be real alkies, you name it we reported you! That doesn't make one very popular or effective in AA I have found. The first one, popularity, doesn't matter anyway, the second however, effectiveness, does.

The bottom line: be the best example of AA I can be, I had to stop playing God, with EVERYTHING, including AA. Keep sharing your experience, the truth is inexorable. If the guy continues to not take the steps and he gets in enough pain chances are he's probably headed your direction. I used to start those conversations with other's sponsors. I had the best of intentions too. I can't think of one time it didn't go sour. I know a sponsee of mine was even threatened physically after one.

Keep shining in those meetings. Attraction rather than promotion.
__________________
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”-Anthony de Mello
omegasupreme is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to omegasupreme For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), Lenina (11-14-2012), TheJungianThing (11-17-2012), Tommyh (11-15-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
Powerless over Alcohol
 
IndaMiricale's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
IMO

I agree with both mark and anne , just ask him if he would rather work with you. And leave the other guy out of it. Let that newcomer choose.

Take it easy , bb and catch you at a meeting soon.
__________________
"The only real thing in life are dreams, which nature cant touch with decay." Bob Dylan

"Each day,somewhere in the world ,recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic , sharing experience,strength and hope."
IndaMiricale is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to IndaMiricale For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
TSDD's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Posts: 366
They're both sober and going to meetings, what's the problem?

It has been said that men often mistake the limits of their field of vision for the limits of possibility. This is ever so clear in AA where 90% of the folks you meet seem to firmly believe that they have the monopoly on staying sober and having a good life and nobody could possibly have the same results without doing precisely whatever it is they're doing. This is simple, juvinile, egocentric, and possibly narcicistic. to the extreme.

How about try some attraction rather than promotion. If your step meeting is in the meeting schedule and what you are doing seems appealing he will probably investigate it with or without his sponsor.

How about instead of condescending rubbish like "when are you going to get into the work" or "how quick do you want to feel better?", you treat AA like a fellowship (a gathering of equals) and say things like "you're doing great!", "aren't you glad you didn't wake up hung over today?", or "hey, we're going out for coffee after the meeting and would love to have you come along". (Not implying you're doing one and not the other, just throwing out the kind of ego feeding that helps nobody vs. encouragement, attraction, and inclusion).
TSDD is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TSDD For This Useful Post:
ananda (11-17-2012), bbthumper (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
bbthumper's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,184
Quote:
Originally Posted by TSDD View Post
They're both sober and going to meetings, what's the problem?

It has been said that men often mistake the limits of their field of vision for the limits of possibility. This is ever so clear in AA where 90% of the folks you meet seem to firmly believe that they have the monopoly on staying sober and having a good life and nobody could possibly have the same results without doing precisely whatever it is they're doing. This is simple, juvinile, egocentric, and possibly narcicistic. to the extreme.

How about try some attraction rather than promotion. If your step meeting is in the meeting schedule and what you are doing seems appealing he will probably investigate it with or without his sponsor.

How about instead of condescending rubbish like "when are you going to get into the work" or "how quick do you want to feel better?", you treat AA like a fellowship (a gathering of equals) and say things like "you're doing great!", "aren't you glad you didn't wake up hung over today?", or "hey, we're going out for coffee after the meeting and would love to have you come along". (Not implying you're doing one and not the other, just throwing out the kind of ego feeding that helps nobody vs. encouragement, attraction, and inclusion).
What bothers me is the fact that this guy wants to work the steps and his sponsor isnt getting there. He has read the book. Identifies with our COMMON problem and is interested in our COMMON solution. I am one of many who knows and can take another person to that solution. It is a matter of responsibility. AA is a program of recovery, the end result of which is a spiritual awakening. We are given the power to help people. I see nothing condescending about suggesting that this guy seeks help elsewhere. Im not going to stand by and watch untreated alcoholism take its course while saying things like "you're doing great" when this guy wants the solution that recovered members of AA carry.
__________________
~BBThumper

~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition


A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
bbthumper is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bbthumper For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012), RobbyRobot (11-14-2012), Sapling (11-14-2012), Taking5 (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,221
Hey thumper, if it bothers you that much, you talk to this guys sponsor instead of going behind his back. Sometimes I can come across like I'm doing what is best but who am I to interfere in someon else's program? Who am I to be the judge of who's working a good honest program and who isn't? If you want to teach this guy something, teach him how to grow a pair and talk to is sponsor himself, by staying out of it and minding your own business. Nobody that I know of has ever been elected to the position of sobriety watch. I have enough trouble keeping myself in line. Until/unless you become this guys sponsor, you don't have a sayso, and if that happens it'll be God's will not yours.
__________________
Music is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Music For This Useful Post:
RobbyRobot (11-14-2012), TSDD (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 09:02 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
TSDD's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Posts: 366
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
Im not going to stand by and watch untreated alcoholism take its course
Way to take this other guy's inventory AND minimize him staying sober at the same time! Plenty of folks have thrown this rubbish at me trying to use my back as a rung on their way up the self esteem ladder. Naught for nothing but people trying to bully me with lines like that are a big reason I've avoided going anywhere near steps or step meetings.

My friends encourage me, and as far as everyone OUTSIDE AA in my life who cares about me is concerned I am doing great. They are absolutely thrilled that I'm not getting drunk anymore. Furthermore I'm rather delighted with the person I am when I'm not funneling alcohol into my gullet.

In fact the only people I ever encountered who seem to have a problem with me not drinking anymore are some bullies in AA meetings who feel the way in which I go about not drinking today isn't quite good enough for them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
... this guy wants the solution that recovered members of AA carry.
Well then what's holding him back from coming to your step meeting and jumping on board with whatever it is you want him to do?

IMO if you're using the steps to worry about what OTHER PEOPLE are and are not doing you're doing it way wrong. I have complete confidence that if your attitude, friendship, and "solution" looks appealing to this fellow, he'll come along of his own accord.

I've been around enough time and enough places to see a lot of men and women taking a lot of different roads and all winding up in roughly the same place. I'm no where near conceited enough to believe that I know what someone else does or doesn't "need" to stay sober and have a good life. I'm am quite convinced; however, that anyone looking will find their own answers in AA.
TSDD is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to TSDD For This Useful Post:
ananda (11-17-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 09:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 4,764
Yeah, it seems like what the sponsor is doing (or not doing) is not to your liking, so, talk with the man. You say you know him a bit. Mention to him his sponsee has talked informally with you, and the result is you're bothered, and you want to work this out best you can.

Deal with the source. The sponsee is actually just playing both sides when confiding in you and not speaking directly to his sponsor. Get yourself out of that dilemma by talking with the sponsor. You're already involved, so why not finish it?

You're a good honest man, bbthumper. Don't sweat this. Soon enough it will all be in the past. Do your duty to the sponsor, and then forget about it.

Good luck. Great question, btw.
RobbyRobot is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), CaiHong (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 09:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 4,764
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
I see nothing condescending about suggesting that this guy seeks help elsewhere. Im not going to stand by and watch untreated alcoholism take its course while saying things like "you're doing great" when this guy wants the solution that recovered members of AA carry.
Yeah, works for me too. Well said.
RobbyRobot is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 09:08 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
bbthumper's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,184
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
Yeah, it seems like what the sponsor is doing (or not doing) is not to your liking, so, talk with the man. You say you know him a bit. Mention to him his sponsee has talked informally with you, and the result is you're bothered, and you want to work this out best you can.

Deal with the source. The sponsee is actually just playing both sides when confiding in you and not speaking directly to his sponsor. Get yourself out of that dilemma by talking with the sponsor. You're already involved, so why not finish it?

You're a good honest man, bbthumper. Don't sweat this. Soon enough it will all be in the past. Do your duty to the sponsor, and then forget about it.

Good luck. Great question, btw.
Thanks, Robby and everyone. I think I may speak to the sponsor. We'll see what my sponsor has to say first. I have been known to get wrapped up in trying to deliver a message rather than carry it. Looks liek that is the case once again.
__________________
~BBThumper

~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition


A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
bbthumper is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to bbthumper For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), Music (11-14-2012), paul99 (11-14-2012), RobbyRobot (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 09:36 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Hollyanne's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,570
I just want to say, Remember how green you all were when you joined AA.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
I made a lot of mistakes.
My judgement was bad.
I wish BB was there to give me a heads up about things.
I could have easily dropped out.
I didn't, thankfully.

As long as no one is hurt or defamed, absolutely please talk to newcomers if they tend to be straying off the cliff.
Hollyanne is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Hollyanne For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-14-2012), CaiHong (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), IndaMiricale (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 01:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
BadCompany's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,310
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
What bothers me is the fact that this guy wants to work the steps and his sponsor isnt getting there. He has read the book. Identifies with our COMMON problem and is interested in our COMMON solution. I am one of many who knows and can take another person to that solution. It is a matter of responsibility. AA is a program of recovery, the end result of which is a spiritual awakening. We are given the power to help people. I see nothing condescending about suggesting that this guy seeks help elsewhere. Im not going to stand by and watch untreated alcoholism take its course while saying things like "you're doing great" when this guy wants the solution that recovered members of AA carry.
I'll take anyone through the steps. Anyone. Men, women, other peoples sponsees, no ones sponsees. I keep a couple of notebooks in my vehicles just for that purpose. I don't give a **** if I'm stepping on someones toes. I don't. I have had people pissed at me. I have been sent messages. I don't care if they dump their sponsor and have me sponsor them. I don't care if they work the steps with me and they keep their old sponsor. Getting the new guy through the steps is what we do here. If we fail at that the new guys failure is our fault.

This is a blood sport. Don't ever forget that.
__________________
All quotes are from the Alcoholics Anonymous.1st Edition


We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves. We are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God. -Thomas Merton
BadCompany is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BadCompany For This Useful Post:
bbthumper (11-15-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), KnowHope (11-14-2012), Lily (11-14-2012), shaun00 (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 03:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
*Grateful*
 
Lily's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,587
Blog Entries: 12
I am kind of in agreement w/ BadCompany here. My situation was this: I was sober off and on for 20 yrs but hand never REALLY worked thru the steps until 2 yrs ago...so I had untreated alcoholism. I would go to meetings, I would share at meetings and I would relapse continually because of all the GARBAGE I was carrying around in my heart. Fear, resentments, anger, amends to be made, guilt, depression, anxiety, etc... I needed the steps, I needed the solution!!

Finally a gal sat down w/ me and helped me to work thru the steps QUICKLY and viola.....I recovered! She took the time once a week for about 8 weeks to work w/ me and gave me lots of homework. I am forever grateful for dear "Maria" for being there and working w/ me. I was kind of embarressed at times cuz she knew everything, but even more grateful that she helped me take it to my HP and see my part in it (resentments) and let it go...
Lily is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Lily For This Useful Post:
BadCompany (11-14-2012), bbthumper (11-15-2012), CaiHong (11-14-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), KnowHope (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 06:00 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
shaun00's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,533
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCompany View Post
I'll take anyone through the steps. Anyone. Men, women, other peoples sponsees, no ones sponsees. I keep a couple of notebooks in my vehicles just for that purpose. I don't give a **** if I'm stepping on someones toes. I don't. I have had people pissed at me. I have been sent messages. I don't care if they dump their sponsor and have me sponsor them. I don't care if they work the steps with me and they keep their old sponsor. Getting the new guy through the steps is what we do here. If we fail at that the new guys failure is our fault.

This is a blood sport. Don't ever forget that.
Much the same sir, do we as recovered alcoholics have time to tippy toe around people to guide a newcomer towards a vital power.?...in my experience some are gone and buried within a blink of an eye..

The situation you describe happens a lot here....although, i would say, often the story is not quite as the newcomer describes.

In my experience...still suffering alcoholics sometimes have "sponsors"..are sometimes years dry....but have know idea how too break out of that gnawing
malady inside...
shaun00 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to shaun00 For This Useful Post:
BadCompany (11-14-2012), bbthumper (11-15-2012), IndaMiricale (11-15-2012), KnowHope (11-14-2012), Lily (11-14-2012), paul99 (11-15-2012), RobbyRobot (11-15-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 07:01 PM   #18 (permalink)
Recoveringed
 
KnowHope's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 411
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCompany View Post
I'll take anyone through the steps. Anyone. Men, women, other peoples sponsees, no ones sponsees. I keep a couple of notebooks in my vehicles just for that purpose. I don't give a **** if I'm stepping on someones toes. I don't. I have had people pissed at me. I have been sent messages. I don't care if they dump their sponsor and have me sponsor them. I don't care if they work the steps with me and they keep their old sponsor. Getting the new guy through the steps is what we do here. If we fail at that the new guys failure is our fault.

This is a blood sport. Don't ever forget that.
Amen, many times over.
__________________
A Big Book that is falling apart is used by a person who isn't.
Quotes cited from the 1st edition
KnowHope is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to KnowHope For This Useful Post:
BadCompany (11-14-2012), bbthumper (11-15-2012), IndaMiricale (11-15-2012), Lily (11-14-2012)
Old 11-14-2012, 08:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
Recoveringed
 
KnowHope's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom55 View Post
I beg to differ with those who consider the necessity of working the steps as being promotion rather than attraction. I have found a sponsor who insists I WORK the steps, been doing more homework and reading in the past 90 days than I recall doing in 4 years in high school. Thank the Lord God for her, as I wasted 30 years taking up space in the rooms, doing nothing except trying my best to impress others with my superior intellect (yeah, right!) This program is simple, but the work isn`t easy. But I today have more quality sobriety than I ever did in the several 5 years, one 7 year, and many many many 1 years, 2 weeks, whatever, it matters no more. I am beginning to understand just `How it Works`: the Steps.

My .02 only.

Hope you all are having a blessedly sober day.
f55
Right, attraction rather than promotion comes from tradition 11, in reference to our public relations policy, which can be very different from what we do within Alcoholics Anonymous.

The chapter in the Big Book called Working With Others does a very good job at identifying strategies that collective experience has proven to be generally very effective when trying to help a new prospect. There is an emphasis on approach, which was exactly what the founders practiced themselves by actively going out to find others to help. We can't make them do it, and sometimes we need to lay down the invitation and leave it until the willingness on their part is there (alcohol especially is the great persuader), but it sure sounds like this newcomer is thirsting for the solution now.

I have had so many amazing experiences already when working with others and watching this incredible program work for them before my eyes, but one of the biggest obstacles I can face in looking for new proteges is the population within the rooms that will try to convince newcomers that middle of the road solutions are the AA way forward, which long term I see failing the vast majority of those alcoholic newcomers that try that path. Left untreated or undertreated, we don't know how large or small that window of grace is going to be before the alcoholic mind returns and they drink again.

Although I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions, perhaps many times it's easier to try to convince the newcomer from a clean slate how it makes sense to get plugged into the work without delay than to try to convince someone who has been around awhile on what can at times be a very different understanding of what this program is about.


______

Tradition 11 (Short form) — Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

Tradition 11 (Long form) — Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.

_______


Big Book quotes from the 1st edition
KnowHope is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to KnowHope For This Useful Post:
BadCompany (11-15-2012), bbthumper (11-15-2012), Freedom55 (11-14-2012), paul99 (11-15-2012), RobbyRobot (11-15-2012)
Old 11-15-2012, 05:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 4,754
rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

i used to get offended( and sometimes still do) when others took my inventory. i got a new set of glasses. my thinker dont work right all the time. sometomes i need, even though i may not want, someone to take my inventory, whether it is about working with another alcoholic or practicing the principles in my affairs.
__________________
all big book quotes from 1st edition
tomsteve is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
Freedom55 (11-15-2012), IndaMiricale (11-15-2012), KnowHope (11-15-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:39 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Residential Treatment Center
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2013 Internet Brands. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Health Disclaimer
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites