MrsGrownup

I feel like I can get away with drinking everyday!

alphaomega

Hi Mrs - might I ask how old you are and for how long you have been drinking ? Also, what is your drinking pattern ? Do you get hangovers ?

MrsGrownup

Hi, I'm 33. I've always drank pretty heavily socially. My drinking has changed in the last 4years I guess. I do not leave the house in the morning with out a swig of something, depending on my day, I will have at least one or two drinks throughout day! A sense of relief comes once I've picked up my kids because I don't have to drive any more so I can actually pour myself a drink. On average I guess I'd have 5/6 threw the evening. In bed pretty early. On the weekends I binge. When my husband is home(he works away) to drive I don't hold back. Hangovers no...not really. Lately I've been waking threw the night more often and I sometime have a headache but not by morning.

Threshold

Well, it sounds like you do get away with drinking every day. Many people don't quit until the impact of drinking gets SO bad they either can't ignore it or it begins to strip their lives of the things most important to them.

Quitting now would most likely prevent some REALLY crappy things from happening down the line. But it's your life and your risk to take...

Except for the fact that you have kids, and I truly believe that responsibility trumps all others. I feel that we owe it to ourkids to not put their lives and well being in danger via our drinking.

If you won't quit for your own sake, you still owe it to them to get and stay sober.

MrsGrownup

The drinking and driving this scares me...thats new and BAD. I feel the distance growing between me and my kids when I've had a few, my patience. I know it's all staring to spiral. I feel it!
Do I jump straight into AA? Counseling ? I've never been to talk to anyone...and honestly the idea of NEVER having another drink is ridiculous to me. I don't want to be doing what I'm doing now but is there ever a way to change it and drink more responsibly in the future?

Threshold

Honestly, probably not a way to drink responsibly in the future.

Thing is, we wouldn't long so much for that if we didn't clearly have a serious problem. For people to whom booze is just a sometimes thing...if they were told they had to stop for a medical reason or something...they probably wouldn't panic at the thought. So it's sort of like, if the thought makes us panic..probably a sign that nope, drinking is out.

Good news is that we get to where we don't need to drink. Where we don't obsess over it, and where we don't miss it all the time. That is the part we can't grasp at first...seems impossible to live without it, but we do get there and it's fine. We sort of outgrow it, like many things we outgrew from our childhood.

May feel very scary to get honest with another person about this. I'm glad you came here. But you should probably talk to a Dr about stopping and whether you need some medical supervision during that time. Some people do have physical withdrawals that need attention. I have no way of knowing if that applies to you. Please don't use it as a reason to hesitate. It's just a wise precaution.

I would suggest going to an AA meeting, it's a good way to hear some experience of real live people and feel like yes, we have an issue, yes, there is hope, yes there is life after drinking and we are not alone.

Many people here have benefitted from counseling, hopefully they'll join this discussion.

I have found this forum to be a great asset in my recovery as well. Many different experiences, opinions, methods of recovery etc.

No one is ever sorry they quit in the long run. Yes, sure, we'll have a bad day when we think "I never should have quit"...but truly, I have never heard anyone who said they should have stayed drunk another decade or so.

Glad to have you on board.

MrsGrownup

Ok here goes...this is what I'm taking from tonight...I didn't have a drink today, I know I'll want one tomorrow but I just CANT. I am going to find out about a meeting, I think the feeling of accountability I will feel towards being part of group will help.
I know that being totally honest with others about how much I really drink and how much I try everyday to alter how I'm feeling will be very emotional and empowering to me I think.
Ok
Thanks everyone

wiscsober

If you are alcoholic/addict you might want to explore the "Denial" aspect of the illness.

Or simply, and I have been here, you simply don't care.

Many days when I was actively using, under the influence, I no longer had the decision to drink or use. The drugs dictated that.

I'm sure there are many other reasons.

I do question that you don't want to stop if you are posting on SR also.

I hope you the best and truly at least stick with SR...and take life one day at a time.

wiscsober

Thanks for this post...I am glad you made the decision...you won't regret it.

Threshold

I'm glad you have decided to get active on this!

For many of us having a group to be accountable to does help.

I would still consider that you stay aware of your accountability to your children. We dont' need to make an out loud verbal promise to them, but every time we look at them, think of them and interact with them, remember how important it is that we live sober.

Dear child of mine. I love you. I am not going to drink your life away.

missymadr

I have been reading various posts here and find lots of wisdom.i quit drinking for 6 years and started again. I know I need to quit this. I'm going to counseling.i did go to an AA meeting once, but thought the counseling one on one would be better for me.counselor is at substance and alcohol abuse council where I live.any thoughts or questions?thanks for listening

sugarbear1

I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a staying stopped problem.

Can you stop?

ChloeB

I drank away my children's lives but I won't drink away my grandchildren's lives...Even though they are home..what if something happened and you had to drive them somewhere? Alcohol is baffling and alcoholism is a disease...you are here on SR and there are many many supportive people here!!! Take it one day at a time!!!

StevenT

Glad to see you here, for starters. As always, my experience is the best thing I can offer, and my experience is AA. My life has improved by applying the things I learned and saw others do in AA, and I have never gotten anything like I have gotten from AA from any other source. That's definitely not to say that nothing else will work, but for me, so far, AA has given me all that I need. I would say give it an honest effort and keep an open mind. You've been down the dry road before, as you said at having 6 years sober. You know what to expect from simply not drinking. If you didn't participate in any action based method, one could say that you may never have truly recovered from alcoholism. In that case a program of action, whether AA or otherwise, is what I would suggest

@MrsGrownup

It's good to see you on here Sounds like you have a plan and willpower to go through with it right now. Definitely sounds good, and I hope to continue to see you on here, I know for me this has become a part of my recovery and sobriety.

wiscsober

Exactly

At a meeting a woman shared she was riding with her daughter (both drunk, daughter driving) with a toddler. They hit a train. All survived.

Thankfully grandmother is now attending our home group -- 30 days sober.
Daughter did jail time and also is now attending meetings.
The child is being well taken care of by relatives.

Usually the results like this are not common...and even more tragic...simply it wouldn't have happened if the driver wasn't drink driving.

The grandmother has so much to give and she might not know it but she has helped me tremendously to live sober....ohh

I should mention I hit a train when drunk driving....

BlueFrancis

Anyone can get away with drinking every day. It's a matter of wanting better for ourselves and those our alcoholism affects.

llastchance8

Dear Mrs. Yes many of us did get away with drinking everyday.. Yes.. But mostly few years... It is a seriosuly progressive illnes and it catches up everyone.. It is just a matter of time.. Please do not experiment with some something, which is already a known and proven fact.. It is nice to know that you have decided to so something about it..

fini

Do I jump straight into AA? Counseling ? I've never been to talk to anyone...and honestly the idea of NEVER having another drink is ridiculous to me. I don't want to be doing what I'm doing now but is there ever a way to change it and drink more responsibly in the future?

MrsG,
there are several different routes to go, and besides AA, there are secular non-step programs which you can check out in the 'Secular Connections' section further down the list of forums.
and also, there is 'Moderation Management', an organization for those who wish to moderate their use of alcohol and think they can.
i never joined there, as their suggestion to not drink for three months before attempting the moderation program just seemed ridiculous...if i could NOT drink for three months, i figured, i sure wouldn't need MM!
in any case, for me, i tried to control my drinking in a variety of ways, and couldn't. just couldn't.
so i don't drink. ever.

best wishes on exploring and finding the way that's right for you!

FeelingGreat

Hi MrsG - when I talked to my doctor about drinking and he suggested that total abstinence was the only possibility (even though I was very persuasive about why that wasn't necessary lol) I felt a primal burst of fear, because never drinking again was unthinkable. Now I have been sober for 18 months, the benefits have been so huge that drinking again is unthinkable, because I know where it will go and I never want to be that person again.
Can I give you the comfort of knowing that waking up without self-loathing after another night of excessive drinking will become more precious to you than your glass of wine? The trick is to take it one day at time until the joy of knowing you are beating this kicks in. Please PM me if you want more practical detail on overcoming cravings and ducking the temptations in the early days. All the best.

pinkdog

Hi Mrsgrownup, welcome. Who do you think you are getting away with it from? Not yourself or you wouldn't be here. There is a reason. Very best to you. Sobriety rocks.