I like being an alcoholic....
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I like being an alcoholic....
I like being an alcoholic, because ....
In recovery, and after 6 years of what may rightly be considered a prolonged period of sobriety, apart from the many gifts it's brought me.
It's seen the return of my own self dignity and credibility, as a person.
Together with the ability to seek the same credibility in other people and things that surround me...
Where that is lacking, tells me that my presence is no longer required or needed there.
Which is a far cry from my delusional, drinking days', which very often, limited my choice over anything, other than where to get my next drink!
On that basis alone, setting aside the joy of life in sobriety, being a recovering alcoholic, seems a fair exchange ....
In recovery, and after 6 years of what may rightly be considered a prolonged period of sobriety, apart from the many gifts it's brought me.
It's seen the return of my own self dignity and credibility, as a person.
Together with the ability to seek the same credibility in other people and things that surround me...
Where that is lacking, tells me that my presence is no longer required or needed there.
Which is a far cry from my delusional, drinking days', which very often, limited my choice over anything, other than where to get my next drink!
On that basis alone, setting aside the joy of life in sobriety, being a recovering alcoholic, seems a fair exchange ....
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
To answer your query...
On the night of the 14th/15th , Feb., 2008 alone and saw debilitated by alcohol, I could only crawl on my stomach, like a snake and manage to heave myself into bed. Where I lay, in certain fear that I wouldn't see the next day. Crying, begging and praying for release from my alcoholism ...
As oblivion began to overtake me, I dreamt (?) I was falling downwards, through a pitch black night, the stars were rushing up on either side of me. Just before I lost consciousness, I felt a dull, tug in the middle of my body. As if something had been removed from it.
The next morning came, I felt ill, but maintained myself through the day on light snacks, tea, coffee, milk , smoking. Nothing special and to ill to think of alcohol.
Day after a little better, eventually, in the late afternoon, I made a light meal for myself, not before getting myself 4 cans of supper strong lager, my usual 'drug of choice'. Ate a couple of mouthfuls, drank a couple of mouthfuls and was immediately sick. After vomiting the contents of my stomach up, I felt so ill, I poured the booze down the sink and the meal in the rubbish bin!
Maintained myself the next day, light snacks, non alcoholic drinks, etc.
The following day, I repeated the light meal , plus some cans of weaker strength lager, with exactly the same result as when I first tried it...
Within the next few days, I felt weak, but managed to maintain myself, rest, etc with no desire to drink alcohol...
I managed to see a counsellor from the Drug and Alcohol Abuse Unit, not my usual one, who I knew had left, but a new, less experienced one. She could offer nothing, so still not drinking, we left it at that to see how I progressed...
For the next couple of months, cartons of sweetened soya milk, replaced my 'drug of choice', along with smoking and as healthier diet as I could pick out for myself.As I was already retired, I didn't have the burden of work...
So, I guess you could say, I just convalesced...and took care of myself, avoiding as much as possible, those people, places and situations that might cause me trouble and provoke the desire to drink...
With the passage of time, that has become easier, the danger though, is very much to avoid any complacency. Though now, in practical terms, I never think about alcohol, whoever I'm with, wherever I go, it's totally alien to me...
That being said, you'd go a long way to find anyone who knows as much about alcohol and its effects, alcoholism. the contents of the book, 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. Which I still regard as one of the few books, that's never lied to me, unlike alcohol!
I must admit, that although I attended A A meetings, intermittently over my 30 year drinking history and regard the Fellowship of AA, as a fine organisation, it never worked for me.
What did work for me, was following the advice, on the first line of Chapter 3, of the 'Big Book' 4th Ed., together with,'The Doctors Opinion' and the contents of the personal story,' The Keys to the Kingdom' p.275, 'A.A. is not a plan for recovery...etc., etc. '
I hope this manages to go some way, to answer your query...the only thing that remains undecided is whether or not, I had a 'psychic or spiritual experience' see - 'The Doctors Opinion', bet you can guess which one I prefer...
As oblivion began to overtake me, I dreamt (?) I was falling downwards, through a pitch black night, the stars were rushing up on either side of me. Just before I lost consciousness, I felt a dull, tug in the middle of my body. As if something had been removed from it.
The next morning came, I felt ill, but maintained myself through the day on light snacks, tea, coffee, milk , smoking. Nothing special and to ill to think of alcohol.
Day after a little better, eventually, in the late afternoon, I made a light meal for myself, not before getting myself 4 cans of supper strong lager, my usual 'drug of choice'. Ate a couple of mouthfuls, drank a couple of mouthfuls and was immediately sick. After vomiting the contents of my stomach up, I felt so ill, I poured the booze down the sink and the meal in the rubbish bin!
Maintained myself the next day, light snacks, non alcoholic drinks, etc.
The following day, I repeated the light meal , plus some cans of weaker strength lager, with exactly the same result as when I first tried it...
Within the next few days, I felt weak, but managed to maintain myself, rest, etc with no desire to drink alcohol...
I managed to see a counsellor from the Drug and Alcohol Abuse Unit, not my usual one, who I knew had left, but a new, less experienced one. She could offer nothing, so still not drinking, we left it at that to see how I progressed...
For the next couple of months, cartons of sweetened soya milk, replaced my 'drug of choice', along with smoking and as healthier diet as I could pick out for myself.As I was already retired, I didn't have the burden of work...
So, I guess you could say, I just convalesced...and took care of myself, avoiding as much as possible, those people, places and situations that might cause me trouble and provoke the desire to drink...
With the passage of time, that has become easier, the danger though, is very much to avoid any complacency. Though now, in practical terms, I never think about alcohol, whoever I'm with, wherever I go, it's totally alien to me...
That being said, you'd go a long way to find anyone who knows as much about alcohol and its effects, alcoholism. the contents of the book, 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. Which I still regard as one of the few books, that's never lied to me, unlike alcohol!
I must admit, that although I attended A A meetings, intermittently over my 30 year drinking history and regard the Fellowship of AA, as a fine organisation, it never worked for me.
What did work for me, was following the advice, on the first line of Chapter 3, of the 'Big Book' 4th Ed., together with,'The Doctors Opinion' and the contents of the personal story,' The Keys to the Kingdom' p.275, 'A.A. is not a plan for recovery...etc., etc. '
I hope this manages to go some way, to answer your query...the only thing that remains undecided is whether or not, I had a 'psychic or spiritual experience' see - 'The Doctors Opinion', bet you can guess which one I prefer...
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 109
To Redmayne...Thanks yea u answered my query. Your dream was scary..maybe it was telling u about one of your organs. Sounds like u were getting sick from alcohol. I saw like 7 of my friends or drinking buddies die from cirroshis. That was a shocking sight for me cuz last I had seen them they looked completely fine. All of them drank until the day of their passing. One of them was only 37 yrs old! Alcohol really is Poison, isn't it?
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Thank you...
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reply to your queries,and to you Raider, but always remember my six year of sobriety was helped in part by Ho Chi Minh's saying, "A journey of 1,000 miles, starts with the first step."
Which if you link it to the suggested 12 Steps of recovery, seems quite appropriate in the circumstances...
Which if you link it to the suggested 12 Steps of recovery, seems quite appropriate in the circumstances...
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