so2014

I went to my first AA meeting last night. It was a "beginner's meeting" with closed discussion. There were only 6 of us there. Everyone was warm, friendly and welcoming; however I was definitely the only true "beginner." One lady had been sober for 20 years. I think the shortest, other than me, was 7 months (me= 3 days).

So it was nice, but I'm left saying "now what?" The discussion was on a particular topic; everyone there other than me shared their thoughts, but I wasn't ready to speak up. They were talking about topics like "self will," which I understand as a general term but not as it relates to alchoholics or the recovery process.

So . . . do I keep going to beginner's meetings? How and when do you start the 12 steps? How and when do you find a sponsor? Do I just keep going to meetings until I find one I like? I guess I thought, given the name "12 steps" there would be more of a set process. Like they would give me some papers and lists to check-off or something. Is there any process, or do you just go to meetings until one day you understand what is going on?

thanks for any advice

biminiblue

Keep going back. There is a process, but it isn't necessarily in a particular time frame.

Buy a Big Book and read it - all the steps are explained in there. Go to different meetings other than beginner meetings, every meeting has its own personality and you'll see similarities.

The Big Book is also online. Read the chapter that begins on p.58 titled "How It Works."

Good for you for asking for help.

Welcome to the site here!

Fly N Buy

Good for you on your willingness! That is the key.......

Yes, lots of questions. First get the AA Book - referred to as the Big Book. The first 164 pages is the program of AA.

Take your time, the answers to all your questions will be found. I attend meetings of different groups in my area. I like different perspectives - not sure if this is an option for you.

Here's a link to AA website - good starting point.
Alcoholics Anonymous : What Is A.A.?

Also, there is a forum on SR you may check out that is specific to AA -

Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Glad your here.....keep coming back!

MIRecovery

Go to a few different meetings and find ones you like. Listen and get to know the people. When you find someone who has what you want ask them if they would be your sponsor.

Just go to meetings and start building a support network. The pieces will fall into place by themselves

Redmayne

I'm a bit surprised by the content of your thread, I would've hoped, despite by this being a 'closed' meeting no one identified you, simply by way of introducing themselves as someone attending their first meeting.

This said, as by tradition, if not as in this case, by practice, the 'newcomer' is usually seen as the most important person in the room.

Based on the longstanding premise that if it weren't for new members, whilst I'm not suggesting AA would cease to exist, it would lose its impetus, a fact well known by many, expounded in the 12 Traditions, 'Recovery, Unity, Service' of always being responsible, not least for the welfare of other alcoholics.

Still, you can keep going there or do like many others do, attend other groups meetings until you find one that suits you. A Meetings List of other groups in your area, together with other AA literature, books, cd's is usually available at well run groups meetings.

Along with this I endorse all the other comment that's been made already, getting a copy of the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' ensuring you not only read it but fully understand its content, not least 'The Doctor's Opinion' and the first 164 pages! Getting someone, preferably a Sponsor, once you get to know people who can take you through the book and its contents and the suggested 12 Step program of recovery.

Above all, don't give up, if you're not getting what you want, there or anywhere else, keep going 'til you do , but get it, ok!

Which is what I did, ok, so you're talking to the voice of experience....

Redmayne

Just as a helpful suggestion, can I suggest you try the Newcomers to Recovery forum...

Boleo

That would be a good start. Plus, try posting this in the 12 step forum as well.

Mountainmanbob

Good for starters.
Be not afraid to ask someone to be your temporary Sponsor.
Many times these turn out to be of great help.
We don't slack up with our Recovery - keeping vigilant.

MM

luvmygirls

I've only been to a few meetings (less than 15, and all except one were years ago) but there were always a LOT of people there, so since I was new I tried to blend in and learn. It doesn't seem like you would be able to do that with only 5 other people, so I'm surprised that they didn't ask you any questions or provide guidance. This time around, I did buy the big book at Barnes and Noble in the self-help section, if you're looking for it in a hard copy version. Good luck!