Alone and Unemployed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 65
Alone and Unemployed
I found SR when I didn't have a job and burned all my bridges with friends. I think the pain of knowing I am an alcoholic is less the disease and more the destruction I have caused in personal relationships. I have lost child hood friends, college friends, and even my family. Some write it off as me being a "party dog," but I hate that moniker. I have always been driven by fear - fear of failing an exam, fear of parental retribution, fear of losing (and actually losing) the love of my life. Yet, I keep going ... numbing myself to all of the destruction I have caused. I have rarely blamed my drinking on others because I tend to be secretive in my addiction. Without insurance and free clinics, I only have a small room and an internet connection. I just hope those tools are enough, combined with will power, to succeed at getting back to my pre-drinking self. Thus, I am thankful for SR as a community.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by SkyBlueSky 
I found SR when I didn't have a job and burned all my bridges with friends. I think the pain of knowing I am an alcoholic is less the disease and more the destruction I have caused in personal relationships. I have lost child hood friends, college friends, and even my family. Some write it off as me being a "party dog," but I hate that moniker. I have always been driven by fear - fear of failing an exam, fear of parental retribution, fear of losing (and actually losing) the love of my life. Yet, I keep going ... numbing myself to all of the destruction I have caused. I have rarely blamed my drinking on others because I tend to be secretive in my addiction. Without insurance and free clinics, I only have a small room and an internet connection. I just hope those tools are enough, combined with will power, to succeed at getting back to my pre-drinking self. Thus, I am thankful for SR as a community.
A great honest post, welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 18
Welcome aboard 
Dunno if you're interested in 12 step programs or not (yes there are other ways to recover that work), but something that helped me a lot was my half-a** attempts at following them especially these steps:
Which reminds me, I need to get back at it if I want to get rid of my stinking thinking.
God Bless you and Good luck!!!
-Jnoob
Dunno if you're interested in 12 step programs or not (yes there are other ways to recover that work), but something that helped me a lot was my half-a** attempts at following them especially these steps:
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Which reminds me, I need to get back at it if I want to get rid of my stinking thinking.
God Bless you and Good luck!!!
-Jnoob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I'm glad you are here, Sky.
You may want to talk with your state's lawyer assistance program if you haven't already done so.
I have been active in my state's LAP for quite a few years now.
Take care.
You may want to talk with your state's lawyer assistance program if you haven't already done so.
I have been active in my state's LAP for quite a few years now.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Sarajevo
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by SkyBlueSky
I found SR when I didn't have a job and burned all my bridges with friends. I think the pain of knowing I am an alcoholic is less the disease and more the destruction I have caused in personal relationships. I have lost child hood friends, college friends, and even my family. Some write it off as me being a "party dog," but I hate that moniker. I have always been driven by fear - fear of failing an exam, fear of parental retribution, fear of losing (and actually losing) the love of my life. Yet, I keep going ... numbing myself to all of the destruction I have caused. I have rarely blamed my drinking on others because I tend to be secretive in my addiction. Without insurance and free clinics, I only have a small room and an internet connection. I just hope those tools are enough, combined with will power, to succeed at getting back to my pre-drinking self. Thus, I am thankful for SR as a community.
In fact, if it was the opposite of your current condition, you would never have a chance to meet Jesus from Nazareth.
I read an interesting text about the man from Germany, who lived grand-style of living type of life - rich, chasing women and all - and frankly, I would not trade my life for his for nothing. Why ? Because when my body dies, I get to live forever. All the other things are added to me.
Point is - use your circumstances. Go out and seek God. Knock on churches door and ask who Jesus is.
Actually, I can send you a list of churches if you give me the city, where you want to seek.
And yes . can you provide feedback ? I am always interested to learn how other cultures and churches perceive my master Jesus.
and yes, don't believe those lies that the enemy is planting into your mind: room with internet connection is what I have right now. And it is very good.
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