CAPPA

I have re-wrote this thread three times now trying to get it to post sorry for the mess,

My sponser is not returing my voicemails or phone calls today makes 5 days, before we spoke daily, and attended the same AA meetings. However I find my self reflecting on the past, and when we meet for breakfast or lunch after our AA meetings we would talk about our recovery, and we would help each other. At the time I would quote from the 12&12, and big book rearding our topics. He would laugh and I would say "what" his comment would be "you don't see it but I do you are helping me more than you know I thought he was joking" Now with is change in communication there might be something wrong with him or me. See in the begining he made it clear to me the importance of communication between the two of us, and a lack of could be a possible sign of a relapse, so a constant dialogue is essential for my recovery. I agreed, but now he won't call me,and I have not seen him in our normal AA meeting since monday. I have my wife and famliy that depend on me, I need to stay focused on my own recovery, but I am concerned about him, and I know or hope he has a sponser himself, maybe he is getting help I don't know about. He mentioned I needed to give back to the fellowship was that him saying sponser someone, is his work done with me in his eyes, I notice he has many sponse's while sharing people refer to him as such. I do know that I am a reborn christian, and my personal relationship with Jesus is what keeps me sober now, Please don't say I have just answered my question with that statement either! Advice from sponsers would be greatly appreciated

Doug

Hello Cappa,

It could be possible that something has come up with him that is taking all his attention right now. I understand and appreciate your concern, but try to remember that sponser's are human too.

It's ok to be concerned and/or worried, in the meantime though, try not to let your recovery slip or get set aside. Keep taking care of yourself.

Hang in there Cappa, this will work itself out.

CAPPA

That is what I have been thinking myself, always helps to hear it from someone else. I know I must take care of my recovery first to be there for my wife and family, one of my defects is co-dependancy worried about everyone else use to drive me to drink
thanks

Gooch

Yup.. hang in there .. more will be revealed. My sponsor goes into "stealth mode" .. sometimes I do it too. Like Doug said, it can be due to overwhelming demands of life, or the need to just cut back all of the input and catch up to process all of the information thats been coming.

I dunno if the codependancy is a "defect" or an integral manifestation of addiction itself. It seems to be right in there with the other substitutional behaviors.

"My insides will feel better if I take care of somebody else." "If I had more money and less bills, I'd feel better" "New DVD player, car, house, or maybe this piece of chrome" Anything that focuses our attention away from the connection with our higher power, any method we use to reinforce the illusion that we are in control.

I'm just an addict. that term explains all of the rampant refusal and other distractive behaviors that interfere with my acceptance of my place in the universe as exactly where I should be.

abtchonamission

Why not try calling some of the other people in your support network... they may not be your sponsor, but have probably had alot of the same feelings that you are and could help you deal until your sponsor is reachable again.

CAPPA

My sponser called left a voicemail from his voicemail in this mode does not ring phone guess he does not want to talk saying he was under the weather, he sounded as such. We still are playing phone tag , he always says that my voice tells him I am doing fine so he feels comfortable with leaving voicemails on my phone, and not always answering my calls. During our AA meetings he has mentioned that he gets paranoid about himself and withdraws from the public. I am outgoing, so this behavior is frustating for me. I always answer the phone when it is someone in the fellowship,

CAPPA RT(R)

Beloved

Well Cappa, sponsors are recovering addicts you know. sometime life on life terms gets in the way of other things. so sponsee brothers, and members of your home group , 10th step partners and other relations out-side the fellowship is very important. that's why we as addicts must stay plugged-in and (GOD) is the ultimate authority .and we shall continue to be gratiful for this spiritual program.one can only give what they are allowed to give and nothing more. through experience, strength, and hope. or he maybe in the need of a personal visit, not as his sponsee, but as a concerned friend. because we do estabish close, and loving relationships with our sponsors. remember unity is a must,he may well need your support. but pride , and or ego won't allow him to reach out to you . but one addict helping another is with out parellel. yes staying clean , and sober must come first. but as you stay in this process of recovery you know that the only way to keep what you have you must give it away. So hopefully you and he have layed your foundation, and your spiritually fit to make possibly a 12 step call.to help bring him back to the world of recovery. And then we all maybe just over reacting , and he may just need some special quiet time for prayer , mediation, and deliverance he may have a few issues that he is working-on with a sponsor. do you have a grand-sponsor if so go to him and share your concerns.there could be a crisis ,or ill-ness in the family but you want know until you go. (Beloved)