Tynesider22

I like to think of myself as a friendly lad. Try and be polite and respectful at all times.

I have been sober for over 450 days.

I was walking around Newcastle this morning, around 10am and a lad walked past me, he was drinking from a spirit bottle.

He asked me, politely, if I'd "like a shot of rum mate".

My full intended reply was a polite, but no thank you. But I snapped at him. "No thanks, I don't drink".

I have no idea where that came from and even I know it's out of character for me, which is why I'm posting here.

Being in recovery does not give you an excuse to be a horrible person. I am just very surprised at myself.

Dee74

Being recovered doesn't confer sainthood

Sometimes unabashed and unrepentant drinking will hit me the same way and I find myself being sharp.

Its not envy and it doesn't feel like fear so...maybe its annoyance at the realisation that was me for me too many years, I dunno.

At least you have the humility to recognise and accept you could do better,. Many wouldn't

D

ChloeRose63

It could have been worse...you could have smashed the bottle on the ground!
I think you reacted because you found it repulsive.

aasharon90

We are all a work in progress always learning
new ways to be the best sober person we can
be.

There's always gonna be some person, place
or thing in life that will test us to the core and
it will be us to know how to deal with them when
they catch us off guard.

If this situation happens again, I have a gut
feeling you will have learned by then how to
react and grow from this situation.

I'd remember that sick person in my prayers
hoping one day he will achieve peace, serenity
and sobriety in his life one day.

August252015

Sounds like something any of us could do. Sometimes a nerve gets hit in me and it's seemingly out of the blue- and I don't handle it like I know I am able to do, given how I try to live and stay spiritually fit.

If you see him again, maybe have a chat and learn a little bit about him. Or, maybe you don't want to do that and can give a polite nod. Whatever, letting yourself off the hook is good - ruminating on one incident is not. It would bug me too, but when this stuff happens to me and I react poorly, tho less often now, I have to move on.

For me this might be a good idea to prompt quick review of pgs in the BB that direct how I am to behave, why was I disturbed, etc. Whatever your program or way of finding and keeping over a year of sobriety is, I imagine there's support in it to act on the aftermath of this kind of thing.

Glad you shared.

Callas

Yip, so true. I am often disappointed in myself regarding my reaction to people. Much more so than when I was a drunk. Work in progress indeed.

PhoenixJ

I do not think that makes you a horrible person. Especially since you have posted and learned. I do that sometimes- where stuff just comes out. Like the time my psychologist was late- so I actually presented my watch to him (across the waiting room) and tapped the watch face.
I felt stupid before I even started, but it just happened.
We live and learn.