Hopeless to Hopeful

Old 08-16-2013, 12:21 AM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 134
Hopeless to Hopeful

Where was I when I discovered SR? ...

I actually had to go back to my first post on SR and that was April 11th, 2013and I posted a 'bumpy road to a new beginning'.

I started visiting SR website many months before I started to detox.

I kept reading everyones posts, comments, and life stories only to keep telling myself that everyone on here was crazy for wanting to give up that drink. Yet, I kept coming back just to see more posts and comments that greatly affected me. Some positive others, it seemed as if I was starring at the screen reading my own story through someone elses struggles and pain.

I started my detox on the 22nd of March, 2013 when the nights before I nearly drove my truck into someone's front porch while driving home from the bar. The weeks prior, I can not remember. I am one that is known to be the raging/blackout drinker.

My life's ending was already written and I was bound for death however, something - now my Higher Power in which I choose to call God, kept me alive.

I tend to wonder why He (God) chose to keep me alive? Am I really worth it? What good do I have to offer? I was a worthless, wrecklace, unforgiving, useless, careless, cold-hearted, raging, piece of garbage who did not even deserve to be called a Human. I only wanted to serve the one thing that felt as if it gave me life, power, strength, and confidence.

NOW ...

I have a relationship with my HP. I have life. Living. Breathing. Thankful and Sober.

I am in AA, have a sponsor, working the steps, and helping those around me just by being a living testimony.

Coming up on my 5 months as of August 22nd.
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