what is the true magic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 113
what is the true magic
what is the true magic one has to face to get sober. I have hit rock bottem so hard but this thing in me still wants to drink. What is it about alcoholism that it takes to beat it? any old timers willing to advise?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 144
I think it varies on the person and their own personal experience zoomi My biggest motivator was the search for a kind of natural happiness that I knew existed. Sober recovery forums and chat helped me greatly during the first six months when it was the most difficult. So did a pint of ice cream each evening to curb the sugar cravings.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I wouldn't call myself an old timer.. lol but for me, it was wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Didn't matter what that voice in my head suggested...drinking was not an option.
Support was key for me, it felt so good to be among others who understood and didn't judge. I was accepted "as is".
I also filled my time with productive activities, be it working out, going to a meeting, walking, anything to keep my sanity.
There is no magic or sobriety fairy that's going to get you sober... it comes from within my friend. You can do this IF you want it bad enough.
Posting here makes me think you do. Go for it zoomi!
Support was key for me, it felt so good to be among others who understood and didn't judge. I was accepted "as is".
I also filled my time with productive activities, be it working out, going to a meeting, walking, anything to keep my sanity.
There is no magic or sobriety fairy that's going to get you sober... it comes from within my friend. You can do this IF you want it bad enough.
Posting here makes me think you do. Go for it zoomi!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
A conversion experience seems to be the most effective solution for alcoholics of my type. Usually such an experience follows complete defeat. We gain victory through unconditional surrender.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I found the magic was adopting a certain mindset. When I finally decided to quit, I had to stop drinking alcohol , stop the physical acts of bending my elbow and putting a drink in my mouth. Even if I wanted to.
I thought to quit I had to focus on the not wanting to, but by changing my pov , I found the more time that elapsed from my last drink, the less 'wanting to' (the AV) there was. The magic seems to be that there is no magic. Or the magic can be accepting that the solution is simple , not easy but more simple than not. The wanting to not drink, be sober, more than wanting to continue being addicted.
wish you well
I thought to quit I had to focus on the not wanting to, but by changing my pov , I found the more time that elapsed from my last drink, the less 'wanting to' (the AV) there was. The magic seems to be that there is no magic. Or the magic can be accepting that the solution is simple , not easy but more simple than not. The wanting to not drink, be sober, more than wanting to continue being addicted.
wish you well
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Magic just wish there was a Magic that worked.. you have to dig in hold tight and know its going to be a bumpy ride.. but just keep at it.. when you are going to be negitive look in a mirror be negative to that person.. and see if you can take you.. prayers and hopes for a better day... ardy
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by Opivotal 
...but for me, it was wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
I sometimes wonder if there is a real flip of the switch toward wanting or not wanting, or rather simply an acceptance of what needs to be done to get sober?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by jazzfish
I hear this a lot, but how can we turn it into an actionable piece of advice? How does one acquire the "wanting to" but avoid drinking one's self into oblivion and desperation?
I sometimes wonder if there is a real flip of the switch toward wanting or not wanting, or rather simply an acceptance of what needs to be done to get sober?
I sometimes wonder if there is a real flip of the switch toward wanting or not wanting, or rather simply an acceptance of what needs to be done to get sober?
What's working for me, so far, and it might not be the healthiest or kindest thing to do, is to bring to mind the tally of awful/shameful/regrettable things I did when I was drunk. The list is always longer, and longer lasting, than the list of ill-perceived benefits. I still get waves of shame, if that's the right word, for things I did and said weeks/months/years ago.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by NikTes
Hey jazz, I've been wondering about this too -- about the actionability.
What's working for me, so far, and it might not be the healthiest or kindest thing to do, is to bring to mind the tally of awful/shameful/regrettable things I did when I was drunk. The list is always longer, and longer lasting, than the list of ill-perceived benefits. I still get waves of shame, if that's the right word, for things I did and said weeks/months/years ago.
What's working for me, so far, and it might not be the healthiest or kindest thing to do, is to bring to mind the tally of awful/shameful/regrettable things I did when I was drunk. The list is always longer, and longer lasting, than the list of ill-perceived benefits. I still get waves of shame, if that's the right word, for things I did and said weeks/months/years ago.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Opivotal View Post
...but for me, it was wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
I really...Really...REALLY wanted to quit for years, yet failed hundreds of times. Then I finally figured out that I drink because I am a "alcoholic" and can't possibly stay stopped using willpower, choices or decisions.
The only reason that I am sober today is because I treat the ISM component of my alcohol-ISM with actions that attract a Higher Power into my life that solves my drinking problem for me.
Today I make no attempt to manage my sobriety nor does not-drinking play a conscious roll in my sobriety. Sobriety is simply one of the many byproducts of having a Spiritual Awakening.
A Spiritual Awakening is the most comfortable way to stay sober, the most natural way to stay sober and the most reliable way to stay sober.
...but for me, it was wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
Originally Posted by jazzfish
I hear this a lot, but how can we turn it into an actionable piece of advice? How does one acquire the "wanting to" but avoid drinking one's self into oblivion and desperation?
I sometimes wonder if there is a real flip of the switch toward wanting or not wanting, or rather simply an acceptance of what needs to be done to get sober?
I sometimes wonder if there is a real flip of the switch toward wanting or not wanting, or rather simply an acceptance of what needs to be done to get sober?
The only reason that I am sober today is because I treat the ISM component of my alcohol-ISM with actions that attract a Higher Power into my life that solves my drinking problem for me.
Today I make no attempt to manage my sobriety nor does not-drinking play a conscious roll in my sobriety. Sobriety is simply one of the many byproducts of having a Spiritual Awakening.
A Spiritual Awakening is the most comfortable way to stay sober, the most natural way to stay sober and the most reliable way to stay sober.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
What is the true magic one has to face to get sober?
YOU.
Believe you can do this, believe you deserve to have this life without the misery of addiction, believe you deserve some peace and contentment in your life. We are made of star stuff after all.
Believe in magic. Believe in you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 14
Well zoomi, if nothing changes then nothing changes. There must be enough pain in order to change.
Why do you keep hitting rock bottom. Because you havent learned your lesson yet. What is the lesson to be learned you and everyone else on this forum is probably asking. Its called the "Addictive Cycle" Its the exact same cycle for each and every problem there is. It does not and never will have anything to do with anything "out there", its within you/us/me/I/we that is the problem.
I read the instructions for some sleeping pills my doctor prescribed me. It says take one pill on a full stomach and avoid all alcohol. I tell myself maybe it will be better to take on an empty stomach so that it will take effect quicker, so I can go to bed and wake up at 7am instead of 2pm. So I can go look for a job. I do that for awhile, then I say to myself, well maybe I better take 4 pills instead of 1 on an empty stomach so I can wake up earlier instead of noon. Then I say to myself, maybe it will be better to take these 4 pills on an empty stomach with a couple tall cans of beer, maybe it will take effect quicker.
Its easy to see the problem in that example. Its harder to see it, when you are doing it.
That is human nature, and the Crux to Human Addiction.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
I know best. I am not like other people, I am different and heres why........
If only I can do it this way, instead of that way.
Go to the doctor again, lie to doctor, western way is more meds, more pills.
Go to head doctor, lie to them and wonder why we keep doing bad things.
Why do you keep hitting rock bottom. Because you havent learned your lesson yet. What is the lesson to be learned you and everyone else on this forum is probably asking. Its called the "Addictive Cycle" Its the exact same cycle for each and every problem there is. It does not and never will have anything to do with anything "out there", its within you/us/me/I/we that is the problem.
I read the instructions for some sleeping pills my doctor prescribed me. It says take one pill on a full stomach and avoid all alcohol. I tell myself maybe it will be better to take on an empty stomach so that it will take effect quicker, so I can go to bed and wake up at 7am instead of 2pm. So I can go look for a job. I do that for awhile, then I say to myself, well maybe I better take 4 pills instead of 1 on an empty stomach so I can wake up earlier instead of noon. Then I say to myself, maybe it will be better to take these 4 pills on an empty stomach with a couple tall cans of beer, maybe it will take effect quicker.
Its easy to see the problem in that example. Its harder to see it, when you are doing it.
That is human nature, and the Crux to Human Addiction.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
I know best. I am not like other people, I am different and heres why........
If only I can do it this way, instead of that way.
Go to the doctor again, lie to doctor, western way is more meds, more pills.
Go to head doctor, lie to them and wonder why we keep doing bad things.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
The Mind -> Body Connection
I'm not a Magician. I did not use Magic. Consider this for a moment...
Human Hands are typing these Posts. The Human Brain is composing various Thoughts and POVs. Human Body Parts - like Legs and Feet - are going to the Liquor Store/Bottle Shop, and removing a Wallet from a Pocket [or not]. There are no smoky Tendrils swirling around us from the Clouds as we do these things.
Transferring a very difficult - but fully Human - decision to Sober up to some Dimension outside of me would forfeit the necessary, ultimate control from me. Ironically, to even conceive of such an other-Worldly Entity is - ta da - a Thought originating in the Human Brain, and given some convenient name by the Human Brain. The words to describe said magical Entity are spoken by the Human Mouth. My POV is: take some credit - and responsibility - for Sobering up, already...
Understanding this, and taking full responsibility for this Earthly Reality, my Human Brain made the internal decision to stop Drinking. I did this by compartmentalizing the action of Drinking, and then moving it into the Category of unthinkable things I just don't do. This got easier, and it got easier fairly quickly; despite me having downed ~1 Bottle of Vodka daily. I alone owned the decision of quitting.
Every day, I get up and don't kick my Dog. Every day, I get up and don't punch my Wife. Every day, I get up and don't steal Money from my Friend's Dresser on the way past it while using his Bathroom. Every day, I don't Drink. Those are equivalent Statements and unthinkable actions if I decide they are.
As soon as I 'excuse' myself by fraudulently calling quitting some exercise in 'Willpower', I've disabled myself by viewing quitting as some 'fight'. Not kicking my Dog today is not a 'fight' of Willpower to be won. I simply don't do it. Most of us can quickly compile a long List of things we just don't do. Add 'picking up that first Drink' to that List. This is an important start.
Almost every Day, Folks risk their Lives to save another Person. Folks realize strength they always had - but didn't think they did - and lift a Car off a Person it's fallen on. Yogis, and famous Magician Harry Houdini, used nothing but their inherent Mental Capacity to slow their Heart Rates to ~30 Beats/Minute. We mentally wake ourselves from unpleasant Dreams using intrinsic Mental Capacity. No swirling Tendrils from the Clouds do any of these things I list here. We do them all; even if our Human Brains assign an other-Worldly name to these Actions. That's kewl. Whatever it takes, eh?
Along with new Routines, the Mental Capacity most all of us already have can get you much closer to where you want to be: Sober. Fact is, it's the way countless numbers of Drunks quit >100 years ago, and further back in History.
I didn't keep doing things that were known to not work for me. I did what does work. As with Dorothy Gale at the end of 'The Wizard Of Oz', I had the power to Sober up all along; just as Dorothy had the power to go Home all along. My Lesson to be learned was that I alone had to utilize my intrinsic power. As my primary support Mechanism, SR provided many hundreds of Human 'Advisors' whose POVs I accessed 24/7 as required; regardless of my location.
All the best...
-
Human Hands are typing these Posts. The Human Brain is composing various Thoughts and POVs. Human Body Parts - like Legs and Feet - are going to the Liquor Store/Bottle Shop, and removing a Wallet from a Pocket [or not]. There are no smoky Tendrils swirling around us from the Clouds as we do these things.
Transferring a very difficult - but fully Human - decision to Sober up to some Dimension outside of me would forfeit the necessary, ultimate control from me. Ironically, to even conceive of such an other-Worldly Entity is - ta da - a Thought originating in the Human Brain, and given some convenient name by the Human Brain. The words to describe said magical Entity are spoken by the Human Mouth. My POV is: take some credit - and responsibility - for Sobering up, already...
Understanding this, and taking full responsibility for this Earthly Reality, my Human Brain made the internal decision to stop Drinking. I did this by compartmentalizing the action of Drinking, and then moving it into the Category of unthinkable things I just don't do. This got easier, and it got easier fairly quickly; despite me having downed ~1 Bottle of Vodka daily. I alone owned the decision of quitting.
Every day, I get up and don't kick my Dog. Every day, I get up and don't punch my Wife. Every day, I get up and don't steal Money from my Friend's Dresser on the way past it while using his Bathroom. Every day, I don't Drink. Those are equivalent Statements and unthinkable actions if I decide they are.
As soon as I 'excuse' myself by fraudulently calling quitting some exercise in 'Willpower', I've disabled myself by viewing quitting as some 'fight'. Not kicking my Dog today is not a 'fight' of Willpower to be won. I simply don't do it. Most of us can quickly compile a long List of things we just don't do. Add 'picking up that first Drink' to that List. This is an important start.
Almost every Day, Folks risk their Lives to save another Person. Folks realize strength they always had - but didn't think they did - and lift a Car off a Person it's fallen on. Yogis, and famous Magician Harry Houdini, used nothing but their inherent Mental Capacity to slow their Heart Rates to ~30 Beats/Minute. We mentally wake ourselves from unpleasant Dreams using intrinsic Mental Capacity. No swirling Tendrils from the Clouds do any of these things I list here. We do them all; even if our Human Brains assign an other-Worldly name to these Actions. That's kewl. Whatever it takes, eh?
Along with new Routines, the Mental Capacity most all of us already have can get you much closer to where you want to be: Sober. Fact is, it's the way countless numbers of Drunks quit >100 years ago, and further back in History.
I didn't keep doing things that were known to not work for me. I did what does work. As with Dorothy Gale at the end of 'The Wizard Of Oz', I had the power to Sober up all along; just as Dorothy had the power to go Home all along. My Lesson to be learned was that I alone had to utilize my intrinsic power. As my primary support Mechanism, SR provided many hundreds of Human 'Advisors' whose POVs I accessed 24/7 as required; regardless of my location.
All the best...
-
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
I had to admit to myself that I could never go back.
Could never go back to the way it was when I drank before crossing that line.
The line, you know, the one that divides the casual drinker into full blown alcoholic.
So I know now, I can't go back. And I've accepted that.
Now there's nothing more to dwell on.
What was, is gone and what will be is a challenge at times.
But, it manageable and for me, life is best served straight up.
Could never go back to the way it was when I drank before crossing that line.
The line, you know, the one that divides the casual drinker into full blown alcoholic.
So I know now, I can't go back. And I've accepted that.
Now there's nothing more to dwell on.
What was, is gone and what will be is a challenge at times.
But, it manageable and for me, life is best served straight up.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
For me it is the willingness to do absolutely anything to get and stay sober.
Today I ask myself is this action moving toward sobriety or away and there better be a whole lot more steps toward than away
Today I ask myself is this action moving toward sobriety or away and there better be a whole lot more steps toward than away
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I have to wonder how Tiger Woods reached that level of golf excellence, or Steve Vai or Ry Cooder came to play their guitars that particular way. I bet they felt that doing the same thing over and over would give them different results that someday might lead to greatness. They had to believe in themselves. I think that a belief in self is an asset in conquering any challenge, and conquering an addiction is a good example of that.
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