Emmet Wolf

I found this site roughly two weeks after a relapse of two days...

Dec 28th is my new clean & sober date -- I had 4 1/2 months prior to a Christmas night when I would have told you "everything was fine" -- I had been to a meeting, dropped friends off, went home with nothing to do dec 26th but drive to the airport 100 miles away and pick up my son (13) for a week. (I'm divorced 2 years, he lives with my ex 2 states away -- we had had a fantastic week at Thanksgiving when he came.)

This time I got drunk and didn't make it to pick him up.

I've been thru the "Why did it happen?" stage and beat myself up -- I have had counseling sessions at VA Hospital but its determined I am not crazy enough for a local psych program, neither am I relapsed enough/bad enough off for inpatient rehab 30 miles away...

My friends (mainly AA but also NA) have been tremendous support -- especially my home group which I go to twice a week. I got a new sponsor though (old sponsor didn't want to continue it after my relapse).

I had been at somewhat of a crisis in Spirituality; as well as -- I have to admit -- really still having a resentment I thought I had done the best to let go of.

I found this forum.

I have dropped some of my activities (some church stuff and some meetings) and added other stuff (more NA meetings; the closest to my house of any meetings in town) and a once a week "non-12 step" recovery meeting at a church.

I've been guilty of people-pleasing in the sense of running others around -- giving rides all over town and running myself ragged. This came to a head even after the relapse; that I don't have to be "the AA Taxi" anymore.

This is what is going on with me at this time as I stumble into this Forum.

Hi everybody, my name's not really Emmet offline, but I really am an alcoholic and addict, and I'm Emmet for here - username based on Emmet Fox that wrote The Sermon On The Mount exposition that Dr Bob used to give necomers, Wolf instead of Fox 'cuz Wolf is the brand of Chili I like best.