ISPYSOBRIETY

If I never took a first drink, I'd probably be about where I am. I never let alcohol control my life, aside of having drinks at night, after getting home. It took that one time where I drove my car after a few drinks to show me that even a few drinks on a regular basis can result in problems. I guess for me, it's more of a matter the mistake that had resulted because of that first drink. That's why there is no room in my life for it, at all!

Dee74

Welcome givethanx - congratulations on your 10 years!

D

43395

It's alright to look back,but not stare, having already posted a reply on this excellent,'thread', I'll adopt a different approach.

For me then, undoubtdly if I hadn't taken that first drink all the ,'glittering prizes' that society had to offer were mine for the taking , a succesful career in the police service, with the status, material and fiscal rewards that came with it.

I doubt whether my marriage would have survived this as my ex- wife , as is apparent now but hitherto not in the public domain suffers from undiagnosed and therefore untreated ,'autism' so it worsens as the years progress.

My son would have enjoyed a much easier time at university alberit it taught him great self sufficiency, the fruits of which are showing now, 6 years later.

But what about me? It is often remarked that ,' those people who suffer the most become the most spiritual', and everybody here knows the pain suffered under,'the lash of John Barleycorn', but now, with over 1,000 days of sobriety behind me and having entered my ,'third age' as my alcoholism was taken from me I can reflect on both that and a life full of ,'experiential learning' and whilst I'm not yet old enough to be wise , albeit T.E.Lawrence,who never lived to a grand age himself, said this means,'tired and disappointed', I am old enough to be philosophical, so no regrets.

No staring back, for now I do not have faith , as a result of what happened to me, both then and after the 15th of February, 2008 I believe, albeit I was reluctant to do so initially, 28yrs on both sides of the Criminal Justice system will make a cynic out of anyone! I had a ,'spiritual experie nce' and I believe in the god of my understanding, so whilst my life is not filled with the 'rewards of the glittering prizes', my existence in my daily life spent in sobriety, enlarging its spiritual side , living a staid, secure some would say monotonous life is beyond measure with all that is to follow.......

givethanx

after living sober for some years now,I can finally say "when I grow up I wanna be just like me" This is what A.A. and sobriety has given me that money cant buy,My self respect.

slyb

I think looking back at the negative things, coulda woulda shoulda, is not good for you emotionally, it makes you feel guilty, worthless, etc-The same things that can drive us to drink. Although this is just day 2 for me, so what do I know. I know that realistically alcohol and drugs never made me a dollar, got me anywhere, and probably thats the same for everyone else unless your in the business of selling these "products"

"Every day is a new day for the wise man". We need to enjoy what we have left, certainly already I feel some piece of mind, as it has taken me a LONG LONG time to even admit that I had a problem and was fighting a losing battle. I came within a whisker of losing my family which is everything, and still have some other things that are consequences of this disease. But I look forward to what I will be able to create without the dulling and distracting effect of these time wasters. Also, I used to battle the "stigma", like I would be very uncomfortable telling people I am not drinking. But now, screw it, I'm going to stand tall.

myheadhurts

I have absolutely no idea what might have become of me. You can't undo choices so there is no point in thinking about them. From now until I die I can be anything I want to be as long I use my free will to make the choices to get to that end.

invisigoth

Sometimes I think that if I hadn't gotten sidetracked during my teen years I'd ruling the planet now.

Sober02232011

I look at things in this light: What matters is the reality of today, and I have an opportunity to prevent myself being in the same place as I am today, 10 years from now (if I continued with my addictions).. I am proud of who I am today, and happy to have today - and that may not have been the case if things have evolved any differently.

I also realize that if I never developed my addictions, it's very well possible that I was just delaying the inevitable - learning my way beyond addiction and learning many lessons in life which I needed to learn.

pattenat

I have to testify that I really do not believe this. I cannot believe that the GOD I look to now for direction would plan the things that happened in my childhood. I cannot see GOD planning for a child to be molested by a family member for years. I really cannot believe that this would be part of ANY devine plan!

However, I do believe that my life now that I seek sobriety and look to GOD for strength, now it will be as he plans.

If I hadn't taken that first drink alot of things would be different but I cannot dwell on what would be different in my life. I can only look to today and make the changes for a better future.

Keep on keepin' on the path of sobriety and no more "I could have this or I could have that" how about "I am doing this, or I am doing that"

Michelle922

I have often thought about this. I don't think looking back is a bad thing. I look back on my mistakes to help me keep moving forward...otherwise, I might be back on the Wine, lol!! I've embrassed myself, lost two great Jobs that if I didn't come in foggy and thinking clear headed probably would still have. I don't regret that happening for, it helped to to stop. So, if I never had that first drink I would have finished college, wouldn't have pissed off so many of my friends.

navy

Thinking about this question I look back and think that I would have never had to experience jail or some of the other horrible things I did. I would probably have job that pays well and maybe even went to college, but then I also think that I would have probably never gone down the path that I am currently on. I would have never had the oppurtunity to meet my husband and never had the beautiful little girl that I have. I would have never come to this understanding of myself and got to know my higher power the way I did and I probably would have never realized what unconditional love from my parents that I have. I like to look back and think that maybe I experienced a lot of the things I did for a reason and I may not exactly know that reason yet, but I have many years to discover God's plans for me. My life isn't over.

Onewithwings

Had I never tried drugs, I don't know that my life would be much different. I might have a better job or something, but I'd probably have a very similar life. My husband is very supportive, but he also keeps me from hitting a rock bottom. If I didn't have him the story is totally different, I'd probably still be on the streets. Don't think I ever would have gotten back on my feet after my breakup with my last ex boyfriend. I was using a lot (pot, alcohol, and pills) at that time, and probably would have either moved in with a friend in some crappy place, or just found different places to crash.