Paul123456

not sure this is the right place but anyway, anyone been accused of drinking while quitting? im actually furious at the moment as my parents just let it slip that they think I have some kind of stash of booze and what is there evidence you ask?? the fact that I have managed to sleep the last few nights, yeah im sleeping while both of them are drinking themselves stupid!

its really got to me, I know im 8 days sober and proud of it and I have had no words of encouragement from any of them and now this, its really upset me and Im angry that im angry

Mountainmanbob

with only 8 days sober
we should not expect all
to believe in our sobriety
with time they will see change
MM

StevenT

I've gotta agree with Bob. I know that for myself I drank and drugged for a long time. Took time sober for people to believe it, and some don't feel I've changed from the person I was. Give it time. The truth reveals itself, always.

GotGrace

Paul, I am sorry you have to deal with this so early in your journey. Let your actions speak. No need to engage with their accusations beyond saying that you haven't been drinking. Sounds like they are projecting. Hang in there and let your life speak for you.

hopeful4

First off, congrats on your progress!

From the other side of the coin, I am struggling with my husband with this exact thing right now. I am trying not to accuse him, but in the past he has relapsed after about 30 days and it was a cycle. I watch him and I do it out of fear. Fear he will relpase and ruin his life and the life of our children.

I am only posting here (I am normally in F&F) only because I thought maybe it would help you hear from the other side, like it does for me. It helps me hear you say you are frustrated b/c I know I cause that same type of frustration (although I am not a drinker myself).

I encourage you to continue to be self aware of what you are doing and try in every way to tune the rest out. In time, actions match up with words and form trust. It sounds like they have some issues of their own they need to work on, maybe your being an example to them will help them see that.

It's always actions that matter, not the words.

Good luck in your recovery, and God Bless.

matt4x4

They know that we like to hide our stash.
They know that we lie. We have lied for so long.
You expect them to believe every word you say on what? day 9
It takes time to get the trust back.
Trust is given back over time, by the actions you do.
Your family is just as sick as you. Tell them about Al-Anon.

KateL

You will get their trust eventually. If they are drinking heavily they probably don't know what they are saying anyway. Best just take no notice. Well done you xxxxx

Paul123456

just for the record I have never lied to them on how much I drank, I was extremely open with them and everyone else about my problem and I have never had a stash, thought id clear that up, I have never been dishonest about this or anything else with them which is why it annoys me so much about what they said.

I have well documented problems with them but being there son id expect a little of encouragement

doggonecarl

Unmet expectations are just resentments waiting to fester. And resentments are recovery killers. Stay the course, encouragement or not. If you stay sober, they'll figure it out.

silentrun

I have been and it really irritated me. I get really emotional when I go through PAWS. My husband 3 times now has asked me if I have been drinking during these episodes. I never had a stash or was asked to quit. I have never said before I was going to quit and then went back. He doesn't even believe I have that bad of a problem. So why would he think I was drinking and hiding it? Sometimes I think they don't know what to make of us. Don't let it discourage you.

hopeful4

I just want to say keep coming back. I know this board is no replacement for your parents, but it is great you are so self aware of what your are doing and your honesty. Be proud of what you are doing and don't let anyone else get in the way of your recovery.

Just a thought, maybe they do those things they are accusing you of, so they assume you do too? No idea, it is just a thought.

Keep going, you can do this!

Paul123456

thanks everyone, I do feel much better now, they just get to me sometimes, thanks for the kind words

archenemy

Omg do I know. I am stone sober...I lost a tooth I didn't take care of. Now when I talk it sounds like I am slurring my words Drunk! So everyone that talks to me now probably thinks I am Drunk! I just cannot win...

silentrun

I just now got asked if I was drinking because I bought a 2liter of coke yesterday. Granted a seldom buy pop anymore because I am avoiding sugar but drinking? I hid the effects of the alcohol but never the bottle. It is very discouraging. I haven't asked for anything from anyone outside of this forum the whole past year. The only time he ever wants to bring it up is to ask me if I have failed.

matt4x4

Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps can help out tremendously, if and only if you work it as its layed out in the our basic text book called the Big Book. A text book is meant to be studied. They got stories in them so you can relate.